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To felt worried about my Grandson

(20 Posts)
Scentia Thu 18-Feb-21 18:25:42

He will be two in May and he has not really had an opportunity to play with another child since he was born, my DD cannot get him into nursery as they are only open for key children and vulnerable children, so even though she can afford a nursery place there isn’t one. I worry as he still does not speak other than a few words that would not be recognised by a stranger. He has no experience of being with other children and I think this could affect his ability to mix, my DD says he won’t be the only child his age that is like that but does that make it ok? I have a lot of support for the lockdown but I feel so worried for the Pre -schoolers who seem to have been forgotten. I can’t be the only Nanna that feels like this surely.?

GagaJo Thu 18-Feb-21 18:27:07

Exactly the same as my GS Scentia. The few times he does get the chance to be with friends (when daughter had to go for a hospital appointment), he didn't know how to interact with them anymore

Grammaretto Thu 18-Feb-21 18:44:16

Our youngest is 3 and will begin pre school nursery next week. I think we are all worried as she has had very little interaction with others, hasn't played with her own age group for over a year although she has a sister of 5 who has started school but again has been on-line only since before Christmas.
Our DGC live remotely too and have no neighbours. They have TV and parents who read to them and interact so I don't really have serious worries and I don't think you should..

I have a friend who grew up on a remote NZ farm , never went to school and is now a music teacher and gifted organist, outgoing and friendly, so don't worry just yet.

Septimia Thu 18-Feb-21 18:44:39

I'm pretty sure that I only saw adults until I was older than that. I know my DS only saw the children of my friends very occasionally and hated playgroup when he was old enough at 3 to get a place.

He had no trouble making friends when he subsequently got a nursery place, or at primary or secondary school. It didn't affect his educational development as he went on to uni.

I think that, while socialising younger than 3 years old may be beneficial, your GS shouldn't suffer longterm, especially if he gets plenty of stimulation until nursery is a possibility.

I don't understand why people want to shove their children off to nursery so young unless they have to in order to work. Of course, in normal times there would be other activities for them to meet other children at.

V3ra Thu 18-Feb-21 18:46:37

Is it a particular nursery your daughter wants to send your grandson to that has these restrictions?

All Early Years settings, ie nurseries and registered childminders, are allowed to accept all children for precisely the reasons you're both outlining.

Whether they are offering places to all is down to the individual setting.
They may have staffing issues that mean they are restricting their places, but there's no government rule that says they must during the current lockdown.
It was different last year and we were restricted to keyworker or vulnerable children then.

Scentia Thu 18-Feb-21 19:00:26

It is just 1 particular nursery, yes. She has his name down at a playgroup so hopefully by the time he is 2 they will be open to new children. I know I am probably worrying unnecessarily but that’s Nanna’s for you!!!

Sara1954 Thu 18-Feb-21 19:14:40

Our youngest granddaughter has been in and out of nursery like a yo-yo. As soon as there’s a positive test, they are all shut down. She could have been back for the last few weeks, but it was decided to keep her home till her siblings are back at school. They are living with us at the moment, and she’s the spoiled little princess, she’s absolutely adorable, but definitely thinks the world revolves around her, so we’ve decided to send her back!

With regards talking, we despaired she would ever speak, and what she did say was hard to understand. Then all of a sudden, it seems she has a full vocabulary, my other daughters youngest was the same, she’s eleven now, and is never quiet.

Don’t despair, I think it’s really sad that they have missed so much, but as your daughter says, there will be plenty in the same boat.

Urmstongran Thu 18-Feb-21 19:24:39

I wouldn’t worry. At that age they tend to play ‘alongside’ rather than ‘with’ anyway. Small children are like sponges - won’t be long before they are all absorbing their new experiences.

paddyanne Thu 18-Feb-21 19:40:28

Talk to him all the time ,give a running commentary to the day ,sing songs and do clapping games ,he'll soon join in .My eldest went to work with me at 8 days old,there were only three people in the business then and we all chatted and sang to her.By the time she was 15 months she could hold a conversation ,my OH's granny used to say most babies that age spoke the odd word she talked in paragraphs.
All the talking to her worked, my GD is 17 months and doesn't speak much but she has more toys than any child I've ever known.sadly they dont need interaction in the same way a human does .When they do a doorstep visit she immediately starts the actions for a clapping song that I do with her .Of course she also has a big sister who talks for her which doesn't help

ElaineI Thu 18-Feb-21 21:33:16

Your DGS is not even 2 yet so you are worrying unnecessarily. The most important people to him are his parents and family. As Urmstongran says until they are 3 they rarely play with other children, just alongside. When you go to the park they meet other children - it's the parents who have to social distance not the adults and as long as his parents play with him and are not worried then you needn't be. My DGS2 was almost 2 when the first lockdown began and he chatters non stop to everyone including dogs (chases cats) and childminder stopped as she was shielding and only open to key workers children with no support. DGD is now 4 and has had barely any nursery. She never stops talking (to her brother's annoyance) and has always been a chatterbox. I think it depends on the child too - some talk a lot, some don't. Don't worry.

Grandmabatty Thu 18-Feb-21 21:44:22

Scentia my grandson will be 2 on Monday and can say individual words but still babbles a lot. He can communicate what he wants though! He hasn't been at playgroup or nursery either. I'm concerned about him being thrust into playgroup in August without an adult he knows being with him. However I just have to keep my worries to myself. I'm sure your dgs will be fine.

BlueBelle Thu 18-Feb-21 22:22:03

I was an only child and didn’t have any children in my life until I went to school at 4 and1/2 (no nursery’s or toddler groups in those days) I only had adults as companions it didn’t hold me back and I loved school when I got there and have never had any problem adapting and making friends
I think he will be fine try not to worry

Blencathra Fri 19-Feb-21 07:17:01

I agree BlueBelle, in our day we didn’t have toddler groups etc. I was at home and then started school and loved it from the first day.
My grandson wasn’t saying anything at 2 yrs but he started a few months later and at 3 yrs talks a lot.
It is unfortunate but children are adaptable.

Scentia Fri 19-Feb-21 07:23:56

Thanks, maybe I am worried over nothing, my DD does not seem worried and I would never tell her I was concerned so I always tell you lot. No need to put doubts in my DD head!

Urmstongran Fri 19-Feb-21 07:47:19

Sensible Scentia! Us lot are always here to listen and offer advice if asked. Don’t be worrying now. Relax, drop those shoulders and enjoy him.
Our granddaughter was a late talker. Last summer at three and a half she still wasn’t a great communicator and I found it difficult to understand her speech. If she was telling me a tale, rather than upset or frustrate her by asking to clarify it, I just listened and occasionally said “really?” to show (pretend) I was understanding her. She was 4y last month and is such a cutie - and her speech is fluent and understood by all. Such a relief although her mum, Mrs Calm, just said ‘she’ll get there in her own time’.

3dognight Fri 19-Feb-21 08:56:54

I was born in the last house down an unmade road. Surrounded by countryside. Great Aunts farm next door.
I was not exposed to other children, being the first grandchild, and parents first born. No more brothers and sisters for six years, mum was keen for me to attend the village nursery school. I hung miserably onto the railings, crying for a week, would not interact with anyone. Mum took me out after a week, perhaps wrongly. Maybe she should have let me suffer for a couple of weeks, as I have always struggled with friendships, and was bullied at school, and much prefer my own company. However I'm sure most kids are not like me, quiet and introverted hiding behind mum.

Just a different take on it, and I'm betting your dear little one will be absolutely fine and will come on I leaps and bounds once everything opens up again. Xx

Cass64 Fri 19-Feb-21 10:31:10

My eldest son grew up without children around him , he hated nursery so we didnt make him go then he was bullied at school so I home schooled him for two years.
When tested his IQ was above average and he had a vocabulary far above what was expected.

Hes now a globel team maneger for a tech company and mixes very well.

My daughter was social butterfly friends with everyone and we had a constant stream of little girls through the house as they played with dollies and built lego houses.. Now days she has two good friends but prefers to be alone and is hoping that lockdown lasts forever so that she can work from home and never have to attend a meeting again!

Children develop a personality over many years and from many different sources, nursery isnt the be all and end all.

GrannyRose15 Sun 21-Feb-21 02:12:53

There is no need to worry as the child is so young. Hopefully he is spending plenty of quality time with his mum and having lots of stimulating activities at home - music, stories, bricks, trains and cars etc. and lots of opportunity to develop his motor skills by crawling, dancing climbing. Whereas some children speak before they are two, many don't and he will doubtless catch up in time.

NotAGran55 Sun 21-Feb-21 07:48:16

Try not to worry.

Due to phobias someone I know deliberately kept her daughter away from other children, no playgroups , nursery or group activities etc .
It worried me no end and I felt very sorry for the child . She was reluctant to go to school having been stuck to her mother’s side for 4 years . Once she got over her shyness she blossomed . During primary school she started dance classes and discovered a love for acting and shows etc . She is now a very confident young lady at 12 .

Eloethan Sun 21-Feb-21 18:23:45

I was an only child and for, I would say, the first four years of my life I rarely saw other children. I don't think there were playgroups and toddler groups in the 1950's. If there were, I never went to them.

I am not especially outgoing - and wasn't when I was a child - but I still managed to get on quite well with other children and make friends. I wouldn't worry about it too much.