Another anniversary forgotten !

I never remember anniversaries and have never celebrated them. I know I’m loved and usually appreciated!!
I don’t need a card to tell me what we have.
Don’t set store by things that will probably not happen. It’s asking for disappointment.

Have a talk with your husband. Ask him if he prefers for you to make arrangements instead of pressure on him. My husband Loves that I put out a Stack of Recycled Cards every Year. I put them all over the house. He tells me he loves me everyday. We talk about what we want to do for our Anniversary. He likes that I don't Nag him if he forgets. I have also Forgotten. LOL

My OH used to remember all these things, but wander about huffing and puffing about what he could get me! I used to tell him that if it is that much trouble then don't bother!

He solved it in the end by opening an account with a flower company and sending me flowers each time - phew, agonising solved!

I don’t attach any particular significance to our wedding anniversary, we’ve been together since I was twenty and my husband twenty one, and known him since I was sixteen.
I can’t see why one day is any more special than any other day.

Sara1954

I don’t attach any particular significance to our wedding anniversary, we’ve been together since I was twenty and my husband twenty one, and known him since I was sixteen.
I can’t see why one day is any more special than any other day.

Well, I think to celebrate the anniversary of your wedding day is a wonderful thing. To dismiss it as no more special than any other day is sad! Of course it’s special. It’s the day you made that extra commitment. Birthdays are important too. OH has to be gently reminded of various dates, including the children’s birthdays! But, he has always realised the importance of special dates and is happy to celebrate them.

Ladyleftfieldlover
It’s nice that you get some pleasure from your special days, but for me, I just don’t feel they are any more important than any other day.
I love flowers and I will happily buy them for myself, if on the odd occasion that he’s remembered and bought some, I’m grateful, but not at all bothered about all the other times he forgets.

We have been married for 55 years, in fact I can't even remember the date or month we tied the knot, I would need to look it up! After all these years I don't need a piece of folded cardboard nor would I be upset not to have one. We show that we care about each other in lots of little ways all through the year, the fact we are still together after 55 years of rows being one of them....

Smudgie
Me feelings exactly

My feelings!

vickymeldrew

Well, I’m sitting here waiting for my husband to remember our wedding anniversary. Every year he forgets unless I (or our daughter) have reminded him very recently. I am truly very low-key over birthdays, christmas etc but AIBU to be somewhat fed up with my husband’s lack of thought?
With me, it is truly ‘the thought that counts’ and I don’t want gifts or cards, just him to remember the day .
Just before Christmas he starts huffing and puffing about not knowing what to buy me for Christmas and what a problem it is. He usually gets me a Chocolate Orange or a box of After Eights. That’s fine, but I wish he wouldn’t complain about having to shop for them.
I arranged a family lunch on our Golden Wedding three years ago and he didn’t buy me a gift at all. Said he was ‘too busy’.
I know it’s not important in the scheme of things, but I’m just feeling a bit unappreciated.

He sounds a miserable sod and no, you are not being unreasonable.

I think remembering dates for milestones is a way of bringing extra joy into our lives.

Each to their own of course but the day DH and I got married is a huge thing to celebrate. We have had a great life (mostly!!) since that day and it marks the start of our joint journey.

I think you should remind him, he obviously just doesn't get it and you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

I think you should also tell him what you would like for a present.

I understand, it sucks, you would like him to remember these special days and show you what you mean to him but he doesn't remember and he finds this all stressful and aggravating.

Ask yourself, how else does he show you he loves you? Is he a good husband? Does he make you happy otherwise? If he does, I think you can let this failing of his go and take responsibility for making these days special for you.

Making these days special for you doesn't even have to involve him. Book yourself a massage or a haircut on the next one

I must have Avery good husband he always remembers birthdays and wa. And even if we have the odd argument he’s not too bad at all. I would really feel for you about this and also I would go out and buy myself something really nice and expensive treat yourself.

Some men can be so selfish. As has been suggested above, I’d start “forgetting things” too. Try it! See if there’s a reaction.

When I was working in London I saw a man carrying an unmistakeable little Tiffany bag. I felt such a pang of jealousy. However who's to say the gift wasn't for his mistress? I would rather have a man I can trust who looks after me every day but doesn't do gifts and romantic gestures than one I couldn't trust who remembered all the anniversaries (or perhaps his secretary did) and showered me with flowers and gifts. At the end of the day it's the little everyday things that count.

Am I some kind of a freak? The first things I put in my new diary every year are our wedding anniversary, Valentine's Day (not one to abbreviate), and the birthdays of DW, DDs and their partners, and DGCs, and even one cousin close to me in age. Every one is an excuse for some kind of celebration, and we were genuinely sorry last year when Covid and other medical issues knocked out get-togethers on three birthdays and at Christmas.

Come on, other husbands. Make an effort!

I think I would be more concerned about all the fuss he makes about buying you a Chocolate Otange or After Eights. Pretty pathetic really!!

Early in our marriage, OH had forgotten our anniversary. I kept quiet all day, waiting on a 'surprise' gift or dinner maybe.
I didn't give him his card.
By 8pm I was so annoyed I stormed out to local Spar and bought large bunch of flowers.
He 'got' the message when I arrived back, and never forgot again!
We're heading to our 40th now so I'm glad I established the ground rules early on!

Have you bought him anything?

Why is it up to the husband to remember these things? Surely the OP knows by now he is not going to do so. Just mention it and communicate what you want, if you have to do that every year so be it.

Dickens

I don't think you are being unreasonable, but you are being a bit naive to believe he's going to change after all these years.

I don't think men regard anniversaries in the same light as women, it just doesn't appear to be that important to many of them and if the 'thought' isn't there, then it isn't there, little you can do about it. If they have to be cajoled, prodded / reminded - what's the point?

My partner doesn't remember our anniversary - and TBH, I sometimes forget it, too. But he does sometimes reminisce about when we met and how he felt, and that's good enough for me. I matter to him, and that's what counts.

If your husband is kind and considerate in other ways, I'd just give up on the anniversary thing and appreciate what you've got.

Yes, I agree.
Tell him what sort of present you would like for a birthday or Christmas, that way you won’t be disappointed.Make a wish list on Amazon for him to choose from.
Two years ago ( almost) we had to just forget about golden wedding arrangements, and I was happy enough with a lovely card from him ( I didn’t need or want presents from him or anyone in the family.)
Men do need a bit of a prod in the back regards birthdays and anniversaries at times.After 50 years these things don’t really matter anyway.If you have a good DH then that’s enough.

grumppa

Am I some kind of a freak? The first things I put in my new diary every year are our wedding anniversary, Valentine's Day (not one to abbreviate), and the birthdays of DW, DDs and their partners, and DGCs, and even one cousin close to me in age. Every one is an excuse for some kind of celebration, and we were genuinely sorry last year when Covid and other medical issues knocked out get-togethers on three birthdays and at Christmas.

Come on, other husbands. Make an effort!

If you are a man, then I don’t know about a freak but you are quite unusual! ?

No perfectly normal grumppa.

My DH has no idea when relatives birthdays are ( other than our own children.) Neither has he ever sent a birthday card or Christmas card to anyone but me. Friends report the same thing with their DH’s, it seems that once married they leave all
‘That sort of thing’?to their wives.
A gold medal for grumppa ?

My OH doesn't buy cards ,any kind of cards he thinks they are a waste of money but he does buy presents and on our anniversary every year we go to the church where we were married and stand at the altar .Well every year except the past two when the church was locked because of the pandemic but got to the door .
To be honest I'm a present giver ,often too extravagant but always something he likes/wants.I'm not bothered about getting presents if I want something I buy it .I even tell my kids no presents for me please and now and then they listen.I'd rather they spent their money on their young families and as long as I see them ,which I do most days ,I'm happy .

Hmmmmm, tricky 1 because Mr S forgets and i have no right to complain because i do too some years and then i remember other years, if truth be known its no biggie, thats my take on the matter.

I agree with you on the huffin and puffin lark, i would be like I'd sooner do without the box of chocolates than listen to THAT racket all day.

I was going to rattle on about Valentines Day but here is not the place to moan about that load of tripe hahahahahaha.