Gransnet forums

AIBU

Charging family for Christmas lunch

(262 Posts)
Bridgeit Sat 04-Dec-21 19:34:52

If it is a specific & direct invitation with the proviso that everyone chips in , then that would seem to be reasonable, however if it is an unexpected invitation then a token bottle of wine or something of that ilk should be acceptable & mannerly. Best wishes .

LauraNorderr Sat 04-Dec-21 19:34:18

Never heard anything like it before. YANBU
Weird

lemongrove Sat 04-Dec-21 19:30:32

I would have turned down the invitation the minute I had found out it was a cash transaction.Not the money but the principle!

Chewbacca Sat 04-Dec-21 19:30:09

This has got to be a wind up surely? No one would seriously have the brass neck to charge people, that they've invited, to a Christmas lunch would they? If they have, I'd have to consider that, as the event is now a financial/business arrangement, and not simply a host/guest invitation, that all the formal Food Hygiene Regulations 2006 protocols are being followed, complete with a 5 star food hygiene award by the Food Standards agency. If they wanted me to pay, they'd have to earn it.

EthelJ Sat 04-Dec-21 19:29:18

I can't imagine ever inviting anyone over for a meal and charging them. If I couldn't afford to invite them I wouldn't
If I had to do anything at all I might ask them by to contribute a dish but only if they wanted to. I would never ask for cash!

Doodledog Sat 04-Dec-21 19:24:43

I agree that YANBU, and that it's a bloody cheek!

I see no harm in asking people to bring a bottle, but paying for an invitation is not on - you may as well go to a restaurant and order what you want to eat.

Mapleleaf Sat 04-Dec-21 19:21:41

Oh, I’ve declined. I just think it’s a blooming’ cheek, and wondered if that’s what other GN’s thought.

janeainsworth Sat 04-Dec-21 19:20:21

Great minds Grandmabatty.

janeainsworth Sat 04-Dec-21 19:19:35

Oh yes I’ve thought of a comment.
I’d politely decline the invitation.

Grandmabatty Sat 04-Dec-21 19:19:10

I have read a very similar post on Mumsnet. I would be saying, no thanks. I'll not bother coming.

janeainsworth Sat 04-Dec-21 19:18:28

YANBU.
I have no further comment!

Mapleleaf Sat 04-Dec-21 19:14:27

Now, is it just me, and this is the way things are done nowadays so I’m behind the times? Had invitation for Christmas lunch at a family members home, along with other family members, but the person doing the lunch requests all who would like to attend pay them x amount for the privilege, to cover the costs of the food and drink (this includes their parents having to pay, too).

Now, whenever I’ve hosted Christmas lunch, or other events, I’ve never asked the ones I invite to pay for the privilege of eating with me. Some have offered to bring something along - perhaps a dessert, some cheese, a bottle of wine, etc, which was welcome and kind- but this was never an expectation on my part, and I certainly wouldn’t have it as a condition of them being able to come, my view being that I was offering an invitation to join us for lunch or tea, not expecting them to pay or bring something as a condition for coming to it.

I will also add that the people asking for this donation have had, and continue to have, many things given to them without expectation of recompense, over the year, (every year) from many members of the family they are inviting. I think it’s especially poor that they are charging their parents, who always see them “alright” over the year.

Those invited also help with the preparation of the meal and the tidying up afterwards, plus they bring along “extras”.

The ones doing the inviting earn a high income between them - considerably more than those they are inviting to lunch (indeed, the majority are now on a low pension).

They also like to host a buffet and boozy get together on Boxing Day night for their friends and neighbours, using what’s left of the food and drink their family have paid for for their Christmas lunch, which I think is an incredible cheek (or is that just me?) - surely, if there were left overs, those invited for Christmas lunch should be having goody bags to take home left overs for which they have paid, not leaving it as a freebie for these friends and neighbours of the host.

Now, maybe I am being “bah, humbug”, but this charging doesn’t sit easily with me, although many family members have accepted the invitation with this charge (though not everyone).

So, am I being unreasonable to think this is not right, or am I completely old fashioned and behind the times? It’s just I thought such invitations to go to family for lunch were just that - invitations, with no provisos. Therefore, if you can’t afford to host a meal for extended family members, then you don’t offer to host one?