Gransnet forums


Does anyone else feel that they have been treated unkindly more often by women than by men? I have not dared to do this before so please be nice.

(73 Posts)
Violettham Wed 31-Mar-21 14:38:52

I have found in my long life I have had more upsets caused by unkindness from women than I
have had from men.

lemongrove Wed 31-Mar-21 16:41:04

I agree Witzend 👍🏻

Urmstongran Wed 31-Mar-21 16:52:58

Can’t say I’ve ever noticed Violet. However the fact your past experiences prompted you enough to open a thread and ask us to be kind suggests to me that you are upset in some way. Are you? Would you like to share? Have some events bothered you? x

GagaJo Wed 31-Mar-21 17:01:51

Both. I have had shocking managers who were men and terrible managers that were women.

The best mangers I have ever had, however, have been women.

In general, I think it is pretty equal. Men can be arses and women can be nasty.

eazybee Wed 31-Mar-21 17:35:54

I really can't think of many occasions I have been treated unkindly, that is , unfairly, by either men or women.
There have been a few but that was due to situation, not the sex, and occasionally, looking back, I may even have been slightly to blame.

Deedaa Wed 31-Mar-21 17:46:58

I've worked for some very unpleasant women but only a couple of awful men. All the women I had problems with had their own little band of favourites and I never seemed to fit the right pattern (not that I wanted to, I was much happier with the oddballs that I did get on with)

Amberone Wed 31-Mar-21 18:17:59

The best manager I ever had was a woman. The worst manager I ever had was also a woman. In between I have had a variety of good and bad, men and women. Men and women can be equally arrogant and snotty and equally inspiring.

Loislovesstewie Wed 31-Mar-21 18:24:23

I always preferred men as managers; they were more straightforward, didn't hold a grudge and if they had to 'speak to me' once I had got the telling off that was it. Women on the other hand.........

Kim19 Wed 31-Mar-21 18:31:27

I always found that my female superiors were more demanding than the males but they worked equally hard themselves. My male bosses tended to be much less productive. Never had a personal problem with any of them ever.

Dottydots Wed 31-Mar-21 18:47:22

I worked as a secretary and was lucky to always have a male boss. They were all lovely men and treated me with respect and we had a lot of laughs.

However, 12 months before I retired I had to work for a younger woman. She bullied me in different ways and made my life a misery. Looking back, I really I wish I had complained about her.

BlueBelle Wed 31-Mar-21 19:04:38

I didn’t like my last female boss but she wasn’t nasty to me I just didn’t like her I can’t say I ve ever been badly treated by women, well nothing to make me lose sleep over, and I have only been treated badly by men within a relationship not in everyday life

Nannytopsy Wed 31-Mar-21 19:21:43

I was in a female dominated workplace and was shamelessly bullied by two women heads to the point where my union stepped in and negotiated a settlement. I wasn’t even allowed to tell colleagues I was leaving.
Male heads respected me and my abilities and promoted me.

Beauregard Wed 31-Mar-21 19:22:14

In my first job as a 17 year old I worked with two women in their 50's. I thought they'd be kind and motherly towards me and less bitchy than girls my own age. I was totally wrong about that, they were much worse!

In my second job (of 23 years) I was happy for the first 22 years then a takeover took place and there were changes. All the nicest people left or were made redundant except for two women who teamed up and treated me very badly. One of them then became my manager so I left the company. Thankfully my third and final job was a happy one for 19 years.

All of my male bosses over the years treated me very well.

Sallywally1 Wed 31-Mar-21 19:57:24

I’ve known good and bad from both genders in my working life. I do notice men get less friendly and women more so as I have got older!

When I broke my ankle though and was in a wheelchair I became instantly invisible to men everywhere, but most women went out of their way to be nice.

Redhead56 Wed 31-Mar-21 19:59:16

My dad fully equipped me with knowledge of the work place so I was never a pushover. I worked at the merchant navy office when I was about 18. (I mentioned this on another thread). I objected to being told to wear a skirt not trousers by my male boss. I was also constantly telling my female supervisor to keep her hands to herself I was not that way inclined.

I would often tell off male colleagues usually the married ones for trying it on.
I have not really had hassle in a shop or store. If I did I would simply tell them to do the job they are paid to do. I helped run our family business so I am used to dealing with customers and staff.

simtib Wed 31-Mar-21 20:18:28

My daughter now 40 is disabled and walks with crutches. The only time she has had any problem getting the seat that is reserved for the disabled on the underground has always been when a young woman is sitting in it.

timetogo2016 Thu 01-Apr-21 10:53:00

My X not withstanding i have never been treated badly by men,but most definitley by women.
Being brought up a publicans daughter it was the majority of women who caused upsets/arguments etc.
They always reminded me of Audrey Roberts in Coronation Street in the 90s.
I don`t watch it these days.

henetha Thu 01-Apr-21 10:56:46

I think it's mixed. Certainly sometimes women can be bitchy, in the workplace for instance. But the worst row of my life when I was called names I can't repeat was with a man.

Newatthis Thu 01-Apr-21 11:46:59

I was bullied at the girls' school I went to and also in adult life by a gaggle of neighbours. the leader of this pack was the vicar's wife. She caused so much upset and hurt in the community, that in the end I wrote to the diocese to report her. She practically caused one young mum who had PND to commit suicide, telling everyone that she thought that this young mum was HIV positive (not true). This was in the 80's when we didn't know much about HIV or AIDS so this poor girl was shunned by everyone.It usually is from jealousy. I always treat everyone with respect - male or female unless I am wronged.

moggie57 Thu 01-Apr-21 11:52:43

women in general .have a looser a fish wife shouting her wares , they tend to let rip more . usually i stand and listen ,then when i can get a word in edgeways ,i say HAVE YOU FINISHED? AND WALK AWAY ..

BlueSky Fri 02-Apr-21 09:15:30

Definitely! Like others I could write a book about work colleagues, not to mention female bosses! Sadly in hospital the male nurses are the kindest and most sympathetic. Same with shop assistants. So much for female solidarity!

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 02-Apr-21 12:53:27

I think when I look back on nasty behaviour that it's about equal as both sexes are capable of behaving badly. Being nasty and bullying take many forms. Perhaps with women it's more psychological, a bit more subtle and hidden. But no, I don't think that women are worse.

Pammie1 Sat 03-Apr-21 11:05:15

Definitely agree. From female shop assistants, healthcare providers, to aggressive work colleagues who weren’t above bullying to achieve their goals.

nanna8 Wed 07-Apr-21 02:46:29

I noticed that men seem more likely to take credit for something a female has actually done than vice versa. On the other hand I think women take the prize for sustained bitchiness. Men seem to challenge, make a nasty comment, then move on, at least the ones I have dealt with

grandtanteJE65 Wed 07-Apr-21 12:11:33

Generally speaking, no.

However, women gynaecologists are in my experience ruder and heavier handed than their male colleagues.

Presumably, I have just been unfortunate with the women doctors who have chosen this particular feild to specialise in.

Grandma70s Wed 07-Apr-21 12:17:03

I don’t feel as if I’ve been treated unkindly by anybody!