Difficult Neighbour Causing Me Distress

Some really good advice but could I also suggest talking to Victim Support if you have a local scheme, they can be very helpful for not only talking things through with but often they can advise on home security options.

While I have every sympathy with those who are mentally unwell, it's also really important to remember your own safety and wellbeing too - it's interesting that this person only appears to target women!

Stay safe

Do you own your property? If you rent from a housing association or local authority then you should complain to them about your neighbour’s behaviour. Perhaps you can get your female neighbours to do the same, which would add weight to your complaint.

Very good advice on here to protect yourself Absentgrandmother. I have learned that bully's understand another language and that standing up to them is vital. When I drummed up the courage to do so the person changed in front of my eyes and said, "Oh, I just wanted to know we could talk" Reading up on neuro- linguistics, I find that some people make sense of their world by pushing on people, things, etc. Needless to say, they are perceived as difficult.

get dash cams back and front in your car.
are you in a block or group of houses with communal entry or gardens.
report to local authority anti-social behaviour unit.
also police as harassment of vulnerable person.
good luck.

Just to add, you have no obligation to open your front door just because someone knocks or rings the bell. Some people seem to think they have to

I feel no obligation to open the door to casual callers and have a stern notice on my door to that effect. I only open for agreed appointments and deliveries. That also applies to neighbours because my NDN is a whinger. Knocking on someones door without notice (in these days of universal mobiles and texting) is really quite arrogant. You are demanding that someone drop what they are doing and attend to you.

I have more than done my duty to the community and I was not put on the earch to service casual visitors.

Jerseygirl My deep down view is that it is some kind of mental health issue. There are supposed to be Laws on Elder Abuse here too but I have not seen anything to show that they are observed.

Daisend1 I can not install anything here on the common parts I have ordered a camera for the window facing the parking area

It would be wise to install an alarm and camera.You then have proof should problems occur .

Sounds like he has a Mental Issue. Do you have a Community Advisor or ask a Mental health Worker. In America we have Laws on Elder Abuse. We contact local Police. This needs to be Reported. Or this man will continue to harass you & others.

Namsnanny I dont know if there is a neighbourhood forum but I could try looking on Facebook.

I have emailed an age related mental health group to see what they suggest.

My neighbour has been here for about 8 years and she says he is a bully

The first half of my post was to Chestnut - I foolishly missed out your name.

Out of interest, did your neighbours behaviour change as a result of you having cameras installed?
Absentgrandmother is there a neighbourhood forum on line you could read, to see if anyone has posted relevant info?

Thanks Chestnut.I rarely respond to the buzzer unless I am expecting someone. I came here after years of abuse to find some peace and this is what I ended up with. I am quite cautious in what I do. If I was threatened or felt very scared I would call 999.

Its second nature isnt it Chestnut

Just to add, you have no obligation to open your front door just because someone knocks or rings the bell. Some people seem to think they have to!

You are perfectly safe if you don't open your front door. I really don't understand people opening their front door when they have no idea who is there.

OW The neighbour I am closest to in terms of friendship is still working so away from here from early morning until early evening. She has had the raw edge of this man since she moved here about 8 years ago. Another female neighbour seems to comply with what he tries to dictate and will not cross him. A younger lady in her 20s moved away recently and the woman who replaced her seems to be "able" He is certainly coming across as cowardly but I hesitate to change my thoughts on this being an age related mental health issue

What about other neighbours? Could you ask if you could ring them when you get scared and perhaps they would check for you. If he is targeting lone females he is most likely a coward and could back off if he thought another man may confront him.

This neighbour is being even stranger now. Yesterday and today my Intercom has buzzed when the postman has been in the area. The postman has his own method of entry and does not buzz for entry. Yesterday I answered the buzzer and could hear a male talking and swearing. Today I ignored the buzzer and saw that the postman was further down the street. No unknown cars visiting the area at the time.
I am feeling a bit nervy now and will be seeing if there is anyone other than PCSO to contact. This is awful

I was going to suggest a Ring doorbell and camera. We find ours invaluable. Easy to install and set up the app on your phone or ipad so you can view footage. We also bought the plug in chimes - one upstairs and one down. They’re really useful in that you can set them to give a gentle ‘tinkle’ when the camera detects movement, so you’re alerted to it. If you have Amazon Echo you can connect Ring to that too and there are more security features available including being able to view whoever is at the door and being able to talk to them via Alexa.

Absentgrandmother

Thanks everyone

I have been on Amazon and ordered a camera which should connect to my phone. If I cant technically do it I will have it connected by someone who can do it.

Find out how to save the footage. Keep anything relevant for building up a case if necessary. With ours we have to start and end at the precise time (hrs, mins, secs) to keep the footage required.

Thanks everyone

I have been on Amazon and ordered a camera which should connect to my phone. If I cant technically do it I will have it connected by someone who can do it.

CCTV may well be a great help here I am no technical person but my daughter has cameras on the front of her house if she is not at home she can see who is coming close to her front as it flashes a recording to her phone so she can see who is visiting delivering ect

A CCTV camera is essential as it will be your eyes for you when you're not around. Our was installed because of a nasty neighbour and it helped us to keep a close eye on her. The footage can be used as evidence so keep track of anything relevant.

I think getting a camera should be high on your list of priorities

Good luck

What an awful neighbour - he needs to be taken to task ?