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AIBU

The question of lunch, dinner etc

(22 Posts)
manny Sun 07-Feb-21 13:09:27

My DH asks me on several occasions every day ‘when’s dinner?’ (It’s always at the same time btw). ‘What’s for dinner?’
Same drill for lunch. It drives me bonkers. I don’t understand why though. Anybody got any thoughts on this? I do all the cooking.

BigBertha1 Sun 07-Feb-21 13:12:45

You could answer ' whenever you provide it darling' and see what occurs. smile

NotAGran55 Sun 07-Feb-21 13:18:02

Share the cooking ?

Esspee Sun 07-Feb-21 14:26:53

Why do you do all the cooking? He needs to learn then you can take it in turn. That will take the pressure off you.

Fennel Sun 07-Feb-21 14:29:52

If I aked my Gran "what's for pudding?" she would reply "Wait and see pudding"..
You could try that.

Smileless2012 Sun 07-Feb-21 14:31:25

Mr. S. never asks what we'll be having. I always cook the evening meal and he often prepares lunch. I suppose when it comes to the evening meal he's maybe just happy with what ever comes his way.

Dragonella Sun 07-Feb-21 14:43:51

Umm... ask him not to keep asking when dinner is? If he continues, put a big sign on the fridge saying DINNER IS ALWAYS AT 7 PM (or whenever)

As for asking what's for dinner - well, why not? It's kinda nice to anticipate pleasure, wouldn't you agree? As long as he doesn't say things like, "Oh, not gammon again!"

But I think there is a little issue here. If your DH has nothing to look forward to except the next meal, maybe he needs more hobbies and interests?

Jaxjacky Sun 07-Feb-21 14:46:02

manny how irritating, I’d say beans on toast! Get him involved with the planning and preparation, I hope he clears away and washes up. You’re not running a restaurant. Time to make a stand, but if you’ve always done it, best of luck.

rockgran Sun 07-Feb-21 15:47:02

It doesn't seem unreasonable to ask what is on the menu but the timing should be obvious. My DH is always delighted by the arrival of any meal. (He always washes up.) I do ask for ideas sometimes as I get fed up having to decide.

Greyduster Sun 07-Feb-21 15:59:21

It’s not so much “What’s for dinner?” in this house, it’s me asking, what would you like to eat this evening?” and getting the answer “Oh, anything. I don’t mind!” But if I put fish pie or risotto or chicken casserole in front of him (all dishes I love), he very definitely would mind!

Casdon Sun 07-Feb-21 16:20:38

I’d say ‘I really don’t mind, whatever you’re cooking for me, and as long as it’s ready by 7.30 that will be fine, thanks’ next time he asks, and see what his response is? You can use his response to that to tell him how annoying you find it - and you never know, he might say he’ll do it.

Patsy70 Sun 07-Feb-21 16:20:45

I don’t know why he should ask what time dinner is if you always serve it at the same time. Maybe he gets hungry or is forgetful? My OH and I always discuss what to have for dinner, and he cooks once or twice a week. We love food and particularly at the moment get much enjoyment from thinking about it, talking about it and eating it! Simple pleasures. 😊

M0nica Sun 07-Feb-21 16:57:55

I think it is just habit, a turn of phrase he may have brought forward from childhood , or possibly a grandparent whose mind was failing.

Towards the of his life, after a long hospital stay, DFiL used to sit at the table and as soon as a plate of food was in front of him, he would ask 'Can I start eating now?' We had no idea how or why he had started doing this.

We have no idea where this came from,

Urmstongran Sun 07-Feb-21 17:33:12

Twice a week we have a team effort. I write a shopping list & Himself goes down in the lift to Sainsbury’s. So we have a 3 day then a 4 day meal plan. We both know ‘what’s for dinner’. Works for us anyway.

sodapop Sun 07-Feb-21 18:10:05

Good idea Casdon

My husband asks me what I would like to eat on a particular day and then explains why he is not cooking the meal I asked for grrrr
Sometimes I get my choice though smile

Blossoming Sun 07-Feb-21 18:19:50

sodapop mine does that too! We both cook, but he does it most often as he doesn’t trust me in the kitchen with a wonky hand, bad balance and impaired vision. I am the queen of the slow cooker though.

sodapop Sun 07-Feb-21 18:24:41

I'm not alone then Blossoming sorry to hear about your health problems, sounds like the slow cooker does the job for you.
I hate cooking so never do it, I'm the queen of washing up though.

Blossoming Sun 07-Feb-21 19:17:34

Didn’t mean to moan about my health blush

Hetty58 Sun 07-Feb-21 19:56:21

My MIL used to answer 'When it's ready' and 'Mud pie' when her children asked her. You could try that. Really, though, he should do his fair share

Cabbie21 Sun 07-Feb-21 20:15:05

Pre-empt his question by telling him? Or planning together?
We plan our meals together, and have a routine, so if it’s Tuesday or Friday the answer’s fish, cauliflower cheese on Thursday. Wednesdays and Saturdays are not fixed, so he gets to make a suggestion and I decide, depending on what needs using. DH rarely cooks but he does prepare the veg and helps with clearing up. I have evening zoom choirs several evenings, so I need to eat promptly at 6 pm and I can’t rely on him to get it ready on time, so I cook.

sodapop Sun 07-Feb-21 20:36:44

Not moaning at all Blossoming just mentioned in passing and I picked up on it. No worries smile

grandtanteJE65 Tue 09-Feb-21 13:21:28

I would say, "At the usual time, dear. Nothing has changed since you asked me yesterday".

If you enjoy doing all the cooking, fine. If not, give him a cookery book and tell him to make something easy. Most people can manage mince and tatties!