children left home alone

Do we know that there is nobody at all in contact with this young person? No friend's mum, no friendly neighbour?
Do we know how far away the mum is and how easy to get back? Do we know if the young person has maybe got a friend staying?

Does the mum know Howverydareyou is herself keeping an eye on him?

Just wondering.

It’s a tough world for a single parent trying to hold down a job and parent a child. What do you suggest the Mum should do? Refuse to go away for work and risk losing her job? Pay money that she can’t afford to someone to mind the boy, who, it appears, can manage perfectly well on his own? In past generations, 14 year olds had full time jobs. One wonders how the human race survived.

Yes, some kids of that age are a bit silly or downright troublesome. But many are sensible, responsible, and can be trusted to care for themselves. Unless the OP is willing to offer free childcare to the family, I suggest s/he stop tut-tutting and let the family sort out their own arrangements.

If you know them could you perhaps check up on the lad?

Doodledog I know the family. I've acted on my concerns.

Too young in my opinion, I would never have left any of mine at fourteen.
We have recently started leaving our oldest granddaughter who is twelve for an odd morning, and she’s very sensible.
But it’s not really about being sensible, if the unexpected happened, they would be unlikely to know how to deal with it, however sensible they are.
I would also feel really sad for my child being left alone for four days.

I think it depends on the individual.
Some 14 year olds are very sensible,then some are 14 coming on 4.
He sounds like a sensible young man to me.

I agree that it depends on the child.

If you can marry (and presumably run a house) at 16, it seems bonkers to say that you are too young at 14 to be alone for a few days, but I must admit I wouldn't have left mine at that age, unless there was no alternative, which as others have said, may be the case.

How well do you know the family, OP? Could you offer to help if this happens in future? Even having a phone number of someone local to ring if necessary might be reassuring for both the boy and his mum.

No I wouldn’t definitely wouldn’t leave a 14 year old alone however competent they were there is no telling if there could be a emergency a 16 year old maybe one night even then I personally wouldn’t want to be away 4 days and you do say ‘only just’ 14
So not for me I would never do that

Do you know all the details? Is someone checking up on them, is a neighbour aware and available if needed? Is the child ok about it and would rather that than go somewhere else?

Fourteen is very young to be left alone for four days - I'm sure he'll be OK if he's the sensible type. At least he's at school so shouldn't get too lonely.

I feel sad for mum and son that they had no one, friend, relative or neighbour to help out.

I hope mum has some strategies in place for any future work trips. I wonder what happens to the boy in the long school holidays.

No legal age but if anything goes wrong not only could there be a tragedy but the mum could be prosecuted for neglect. And if Children’s Services are made aware the young person could potentially be placed in foster care and care proceedings initiated. I suspect that if the school become aware a referral will be made, as CassieJ said above. This could open a real can of worms.

Hmmm. That's about the age I started to leave mine alone as we had to tend to my MiL in London. (Sometimes, it was just my husband who went, though I did sometimes accompany him to give extra help).
BUT, we were lucky enough that we had a lovely neighbour who was there if they needed help, and my DDs BFFs parents were along the road!!
We kept in touch via phone, and had there been a problem I'd have been on the first train back. (Around 77 miles away).

There is no legal age but NSPCC suggests 16 but depends on the child. If they are trustworthy, are not likely to be scared or do something like leave a burner on and they have details of how to contact an adult then it is not against the law.

Far to young to be left on their own. If there were a couple of older reliable siblings around that would be OK. But in this case, and if it was a necessary work trip, I would be seeing if she could stay with a friend.

Depends on the individual

They are all different, so it's impossible to say whether a child of 14 can be left alone for 4 days. If he has been alone before and acted sensibly and can cope with it then it could be okay. But boys tend to be less mature than girls so who knows. It depends on the boy. He definitely needs to know what to do if there's a fire. They don't recommend extinguishers now, but a fire blanket is advised. He may have to evacuate the premises and call on a neighbour if it gets out of hand.

I think 14 is too young to be left overnight. I know all mine were more than capable of cooking meals and using the washing machine at that age. During the day is fine, and even minding a younger siblings for a while would be ok. But being totally on their own for several days isn't OK.

We left our eldest two aged 18 and 16 while we took the little ones for a weeks seaside holiday. They did have other relatives and the next door neighbours to call on if needed.

As others have said, it depends how mature the child is.

I thought 14 was the official age for being able to babysit.

My parents went on holiday for a week when I was 16 and I was perfectly fine.

On the other hand, my DH's ex left her son (my DH's step-son) on his own for a week when he was 16 and the police ended up being called. He was a bit wild and we didn't know anything about it at the time as we didn't live close by.

Crossed posts AGA and how kind of you to point out the difficulty for the poor Mum. I admit I hadn’t thought about that.

I have three 15 year old granddaughters and one eighteen year old grandson. There is only one of them that is mature and capable enough to be left alone overnight and it’s not the eldest.
It depends on the confidence, maturity. and ability of the child.

Some 14 year olds are mature for their age and others aren't.
How hard for the poor mum who had nobody to help her and possibly lose her job if she didn't go.
I wouldn't have left any of my children alone for four days but then I had plenty of people who would have helped.

Sixteen is when a child gets to decide if they want to see estranged parents after break up divorce etc. I think it is sixteen old enough to decide to stay on at school etc.

Perhaps I'm old-fashioned, but my own were never left alone until the eldest was 19, the younger one was then 16.

I'm going to keep an eye on things.

There is no legal age to leave a child on their own.

At 14 I would say they are okay for a whole day on their own, but not to go away and leave them to their own devices.
The school could report to social services if they find out he is on his own.

I may be wrong but I thought legally you shouldnt leave a child alone overnight when they are under 16.