Filthy House SOS - TV Programme

My brother has MH issues and is a hoarder. The last time I was in my mum's house before she died, I was so horrified about the conditions she was living in I contacted social services.

My brother has never forgiven me, and not spoken to me since.
He didn't tell me my mum had been admitted to hospital and when she died 4 days later, he got my cousin to 'phone me to break the news.

I'm sure anyone meeting my brother, a very intelligent man, would think he both physically and mentally capable of cleaning his house, but as we all know, appearances can be deceptive.

Callistemon21

Well, I've been having a good clear out of old paperwork. Two bags went this morning.
Now DH has just asked me for the instructions for his digital clock/temperature/moon phase thingy.

You can often find instructions manuals online these days, if you DH is really struggling.

My house is a mess at the moment and guess what? I'm depressed. I do wonder why the people I live with aren't cleaning it up better though (I am running a hoover round and light clea ning/washing etc but it is much more untidier than it was say 6 months ago

I think there are hoarders and there are people who don't clean but don't hoard. I used to love Kim & Aggie who whizzed around and gave cleaning tips, but even then I was shocked to see black toilet pans, thick grease on cooker tops and people with dog poo in the corridor (why not pick it up?)

When the hoarding programmes came along I was even more shocked, I had no idea people lived like that. But I do agree that anyone living in filth and clutter like that has some kind of mental problem. Usually they have a life crisis that sets them off and eventually it all gets too much for them. I don't think it's exploiting them, as they are usually very happy to get the place cleaned up.

I seem to remember reading about some honey that was found in a 3000 year old Egyptian tomb.
Apparently it had turned black but was still quite safely edible.

Yes, I was thinking of that as I posted, Witzend
I'm sure DH would have tasted it but I wouldn't give it to a grandchild!

argymargy

Callistemon21

They have just found some lemon juice that is five years out of date. Sounds like my cupboard!!!

I found a squeezy bottle of golden syrup dated 2017 the other day.
It would probably have been ok but I didn't want to risk it.

Golden syrup is sugar. Sugar is a preservative. As grandparents surely we remember the time before dates were put on everything, including preservatives (salt, sugar)? Genuine question- what did you think you were risking?

I seem to remember reading about some honey that was found in a 3000 year old Egyptian tomb.
Apparently it had turned black but was still quite safely edible.

The only thing out of date things I remember chucking recently, were 2 jars of black cherries - passed to us by a widowed friend with sundry other store-cupboard stuff when we were helping her clear the house before she moved back to her native country.

I dare say they wouldn’t have killed us, but were clearly well past their best - so that was the clafoutis I’d planned down the drain. ?

Anyone remember Mr Rebus? The programme about him must have been the first of this type. Such a sad case

argymargy

Callistemon21

They have just found some lemon juice that is five years out of date. Sounds like my cupboard!!!

I found a squeezy bottle of golden syrup dated 2017 the other day.
It would probably have been ok but I didn't want to risk it.

Golden syrup is sugar. Sugar is a preservative. As grandparents surely we remember the time before dates were put on everything, including preservatives (salt, sugar)? Genuine question- what did you think you were risking?

I do know all that and would normally have used it but I was baking with a DGC so didn't want to take any risk at all even if there was none!!

I am a hoarder but I could not live in a house stacked full of items or have the house so filthy and never do anything about it.

I do not like cleaning houses so luckily I can employ somebody to do it but I could do it if necessary.

I would not have the brass neck to have a film crew in and show everybody the filth and squalor in which I lived, no matter how much I was being paid.

Callistemon21

^They have just found some lemon juice that is five years out of date. Sounds like my cupboard!!!^

I found a squeezy bottle of golden syrup dated 2017 the other day.
It would probably have been ok but I didn't want to risk it.

Golden syrup is sugar. Sugar is a preservative. As grandparents surely we remember the time before dates were put on everything, including preservatives (salt, sugar)? Genuine question- what did you think you were risking?

M0nica, yes, I know a hoarder (never been in her house, though she's described it and shown photos). She knows she's mentally unwell.

She spends most of her time outdoors, all day, every day, and takes antidepressants. She calls herself 'the human hamster'. I doubt that any intervention would help her.

Still, there's the 'other' sort. Another friend is just full of excuses, 'can't be bothered' with most things - and is downright lazy (although very amusing).

She's totally self-obsessed, spends her time on every possible treatment for improving her (very plain) looks, believes she's 'a princess' - and expects others to help her without question.

Alarmingly, she believes she's young and beautiful - won't have her photo taken - so maybe some sort of undiagnosed denial personality disorder?

Hoarding is now recognised as a mental illness. As several people have mentioned, this has been brought up in other programmes.

Sometime ago there was a programme called 'The Hoarder next door' and the programme as wrapped round a therapist who worked with hoarders to help them deal with and dispose of their own hoard, no cleaners came in, they did the work themselves. It was clear in all the cases in this series that all those taking part did have mental issues - and in two cases it was not hidden by the programme that the hoarder was not helped by the intervention, their problem was too deeply embedded.

I don't want to watch these programmes. Having been in considerable pain with my back today, I've forced myself to carry on with all the 'light duty' things I'm capable of - carefully timing the tasks with my painkillers.

It seems that the lazy ones, with houses and gardens full of filth and rubbish, get free help to make it all clean and organised!

Talking of out of date stuff, I was making a lasagne for some friends who were coming to stay. Found in the cupboard two packets of pasta sheets, one was out of date by well over 4 years. So I put it on the side to throw out and carried on making up the lasagne. Later found out I had used the out of date pasta sheets but we are all well and alive.

I fixed it! It just needed a bit of patience.
Sadly lacking in some.

Callistemon21

Well, I've been having a good clear out of old paperwork. Two bags went this morning.
Now DH has just asked me for the instructions for his digital clock/temperature/moon phase thingy.

That never fails, does it?

I was finally persuaded to get rid of a pile of old plates a while ago. Guess what my daughter rang the next day to ask for, because she was having a party?

I would imagine there are much deeper issues than simply being too lazy.
I would have thought it was fairly obvious that people don't actively choose to live that way.

Usually, there is some traumatic event that has sparked off the issue.

I am the same as you GrandtanteJE65 I hate gardening but my house is always very clean and tidy. As much as it can be with 2 dogs, a cat and a husband who doesn't throw anything away. Our garden is not attached to the house so fortunately I don't have to look at it.

Well, I've been having a good clear out of old paperwork. Two bags went this morning.
Now DH has just asked me for the instructions for his digital clock/temperature/moon phase thingy.

I am sure nobody plans to live like that, maybe she became overwhelmed and didn’t know where to start, I haven’t seen the programme.

The participants get a clean house and I assume a payment, viewers like yourself watch it so it is good for the tv channel, I don't see that it is a problem for anyone else.

They have just found some lemon juice that is five years out of date. Sounds like my cupboard!!!

I found a squeezy bottle of golden syrup dated 2017 the other day.
It would probably have been ok but I didn't want to risk it.

Both of the programmes about hoarders and the filthy ones I would love to see followed up in a year's time to see if they have just fallen back into their slovenly ways!
Admittedly there have been a few of the householders have health issues that has meant that they struggle with housework but others really have MH problems that mean they are unable to either stop buying things or throw anything away - I often wonder if they had parents like mine, brought up in the 1930s where most things were re used several times that starts the hoarding, or the compulsive buying began because a lot of things they wished they had when children were unaffordable for their parents, so the urge to splash out is their way of dealing with it because they can !

I have a friend who lives in utter chaos. Nobody is allowed in.

Last time I made it in due to a minor emergency I was rather shocked, and I'm no domestic goddess either.

I sometimes wonder if I should call social services or the fire brigade. If there was a fire she'd never make it out.

She has a bizarre phobia of other people's dirt. She is fine living in her own dirt but can't cope if someone comes in.

Away from the house she's fine. Well turned out. You'd never know .

Someone asked her if she'd be up for one of these clean up shows and she thought it a fabulous idea apart from the fact she'd never be able to go back inside due to the clean up people having been in her home.

I don't think you are being quite fair here, you know.

Some of the hoarders have apparently been advised to let others in to clean and publicize the problem to create awareness of it as a mental disability.

The lady with the dirty house apparently has a well kept garden. So she likes gardening and "can't be bothered with" housework.

I am her opposite - I detest gardening, so by any avid gardener's standard our garden is a mess.

I like housework, so my tea towels are ironed and folded, windows cleaned regularly and floors hoovered and washed.

A chacun ou chacunne son goût!

I think a lot of the hoarders have MH issues.