Why do staff not intervene?

I'm afraid that even a quiet word with the children, to some parents would mean a complaint to management and either a disciplinary or even loss of a job as a result.
Yes it is the parent's responsibility, but is it the staff's responsibility to stand in for the parent?
Why is it that we will sit back and moan when children misbehave in places like hotels and restaurants and not say anything, but expect the staff (and it definitely won't be in their job description) to be the ones to say something ? They have enough to tend to.

Sorry, typo "well away"

I remember being in a restaurant where one family's children actually came under our table. At this stage the restaurant staff intervened and the parents glowered at us as they attempted to get their repulsive children under control.
My daughter's children are not always well behaved so we have an arrangement with our regular restaurant to sit us at the far end, we'll away from other diners who might be disturbed. We also try to eat early, before they get too busy and need to use the space near our table.
On tge rare occasions when tge two year old kicks off she simply takes him home.

I suppose one way to keep kids sat on their chairs is to hook them up to electronic devices. But I don't like to see that either.

Surely if you go to a family friendly pub with a play barn you expect children to be there!

Trouble is the parents who let there 'little angels' run around and be noisy do in fact think everyone will love them like they do! Well, we don't like them like you do so rule them in and set an example!

It is NOT difficult to control your children!

I too dislike a visit to a restaurant being disrupted by unruly children and parents who do little to control them. But I can understand young serving staff not wishing to confront the situation and risk abuse or violence, it should really be management who deal with it. We have occasionally asked other diners to keep the noise down or returned a 'wandering' child to them, and (as a woman) I usually get a better response than my DH.

On the other hand we have been on the receiving end of rude comments from other diners when eating out as a whole family - 8 adults and 9 children aged between 2 and 15. We usually go to a large (family friendly) restaurant which has a big outdoor play area with swings & treehouse etc. The kids can let off steam there before we sit down to eat. Our GC do not run around in the restaurant area, they usually help keep the little ones amused and join in the general conversation, though sometimes voices and laughter can get a bit loud amplified by the vast open-plan barn and high ceiling. If I think that's happening I'll ask everyone to calm it a little, it always works as does a 'nanny glare'! But we have had comments such as "Why don't you take your herd to the zoo" and "We came here for a quiet meal not to be surrounded by a load of kids." I'm more than capable of responding to such comments, but I do think some people just don't like to see children in restaurants, or they choose the wrong restaurants to eat in. The only times we eat out are when our AC and GC visit and we won't be put off by a few intolerant people.

* It can be so difficult to control children. Please cut parents a little slack.*

What an entitled attitude. Why should other paying customers have their experience ruined by uncontrollable children ?

The more I see of the way the world is going, the more I understand why staff are reluctant to intervene in these situations, and why some company policy is actively not to intervene. Given that any attempt by individual staff members would likely be met with accusations of a myriad of ‘isms’ the first consideration for any staff member should be ‘is it worth my job’ ? Absolutely not. Let other customers vote with their feet by leaving/not patronising the establishment in the future/leaving reviews on appropriate websites.

Tuppance

Difficult situation, but staff don't interfere because they are afraid of consequences. Years ago I worked in a department store, I was walking across shop floor and a young child (about 2 or 3) ran out of lift, the very large mother was finding it difficult to control child. I ran after child and grabbed him just before he ran out of automatic doors. The mother, by this time quite a distance away, screamed at me to not touch her child! I explained he was running out of door into traffic, well he has to learn she replied!

I wonder whether you'd have been blamed by the irresponsible mother, if he'd actually escaped and been injured by traffic, for not stopping him.
Unbelievable!

Most of us are parents inishowen of course there were odd times when things got out of control but in the main when our children were young they were expected to behave appropriately. I do agree with the poster who said that now parents don't engage with their children at the table but concentrate on gadgets etc.

In fairness, things usually have to get pretty bad before another customer becomes vocal. When you say he ran away from the table do you mean he kept tearing around the place making a racket? Because I think that would annoy most people.
If he simply ran off once and was immediately brought back to the table, then the other customer was just being grumpy.

My daughter is a single parent and took her children to a hotel last weekend. The youngest is four and he ran away from the table at dinner and again at breakfast . My daughter became so stressed when another guest muttered "for Christ sake",. It can be so difficult to control children. Please cut parents a little slack.

I've worked in many bars and restaurants over the years and also have 4 children.
I have always made sure my children behave when we are out for a meal etc but also given them plenty of attention and made them part of the occasion.
Sadly, many parents nowadays ignore their children and give them gadgets or expect the staff to parent for them. I say this as a mother of small children as well as a grandmother to a baby!
In my job, I always intervened when unruly children were being ignored. The polite and respectful customers were the ones I was concerned about upsetting, not the lazy parents allowing their children to upset everyone!
I also asked the children to say please when the parents allowed them to bark their orders at me with no manners.
I had to ask one mother to pick her crawling baby up off the floor as we were carrying trays of scalding hot drinks and there could possibly be tiny shards of broken glass the cleaner had missed.
I had to tell another woman that no, her children could not skate up and down inside the busy restaurant!

Going back to your original question, I think there are so many youngsters working in these establishments, they feel intimidated by the thought of confronting parents.
Management should be dealing with the issues though if the staff aren't trained to so don't be afraid to ask them.

I was in my local supermarket one day when two boys aged about ten or eleven were having a game of chase round the isles. The parent was paying no attention to them. As one boy raced past me for at least the third time, I stopped him and told him this is a shop and not a playground and they were being a possible danger to people especially the elderly. He crept away sheepishly to his friend, telling him what I had said. Seeing them minutes later they were both behaving impeccably, although giving me glares at the same time. I just smiled and nodded at them, as if to say that's better.

I tend to think with respect to those with austism or other disabilities, you choose somewhere accessible and I am fully aware as a parent what is and isn't accessible. I realise it can be argued that because disability discrimination, everywhere should be accessible but quite frankly it isn't. I wouldn't want to have a meal somewhere where I was made to feel uncomfortable so would go elsewhere. I suppose the same is true with young children. I realise people may feel differently to me.

StoneofDestiny

*Some children may have Autism spectrum disorders, these are not immediately apparent of course and will cause behavioural issues! I hate people getting irritated with very young children certainly the under 5’s! I really dont mind children making a noise and playing when i eat out, obviously safety has to be an issue but I know how hard I find it to keep my 4 and 2 year old grandsons in check! 4 year old is being assessed for autism now and 2 year old is 2!*

The majority of children do not have autism. If children cannot, or haven’t been taught how, to sit at a table and not run around st meal times, then parents shouldn’t take them into a restaurant until they can, People pay a lot to dine out and expect a calm environment.
Sadly too often some parents don’t even have their children eating at a table at home and they have no idea to behave.

I couldn't agree more. Why should we go home after an expensive meal covered in sticky finger marks and meals spoiled by unsupervised children running around bumping into staff carry hot food, or even as I have reaching up to take something off my plate.
My GC all know how to behave and one when only 5 did not make a fuss when their meal was not brought to the table, they shared until we pointed out to the staff and then that was shared and rewarded by the restaurant with a free pudding each with icecream for such good manners. My Dh's took crayons and colouring books or similar that could occupy them and keep them on their seats.
I have been out with others though who let their children roam around touching and bothering people. I sat with a bright red face and kept waiting for one of the parent's step in which they didn't. As we were leaving I did point out to the manager who we know that they were not my grandchildren he said there was nothing really they could do.I know their parents heard me but still said nothing.
Having worked in a school for children with special needs they are taught social skills one being able to use a knife and fork and the other to sit through a meal.

On a long haul flight, two sets of friends with their children booked in different parts of the plane. During the night they swapped, adults together, grouping the children together in the middle isle. It was murder, the stewards did nothing. My sleep, as was everyone’s else, was ruined until after a few hours I got up and complained to the staff. Shame I didn’t do it earlier, the parents were told to take their original seats because it wasn’t safe, after, peace reigned.

I suppose the staff could have inferred there was danger without being confrontational. Like, 'we bring hot drinks out this way' sort of thing?

I also hate young children being allowed to ruin a restaurant experience for me. I have asked children in the past to go and fight/play/ roll around on the floor by their parents table and not mine. This has worked.
On the subject of autistic children they are capable of behaving and can sit nicely in a restaurant. I have worked with autistic youngsters for years and would always expect them to behave when they are eating out. I think is in unfair to assume that an autistic child will be running around and causing mayhem.
The staff in cafes and restaurants are usually young and can’t be expected to deal with these sort of problems.

sodapop

I agree Beswitched it is noticeable that this happens as a matter of course here in France. Children sit at the table with their parents and eat their meal without a lot of messing about.

It depends how often and where the children are used to eating whilst little, we used to take our everywhere with us and I always impressed on them that they must NOT annoy people and that any little games they were playing, (that made them laugh loudly etc) were not for outdoors only at home/grandma's etc. They understood fine and I used to regularly have compliments on how ell behaved they were! And no they weren't little robots, just well mannered. Kids follow whatever parents allow.ive also walked out of places mid meal, without payy, when behaviour was Intolerable and nobody was willing to stop it! Once place said it would call police as I'd not paid , I said not to bother We WERE the police!

Think the time is near when restaurants,pubs and places for social gatherings should have signs instructing that children are expected to remain seated at tables. If they can't they shouldn't be in the venue in the first place. I've been in many European, Asian eating places, hotels and noticed how well behaved the children have been. Even on camp sites in Europe the children seem to be expected to be seated with adults by 7 pm chatting and taking part with the family, none of the letting then run about till all hours creating havoc. Can always tell the British families, loud we into the evening.

The problem is that the parents get angry if you admonish their little darlings. I used to work in a bank and was amazed how many parents let their kids run riot, climb up on things etc. On the odd occasion I intervened - usually to prevent a nasty accident - the parents took it badly. That’s why staff don’t do anything!

Lots of families dont have space for dining tables!

We cannot always know if someone's child is autistic so assumptions about poor parenting are very unfair! My daughters were fine eating out which we did a lot but my smallest grandsons struggle with noise and bustle so family meals out are very rare!