Expecting too much of my cleaner

I've started cleaning for a couple in their 90's. My husband does their garden. They were paying a "professional " cleaner and I have no idea what does was doing as the place was filthy. Another neighbour had the same woman and it turned out she spent most of her time sat drinking coffee and reading magazines whilst they were at work! The first 2 weeks it took me a long time as it was so bad, but now I can whuzz through it and they are so grateful.

Agree Absolutely

I have a brilliant cleaner. We had to lay her off during lockdown. She used to come to us for five hours once a week. She had her own system and did different things according to her own judgement. The basics were done every week but then she would do something extra like cleaning the windows inside and out, or as we have vaulted ceilings she would get out the tall steps and cleaning implements on poles and get into corners and so on between beams etc. Far better than anything I could do. My husband and I muddled along during the lock-downs, but she is younger and better t cleaning than we are. One day just a couple of months ago my husband said "Why don't we ask Xxx if she has time to come once a month and bottom the place". "We will pay her more than we did when she came weekly if she is available."
I thought it was a great idea and thankfully so did she. She came to see us and we offered her the new rate. "She said that is not necessary , two pounds less per hour will be fine." We insisted that she took the higher rate. Her family circumstances had changed and she is also caring for a couple of family members. She is wonderful, she works really hard, we go out to get from under her feet. However, we would never expect her to empty bins or to clean out shower traps. These are 'personal tasks' and we see that they are done before she arrives. What I do find shocking is hearing people using phrases like "Keeping a dog and barking yourself". Such disrespect is really unpleasant. Speaking 'down' to people just because you feel you have the power to, paying them what in 'real' terms is often a pittance, says more about the so-called 'employer' than the person trying to do a job to bring money into their family home.

You are not expecting too much - if you were clear at the outset or as soon as you spotted the problem. If you need this done (and given your mobility I guess you do!) maybe you need a new cleaner. We were clear we want the floors prioritised, hoover too heavy for us, but we don’t want her to empty bins except the main kitchen one (too intimate), and we consider the fridge / microwave “extras” that we would talk about. Our cleaner is great, a bit neglectful of corners / behind sofa, but an honest hard working dynamo. We have paid her all through Covid. We have had some bad experiences years ago, including a missing ring, it is hard to confront a difficult situation I agree.

I now have a small manageable house so do my own cleaning. In the past I had employed a few cleaners. Only one of them was really thorough, the others became complacent very quickly. The last one I had used to sulk if I asked her to improve upon something, however if my husband asked her, she was fine.

I have two wonderful cleaning ladies. They do everything including windows and patio doors. They come for an hour once a fortnight and charge £30. I think I have earned this as I cleaned my own house for 48 yrs plus working and making meals etc for my family (3 chn)

I clear all the surfaces in kitchen, bedrooms and bathroom before they come so they can get as much done as possible in the hour.

Thank you all for helping me finally understand!
The cleaner problem has been challenging me!
You have all given me a wonderful overview.

Many years ago, I needed a cleaner due to ill health and having a young family.
I was living abroad, in a Mediterranean country.
I was never asked what I wanted doing, and I never said.
Quite simply, the cleaner came three times a week and did WHATEVER needed doing. She looked, saw and did it.
The house was spotless and she often put something on to cook when she arrived that would be ready after two, sometimes three hours, for the evening meal. She was a wonderful cook! She would also put the washing machine on, and even though I said it wasn’t necessary, she simply said that it was a good use of her time while she was doing other jobs cleaning. I promise you, she did everything that needed doing without asking. Even if I was out when she was there, it was spotless. If I wanted a particular thing doing, I would simply ask and there was no problem.
I was extremely uncomfortable and thought it was expecting something totally unreasonable that she washed and polished floors on her hands and knees but she would have none of doing it any other way. “A mop doesn’t clean properly” was her argument.
She was an excellent cleaner! And to such an extent that when we were away on holiday, we continued to pay her hours and a little extra.

You can imagine my steep learning curve and surprise when I first had a cleaner here, in England. Particularly as they could not/ would not do some of the tasks that I didn’t do.
Several cleaners later I finally found a reliable cleaner, through an agency, who cleaned thoroughly and with no criticism or racism implied, she was not English. And she was paid well.
Until then I had wondered if I was the problem, expecting too much, almost anxious about requesting anything....
You wonderful people have shown me that I was neither imagining or expecting too much, and that this problem is not an isolated one.
I have recently moved home and have not yet employed anyone, as the stress of someone doing what I can do, but not doing the tasks that I need done, feels overwhelming!
I am now convinced that employing an agency bi-annually to do a deep clean, with myself maintaining bit by bit each week the jobs that need doing is going to be the best way, if I can manage it.
Why ever would we pay someone to do the tasks that are relatively easy and, if we are fortunate, do ourselves.
I am coming to the conclusion that many of the cleaners I have had and heard about, simply make the place look and smell nice but do not clean properly e.g behind the taps, behind furniture, or even move objects to dust and polish. I too can ‘spread the dust around’ with a feather duster.
I guess I am just fussy!

I have had so many breakages from cleaners ( iron, ornaments, wall art bottle of perfum, persian rugs left out " to air", but it rained .. that I have just given up. I do everything to make my home easy to clean, use good products, have good vaccum, steam cleaner etc ...

My mother is surprised I’ve never employed cleaners as me and husband always worked bought up 3 kids etc. I can’t imagine having a stranger in my house and my stuff! I’d end up cleaning before they came in case they think I’m dirty! My mothers always been particularly lazy!! I understand the older people get the more difficult it is, and I imagine at some point in distant future we’ll need help. We now run part of our house as a holiday let and that’s my husband's ‘job’ - she still thinks we should have cleaner she doesn’t understand ‘MEN’ can clean too! Thinks I’m being lazy even though I still work full time which she’s never done. I get very frustrated when older generation don’t understand I HAD to work, wasn’t a lovely career choice, but necessary to pay mortgage bills etc.

Sorry rant over, ultimately if your employee isn’t doing what’s requested you find another cleaner.

I use a social network called Nextdoor - that links you up with people in your local area. Its excellent for stuff like cleaner recommendations - we're a little way off that but, once my husband has his next PIP assessment (mobility is pretty much a dead cert), I will be looking for someone to come in twice a month to do the stuff I find difficult such as mopping the kitchen floor.

These messages are interesting. How long do OP’s cleaners come for, and how much can they do in 2 hours? I stopped my cleaner at the beginning of lockdown and I’m reluctant to get her back because although very nice, she was a bit of a gossip and I felt she wasn’t very thorough, everything was skimmed over and afterwards although it looked nice, it was surface cleaning. I find with some cleaners that they want to please the ‘man of the house’, and denigrate the women they work for! Do others (like me) tidy the house before the cleaner comes?! All very exhausting. Our house is in a mess, but I’m reluctant to look for someone else!

kwest

I was the one who quoted ‘keeping a dog and barking yourself’.

I was answering a poster who was called ‘germanshepherdsmum’ and thought it was appropriate. Obviously not.

I’ll also quote ‘He who pays the piper calls the tune’, but no doubt that will not be acceptable either.

As I said, I don’t employ a cleaner, but if I did, I would gladly pay him/her for a job well done.

This all reminds me of a very dear friend who hired a cleaner and things ticked along fine until her DH retired, then the cleaner decided that flirting with him was better than actually cleaning. My friend got rid of her and her husband re-hired her to help with getting their house ready to sell. This woman is a single mum with a 7 year old, no family and sees her husband as a quick cash fix, she also borrows their Vax etc. My friend is fairly sure that it is not an affair as her husband has serious health issues but she just won't go away no matter how many times she has been told to do so. Apparently she only cleans for older people, prefers single gentlemen living alone. I wonder why!

I bought my 92 year old dad one of those gardening stools to help him with low down jobs. You can use it as an ordinary stool to sit on or flip it upside down, kneel on the padded underside of the seat and push yourself up using the U shaped legs. If you have strong arms (he does) it's brilliant!

No Admum3 you are not expecting too much .

Just say very politely to your cleaner " The shower trap needs to be cleaned. It is physically impossible for me to do it. Because of my physical limitations I employ you to do cleaning. So, if you refuse to do it who will do it???"

Hi Milliedog. That stool’s just like mine and yes you can kneel on that and use the legs to get down and up again. Really handy.

Totaly agree with harrigran.
If you want microwaves etc cleaned it`s a house keeper you want.

A cleaner cleans, as far as I'm concerned.
Why on earth wouldn't they give a microwave a wipe out?
It's a square box that cooks things, not a box full of sewage.

As a cleaner myself, I am very specific in letting clients know what I will and will not do for each of the 2 types of cleans that I offer. If a client wants to discuss things outside of what I offer, that's perfectly fine. However, there are certain things that I don't feel I am able do to a high enough standard due to my own limitations, and therefore I would not be comfortable being paid to do them.

I feel that it's very important to go into detail about what's expected an what's not, on both sides, before entering into a professional relationship. Miscommunication or total lack of communication will have a negative impact on both parties in the long run!

kathsue

Emptying bins is a much longer job than it used to be -- all that sorting out of recyclable and non-recyclable items. I don't think I'd like anyone going through my rubbish in such detail.

but surely you just put rubbish in the pedal bin ? that;s what i do. and why i only have one small bag a week to go out.
most is recycling, which i keep aside and put in the other bin.
it's mostly plastic and cardboard/paper, so not dirty.
but i think in some places you have to further sort the recycling. must be tedious, with different bags/boxes.
we just have a wheelie bin for it, into which everything recyclable is chucked.
by the way, does everyone now have to pay extra for green waste bin collection, grass clippings etc ?

Hi I’m a cleaner and just do this as a weekly job (and microwave, empty bins etc). I wouldn’t think not to do it!
If she definitely won’t do it then try brushing your hair just before you have a shower to reduce the amount of hair that goes down the plug hole. Once a week, if you can manage it, pour boiling water down the plug hole and then pour a cup of baking soda down. After a few minutes add a cup of vinegar. Give the mixture a few hours to work to dissolve the hair/soap scum etc, and then rinse out the drain with boiling water. The drain sticks are also quite good.

welbeck

Yes, our green waste collection is £40 per year, every 2 weeks in summer months, less frequently in wintertime.

We don't have to pay for disposal of green waste. The food waste also goes in the same bin.

After 12 years my cleaner retired herself and I missed her. I now have a male cleaner who got hooked on certain jobs e.g. the cooker hob and spent ages on it. I now have pre-printed lists and I tick off one room plus the bathroom, kitchen and downstairs toilet. Before he comes I clear everything from the ticked room leaving every surface clear, so he just cleans. I can then clean all items before I return them to the cleaned room. If there is anything special I want doing I add it to his list. He is quite happy to help my husband turn the mattress for example or completely clean the kitchen tiles (it's a big area). I know if I asked him he would clean the microwave. My husband goes round the house emptying bins before we have a waste collection. The only problem I have now is he has just written off his car so cannot get to come to clean.