Calendargirl
All our bills come out of our joint account. Before we retired, both our salaries went in there, and now our pensions do. DH gets far more pension than me, but our money is treated as equal.
We haven’t always agreed on everything, but I can honestly say money has never been a point of conflict. I think we have been very fortunate,
Same here. We opened a joint account as soon as we decided to get married, and both salaries were paid into it (DH's was much greater than mine!). The mortgage, plus all other expenses were paid out of it. We've never had a 'his & mine' situation.
I've never felt that I couldn't buy something for myself when needed/wanted, and DH has never made me feel that I shouldn't. It has always been based on mutual respect, and trust, even when I gave up work after having our children, and we only had DH's salary.
However, we do have some friends who are shocked at the way we do things, and would never dream of sharing 'their' money with their other half. To us, that seems strange in a marriage. Each to their own.
If I was in the OP's situation, I think it only fair that you both benefit from having paid off your mortgage. Your DH currently pays £1385pm, and you pay £1131pm. Once your mortgage is paid off, he will only have £85pm to pay, but you'll still have monthly outgoings of £1131. I can't see how anyone would think that's fair, unless, perhaps, you already earn far more than your DH ...?