Boys in ladies changing rooms at the gym.

I would never use communal changing rooms anyway, whether in shops, at the pool, or anywhere else. I don’t want to display my flab, nor do I want to see anyone else’s, thank you.

If we take Gdcs swimming, we use the larger, family cubicles. Those should always be an option IMO.

Exactly, NotSpaghetti. Public mixed showers mean an expectation that swimwear will be worn for showering. It means that children of either sex can shower and have their hair washed etc by either parent, and "nasty men", Boogaloo, would be put out straight away if they dared to try anything.

Public mixed showers are generally in a public area boogaloo I think. The mixed shower areas expect people to shower in their swimwear.

In the ladies changing rooms of gyms, sports clubs etc I think you'll often find women naked as they take off the costume to shower and then get dry and dressed in an open female-only area.

Ethelwashere1

Our pool has unisex changing, i can shower next to an old man, a child or a female. Changing rooms are cubicles for either sex with larger group changing rooms for families.

I bet the nasty men who, back in the olden days, flashed themselves to girls and women while standing in the shrubbery, just love that set-up!

Our pool has unisex changing, i can shower next to an old man, a child or a female. Changing rooms are cubicles for either sex with larger group changing rooms for families.

I already posted about our swimming pool's village changing area, where everyone goes and swimwear must be worn in the showers and everywhere except the cubicles. This makes family changing easy and solves the issue of where trans people should change.

It occurs to me that Center Parcs, a commercial organisation which cannot afford any suspicion of child endangerment, uses the same sort of system.

I still don't understand; if it works, and it does, why is it not more common?

A bit of a tricky situation. The David Lloyd I belong to allows boys in the ladies changing rooms. Some I guess 9 or 10? I tend to go at quieter times and undress/dress away from them if I see them. Just hope their mother's have told them not to stare!

grandetanteJE63 Attendants to help lone children?
Every paedo in the country would be applying for that job!

This seems to me to be a matter for your MP.

Surely, it is not just up to the gym or swimming baths to decide at what age children should not use the changing rooms of the opposite sex?

These days, with all the focus on child abuse of the sexual kind, I think any parent or grandparent might hestitate to let children go into changing rooms on their own!

There should be sufficient attendants in the changing rooms who can help a child on his or her own.

If this is not so, check whether the conditions are in contravention of the Public Decency Act or whatever it is called in the U:K.

In Denmark, children under 7 are allowed into the changing rooms of the opposite sex if accompamied by the parent of that sex. A girl of seven, going into the baths with her father would be directed to the women's area, where either a female attendant will help her, or any of the mothers and grandmothers changing in there would.

I doubt any of us would feel it appropriate to be seen naked by a nine or ten year old of the opposite sex that we were not related to.

Grannynannywanny

I think a 9 year old boy is too young to use the male changing rooms without an accompanying adult.

Would you want the father of a 9 year old girl take her into the men's changing room? If No, then it's No for boys in the women's changing room at 9.

JaneJudge

Sago, I did post earlier about this but the leisure centres themselves have rules about children being accompanied under a certain age and it is a direct result of safeguarding. It isn't (or wasn't) unusual for youngsters to be sexually assaulted in swimming pools. Ask anyone who has ever worked in a leisure centre, they know who these men are.

As for dressing/undressing, I do think that is a bit odd. You used to be asked to get them used to putting their PE kit on and off before they started school. Mine had no problem though as they used to and still do change their clothes several times a day

I learned to swim, many years ago, at an old Victorian swimming pool. The cubicles were round the pool on three walls. No issues with boys or girls being with a parent of the opposite sex as anyone could use a cubicle. They weren't the flimsy metal type, the were proper little rooms, brick walls, heavy wooden door.

The life guards were round the pool so you never felt isolated like the modern changing rooms with no supervision.

The Victorians got some stuff right in my opinion.

Our pool has only a men's or ladies' change rooms. When my boys were over 7, I would send them into the men's, change myself quickly and hover by the men's door. On occasion I had been known to open the door a crack and yell down the hall for "D & J to hurry up, please, Mum is waiting!" You can't see directly to the change area, since the hallway turns. There are surprisingly few cubicles though for the amount of swimmers.

I am so happy now that airports and other public spaces have family toilets. I hated sending my young boys into the unknown.

Devorgilla has indeed raised a very good point and I’m sure her daughter and grandson have encountered this problem in more places than their local leisure centre.

I experience this when travelling with my cousin who has a severe learning disability. In some places, including airports, I have found sometimes that the disabled toilet is either in the male or female toilet block rather than an entirely separate one. So I’m faced with the choice of taking him to the disabled cubicle in the female toilets or I have to take him to the disabled cubicle in the male toilets. I feel I tend to cause the most alarm by taking a middle aged man into the female toilets so I go in the male toilets and avert my eyes from the wall of urinals.

Devorgilla, you make a good point. I hope that your friend makes this very strongly to the pool she uses.

I use a few different pools regularly, and all of them have good family and / or disabled changing facilities. It is unacceptable to have to wait for more than a short time for one to become available.

Whilst sympathetic, I do think that your friend should be standing her ground for a proper changing facility, and not taking her son into the women's areas. I don't think it is helpful for anybody to have to deal with the situation you describe.

You make some very goor points Devorgilla Life isn’t that straightforward at times and people can sometimes make judgements without knowing the full facts.

Bibbity At no point did I say everyone was “ well to do” I said it was a members only and people signed in.

If it was a municipal pool anyone could walk in.
I stated it was as safe as you can get.

Unfortunately we live in a world where teachers, youth leaders, priests, Uncles, Aunts, next door neighbours are all potentially suspects, however we cannot be with our children 24/7.

We have to allow young people independence and they have to be aware of the dangers.
How can we do this if we are hand holding until they leave home?

No-one seems to have considered the mother with a disabled child or one with autism. My daughter sometimes takes her 14 going on 15 autistic son swimming, an outing he loves. Getting into the pool is fine as she normally changes him in advance but getting out wet and having to change to dry clothes presents a real problem. She cannot let him go into the male changing room on his own. He has no sense of 'stranger danger' and could also easily be bullied by others or disappear if he is changed first. She tries to get a disabled cubicle but these are in very short supply. No-one, when they design changing rooms, consider this problem. I think all changing and toilet areas should have a facility that allows a parent to 'lock' the child into a cubicle in a dual facility that they, the parent, control so that both parties can change without impinging on the 'righteous' outrage of the rest of us. At the moment she just runs the gauntlet of the nasty comments and stares and takes him in with her.

You probably mean the ones you have heard about bibbity.
We always hear most about high profile people.

I take it you don't work in this area?

Yes most likely.

But the idea the OP put forward that it’s perfectly safe because everyone signs in and their all well to do is just laughable.

The Prost prolific pedophiles that I know are all the wealthy upper class and well know.

I m not grumpy at all sago trying to put your question into perspective but anyway nothing more to be said

Bibbity

It’s not about dressing or undressing themselves.
Or about the class of the members. Look at the news most the predators are from the upper classes.

This is NOT true.
Abusers are everywhere and most likely to be family or very close to the family.

eazybee

I was not pleased when semi -naked in the ladies changing room a mother took a forbidden shortcut to the downstairs cubicles families were supposed to use with two junior aged boys I taught; they sniggered the whole way through and back in school the next day.
Not a cultural thing, more to do with old-er age and modesty.
Gyms are encouraging family membership; provision for children's changing rooms is an issue they have to address.

??that is cultural

You mean the generation that has now been discovered to have had rampant child abuse covered up?…

Sago, I did post earlier about this but the leisure centres themselves have rules about children being accompanied under a certain age and it is a direct result of safeguarding. It isn't (or wasn't) unusual for youngsters to be sexually assaulted in swimming pools. Ask anyone who has ever worked in a leisure centre, they know who these men are.

As for dressing/undressing, I do think that is a bit odd. You used to be asked to get them used to putting their PE kit on and off before they started school. Mine had no problem though as they used to and still do change their clothes several times a day

Bluebelle stop being so grumpy.

The mothers saw to their children then went in to their cubicles alone.

I wouldn’t send a 7 year old away to school either, the point I am making is that our generation seem to have been far more capable at a younger age.