Mixed feelings.

Two weeks is well over what I could do when you’re in ‘ hosting’ mode. That’s’ living with ‘. Totally different. I’d go and do my own thing when I wanted if people moved in!

An added thought: I was a very young mum but since my DC waited until their 30s or even 40s to start their families, I can't help being older and less energetic than their own DG was and she is still about at 96 +
Not a level playing field

I believe I feel just as you do, Kirkubbin. I struggle to make a nice cooked lunch for my sons twice a week, and I feel very tired standing cooking. My sons well know that it makes me happy to be useful to them and feed them well when they visit me and , truth to tell, they do enjoy their lunches with me.

I know I will have to relinquish my independence and usefulness quite soon and will feel it as a loss. It is not a competition, Kirkubbin, and your loved ones will love you just the same when you can no longer be their active host.

In my case the "other" local granny is at least 10 years younger than me and does things with them that I am unable to do: hikes, trips round the shops etc. I have always done quieter things with them: reading, board games, craft etc. It is a nice balance.

When it comes to being here, I only have them for very short periods, e.g. pick them up from school and, give them tea. When the GC from away come, they stay with one of my local DDs as they have the space, and also it means the gang of cousins can play together, which they love.

In any event I cannot see myself coping with them staying, although of course in an emergency they would be welcomed.

I do find it very hard work when they are here - I love them all dearly, but they move too fast for me and make too much mess! I am on crutches at the moment and fear I might simply get knocked over!

So don't feel bad about finding it hard - we all do - we are getting older!

Two weeks is far too long. I’m with the “Visitors are like fish, after three days they stink” school.
My AC were here for just under a week and one night with DGD, that was enough, but not much trouble as they do cook and help out and I enjoyed the company. However if you are used to living alone, it’s unsettling.

Lovely to hear other people loving their children/grandchildren, but finding it too much to live with them even for a few days.

I was insistent, when I moved, that I had to have a TWO bedroom flat, so I could have overnight visitors. Must say I love it when a friend stays overnight, or just an adult child and partner. BUT could not face having any younger ones here all the time.

Being in seaside town, no problem with them putting up in B&B's, and think they probably prefer it.

I went to son's house on Wednesday to be with two young granddaughters while son and daughter-in-law worked. I sleep on the couch. They live about an hour and a half from us if there are no traffic jams. I brought them home with me Friday morning. We haven't had just the two of them here before without their parents or other cousins. We had a great time watching an old movie and then watched the New Year's Eve ball drop at 9:00 pm our time.
We had daughters two dogs here and the young Corgi slept with them. I have a lot of fun with them but DH was worn out even though he mostly enjoyed it. I drove them home on Saturday and had a strong cup of coffee before driving home. I fell asleep much earlier than usual that night. Daughter just picked up the two dogs so now it's just the two of us and our old dog. We won't be around any of them now until Omicron dies down. Good thing I'm an introverted homebody!

You have to do what suits you. Our families are always booked into the local hotel. I do miss seeing more of them. But this works better for everyone..

However Suedonim's idea sounds even better.

I'm never introverted with children thankfully but children are exhausting as well! I know I have 5 and my eldest staying for Christmas has somehow tripled the housework even with his younger brother staying away with his partner at the moment.

Two weeks is a long time. My lot don't stay with me anymore. I am a bit sad like you. I wish I was superwoman but I'm not
We stay together on holiday. A bit like SueDomin we shared a rented a house in France a few years ago, big enough for 3 families. The young ones did the cooking and we oldies entertained the DC in the pool or were up early to let the parents sleep.
I have had to accept that at least one other granny is more capable and younger than me.

Violetsky I too am quite introverted and find crowds a struggle. This year my DS and partner stayed in a hotel because of Covid rather than with us. At first I was disappointed but not having to cook was wonderful. Don't feel guilty. None of us are young any more and all that catering, cleaning, washing-up etc are behind us. We deserve our peace and relaxation.

SueDonim

I don’t yet find it as exhausting as you clearly do Kircubbin, but last summer when our holiday plans fell through I had five adults (inc one who was rather pregnant) and three children under seven staying.

I scratched my head about the logistics and then had a brainwave. I booked myself, along with my dh, into a local hotel and gave the ‘kids’ the run of the house! It worked a treat, we turned up in the morning after breakfast had been done and we left in the evening when things started to get fractious. .

I’ll admit that I still did a lot of clearing up (what on earth were they doing overnight, when I’d left the kitchen spotless at 10:30pm but it was a tip again by 10:30am next morning!) but they took on the catering side, planning meals etc. It made it much easier although it was also nice to close the door on the last of them when they left.

What a brilliant idea! I'll hold that one in reserve for if I ever need it.

Brilliant idea DerbyshireLass, well worth remembering! There's a Travel Lodge near me that would be ideal.

Worth every penny, Derbyshirelass.

Don't feel bad, 2 weeks is a lot!

Maybe you should think about how long would work for you, take control and invite them for that amount of time so that you don't feel left out by them trying not to impose.

I'm quite introverted and find social things exhausting, always have.

Sue....that's is a genius idea. I might pinch that one day.

I don’t yet find it as exhausting as you clearly do Kircubbin, but last summer when our holiday plans fell through I had five adults (inc one who was rather pregnant) and three children under seven staying.

I scratched my head about the logistics and then had a brainwave. I booked myself, along with my dh, into a local hotel and gave the ‘kids’ the run of the house! It worked a treat, we turned up in the morning after breakfast had been done and we left in the evening when things started to get fractious. .

I’ll admit that I still did a lot of clearing up (what on earth were they doing overnight, when I’d left the kitchen spotless at 10:30pm but it was a tip again by 10:30am next morning!) but they took on the catering side, planning meals etc. It made it much easier although it was also nice to close the door on the last of them when they left.

Other granny may well be wishing she were you kircubbin she may be in an exhausted heap.
You are who you are and do your best, they’re still coming to see you, at your pace, great!

Don’t feel guilty at all.

After a disastrous summer break where Mil completely lost it with 3 under 10 year olds, we thereafter stayed in the equivalent of a Travelodge and visited throughout the stay.

The result was happy relaxed holidays for everyone that we all enjoyed ? That’s what they remember. How different it would have been if we’d all kept soldiering on?

Thanks Baggs, I've got used to having my house to myself for the last 2 years but I always compare myself with other people. It's a bad habit.

I can really empathise with you having spent a difficult day at my daughters home with the grandchildren. It was a day of squabbling ,whining and general disruptive behaviour. Initially I looked after the 6 year old grandson for a couple of hours whilst mum took 4 year old granddaughter to a party. We played games and football in the garden and he was lovely. As soon as they returned it seemed to start conflict. Lots of attention seeking behaviour and physical aggression. Tears soon followed.
I feel guilty ,and tired. I had looked after both of them when they were tiny bit now find it exhausting and was relieved to go home in the evening.
Maybe my age and health is affecting my tolerance and stamina.
It's sad to feel like this,as I really do love them both.

Don't feel guilty, kircubbin. You're allowed to have limits. Also, don't judge yourself against other people such as "other granny". You are you, not "other granny" and you don't have to be the same or be able to cope with the same things.

I hope you enjoy what you see of "your crowd" this time round without finding it all exhausting. Go easy on yourself