Husband does not want a party

Wonderful!!

Great outcome!

ah brilliant! Thanks for the update. Happy Birthday MrKartush. Sounds like you all had the best time.
Well done.

So glad it worked out well in the end Kartush. Happy memories for you all.
Hope you weren't too put off by the posts of those who couldn't wait to trumpet their opinions without fully reading or understanding your posts. Personally I found it alternately toe curling and amusing.

Hilarious reading through this thread....OP being berated for planning a get together which “isn’t allowed” when she has explained she lives in Australia. Then lots more of the same and suggestions about what should happen when OP had alreadyupdated about his decision. Classic don’t read the thread scenario.

Great news! Happy birthday to Mr Kartush. ?

Great!

Final update ..... today was his birthday, and as i said he had decided that dinner at our daughters house was ok so we have just got home and he had a wonderful time, he played with the grandkids bounced on the trampoline, ate the pizza, had beer with the sons in law and honestly enjoyed himself (and no he wasnt just putting on an act).

We had our Diamond wedding Anniversary in August, a small celebration had been planned and abandoned,however my family arranged a picnic in a local park . There were 12 of us , fortunately a week before Rule of 6 . They travelled miles between them and each one brought their own food and drink, my daughter in law arranged a picnic tray just for us two . As I hadn’t seen most of them since before lockdown and probably won’t see them again for months I felt very tearful but loved it all, there was only one grandchild missing, he’s in Australia, I thought he would have made the effort ??.
A picnic is not quite so possible now it’s colder but maybe something on those lines.

I am another person who doesn't like parties, when I turned 50 I told the family NO PARTIES, but they organised one that hardly anyone came to and I hated it. My DH loves parties, but I have said no more, even for his 70th next year. I much prefer going away somewhere and this year when I was 65, we had a family meal out and all the family went away to a caravan park for the weekend which we all enjoyed . Luckily it was weekend before the lockdown!!!!

Poor chap, quite a lot of people hate parties, have booked holidays and trips away to avoid parties and awful family get togethers.

"Why not get your children to bring the dinner to your place, then he can't complain and can't get out of it!"

Wow, just wow - and family is supposed to have your best interests at heart while ignoring the very clear wishes of an adult.

Yes, please ruin a person's bday just because he doesnt celebrate it the way you think it should be celebrated

Why not get your children to bring the dinner to your place, then he can't complain and can't get out of it!

I understand where your coming from, your husband seems very ungrateful to me,..
But at the end of the day it's his birthday, & If he want to be awkward let him
On the other hand perhaps his finding it bit depressing turning 70 and with the awareness of his sisters condition etc

beverly10

HIS choice HIS birthday and HIS sister. That should be enough so why not let the decision be up to him??
My deepest sympathy to your husband and courage to his sister.

ditto.
well put, beverley.

i'm feeling sorry for this man.

I'm hoping the OP doesn't live in any part of Britain or most parts of the westernized world I believe, 70? So high risk. Perhaps your husband would prefer to stay alive and to protect those that he loves.

I'm thinking that perhaps the OP is being sarcastic over I've misread something?

Why should an adult need an intermediary to explain his decision?
Why does an adult have to explain his decision to others?

I think you should make the offer then play the role of the go between as diplomatically as possible, explaining HIS decision. You could all have a glass of bubbly and cake at a specific time, share via zoom or not. They could send him a little present ( to eat, drink, read, listen to ...) that he would enjoy ..but thd whole " get together" thing has to be his sole decision....

It sounds as though he suspects the pizza and chilli invitation is a way to lure him to a "surprise" party (I realise it isn't) and that is not what he wants.

Even before covid I would have been mortified if I had been forced to have a party that I didn't want. Being the centre of attention was never my thing.

To make my husband feel acknowledged on his 70th during lockdown in April, i asked all his friends and colleagues no matter how vague a friendship or how far away (email obviously) and asked them to send a birthday card. It worked brilliantly he got well over 70 cards and no physical contact required. I think your pizza dinner is lovely idea but do stick to his wishes.

It’s his Birthday maybe he really doesn’t want in any way to celebrate being 70.
As hard as you and your daughters are finding it I think you really must go with his request. I actually celebrated with glee my 40 and 50, but really on turning 60 I just wanted to ignore the whole milestone totally, my daughters where very sweet and thankfully eventually believed me ! Best wishes and don’t worry.

Hate parties and had a quiet tea with the family for my 70th. Plus surely parties are a no no at the moment?!

My Husband turned 70 earlier this year in the middle of lockdown, so we couldnt see anyone else at all. The arranged party had to be cancelled. To mark this special occasion our darling daughter got in touch with everyone that knew my husband and asked them for photos and video messages, they arrived from all over the world, then she made a video of everyone and we played it to him over a toast or two! in a zoom meeting joined with our children - it was wonderful and he got a lasting memento which we have played over and over. He got to see many more friends and family than he would have at a party, it turned into such a special day.