Eating out paying the bill

If intending to “share” the costs, I’m always happier paying for what I have consumed, not half the bill.
The first time this happened, I was outraged when I chose modest dishes, drank very little and one woman ate lobster and had expensive cocktails! Never again.

I would suggest next time lunch out is mentioned simply say you will pay for what you have to be fair. That way you can still enjoy lunch out well within your budget.

Over the years I’ve come to notice that the ‘penny pinchers’ could buy and sell me! I think people are either savers or spenders and the ‘savers’ are very aware what they are spending - even on themselves - and like ‘value for money’!

Seperate bills.. no resentment.. no guilt.. eat and drink what you like.

I’m surprised he hasn’t already insisted on either asking for two bills or suggesting that he pays more of the joint bill.
He must surely be well aware that as he eats and drinks a lot more than you, it’s only fair that he pays more.

Generally I am more in favour of just splitting the bill equally between everyone but when there are only two of you in the situation you have described then fairness wins every time.

God, I hate it when people pick over a bill and moan because they didn't have a dessert or whatever. If you find it too expensive to split the bill, suggest somewhere cheaper when it is your turn to choose where you go.

Pudding123 - I have a similar situation. My BF orders fillet steak everywhere, it’s all she’ll eat when we’re out (luckily not often). I only eat fish and often the most expensive fish dish is only half the cost of her steak. We always just split the bill, but once, when other friends joined us, she put £10 in first, then we split the rest of the bill between us.

That's a good way to deal with awkward questions nandad!

Agree with VioletSky, no discussion necessary. If he does question it just say something along the lines of ‘it means we can both order what we want without feeling guilty’.

I am always in favour of saying if there is a problem. There isin this case, he is a good friend, he should understand. If he doesn't, he is not much of a friend.

It's good manners to be aware of any disparities in your favour when splitting a bill and offer to pay the difference - fortunately my friends are all of a like mind.

I can't be doing with freeloaders, nor penny-pinchers who notice tiny differences - it's a fine balance!

When they come to take your order, ask for separate bills.

That way both of you will only pay for what you eat/drink.

Also it will prevent even needing to have a conversation about it, just "separate bills please" with a smile

It is a really funny one isn't it?I have a friend who I had k own for over 40 years but when we go out at lunch she drinks to excess and the cost of her alcohol is about £15 more but we always split the bill because I would feel like a miser if I didn't I must admit it gets annoying and I tend to make excuses so I don't see her so often.

He eats more! Then in that case, he can pay more.

Job done.....

Most restaurants, bars, etc are quite happy with splitting bills by person, so everybody pays just for what they ordered, plus all putting in small amount for a tip. It has never been a problem even when eating with a large group of people.

I’d carry on splitting but explain to him and choose somewhere less pricey.

I quite like these gastro pubs or carveries where you go to the bar yourself and order and pay there and then. The youngsters seem to do this - don't buy rounds, just go to the bar and buy your own

He must have been aware that his share of the bill was a lot more than yours.
This happened when I went a friend and I agreed to pay halves but she had wine and dessert but insisted on paying for that herself.

But this is the third time you have been out, did he eat a lot more when it was your turn to pay?
Or does he always eat and drink more than you do?
Either way, I would suggest you just pay for your own, it shouldn't be too difficult to split a bill if you tell the staff that it’s 2 separate bills when you order.
Don’t suggest (ever again) that you split the bill in half.

Yes, just ask for separate bills, makes life easier.

Blimey - I would be suggesting a picnic in the park next time - £35 would feed me for a week, never mind one lunch.

Seriously - I think it's selfish to eat so much more than your companion and not offer to pay more than half

Go somewhere inexpensive? You should explain to your friend your situation. If he's a real friend, he'll understand.

That is the risk of splitting the bill, not paying for equal value.

He's a friend. At the next opportune moment, tell him you simply can't afford it. I'm very sympathetic to your quandry but truth will enhance your pleasure of the outings rather than have them tinged with worry or, at worst, having to cancel them altogether. Good luck ?

In that case the gentleman should definitely work out his share of the bill.
I'm all for splitting bills, but not when there's a, significant difference between what people have had.