School reports

Blimey.
The child will be having a work interview and people will still be popping up to say how unreasonable grandma70 is!

TBF DoNotDisturb Grandma70s has never suggested that the way her parents did things makes it law or that she has any right to see her GS's school report.

I cannot remember any of my children's school reports saying anything we didn't already know or had not discussed at a parents evening.

Good grief Grandma70s, don't be so sensitive!!!! It's up to your sons and GC whether they want to show you their reports or not, and really - so what? You know from your son how GS is doing, do you really need to see it in writing?
I've seen some of my GC's reports, and I get general feedback from DD about how they are doing, that's good enough for me.
Just because you and your parents did things a certain way, doesn't make it LAW! Just get over it, and enjoy talking about other things with your GC, and if they choose to share stuff about school then great, if not, that is their right.

How did you get on? Did you get an explanation you were happy with?

Grandparents usually have the advantage of experience of life and can take the “long view”. Parents can be very dismayed at a negative school report for their child but in an ideal world they can share and discuss their concerns with the grandparent/s . I have 5 gc ranging from 23 - 7 yrs, lots of issues over the years as one would expect. I wouldn’t expect to read a school report but would help/advise if the parent asked. This may be easier for me having 3 daughters - we share everything, but I know their partners would not, lol one is a head teacher anyway!

My grandfather once offered me a shilling if I ever got a report that didn’t say I was a chatterbox, I never got the shilling.

Come to think of it, that shows he saw my reports, which were on paper in those days. My grandchildren’s reports are online.

My daughter read all the report aloud the other day. I collected the report so was there at the time but I regard it as a lovely gesture not a right. I’ve now promised to buy a good report pressie.

Reports are just an impression. I've received a report that said my child was slightly above average in a subject. Eventually it was identified that this child had a serious learning disability and had learned to disguise it to save face at school. Teachers had no clue. It was only when the child talked to me about their distress in the subject that I identified what was going on and set about getting official diagnosis and confirmation.

My early school reports often said I didn't make an effort, leading to telling off by parents. I became immune to that. I was actually gifted and bored. I enjoyed high school more and topped classes then.

Talk to the child and hear their thoughts. It will tell you a lot more than a school report.

Whoever Mallin’s comment was aimed at it was unnecessarily rude.

Agreed, rafichagran

Mallin

Gawd! Interfering old bat.

What a nasty, unnecessary comment, everyone else has managed to put their opinions politely.

Mallin if that was aimed at me would you care to explain what part of me is interfering?

I'd never ask to see school reports that are not of my own children.

I read Grandmothers response and have empathy.
Not easy when the children are in the wrong academic setting. The child’s needs must be met. I’m against Grammar schools for this reason.
Hope it works out for all concerned.

Glad that you've seen and spoken to your son Grandma70s and feel happier about it now.

It's understandable that having always see your GS's school reports, you would wonder why this one wasn't passed on and I think you did the right thing, saying you didn't want to see it when your son made the offer later.

Families do things differently and just because other GP's never see their GC's school reports, doesn't mean it's wrong if others do.

Gawd! Interfering old bat.

Guess we're a weird family then.
We all go on holiday together too but I expect that will change when the GC want to go away with friends.

The 13 year old should have a large say in who sees their school report. I’d never assume I’d see my grandchildren’s school reports. Ours are primary and pre school and their parents sometimes put the reports on our family WhatsApp group. I’d never expect this but it’s kind to share them. As the move into top juniors or high school, id respect the wishes of the children and their parents

My proud daughter shared younger granddaughter’s outstanding school report. I praised it etc but didn’t ask after the older one’s report.

That was auto not me Kacee sorry

Shock horror indeed Kate!!

By the way none of the actions are forced on any of us. We choose to see how we all are.

The most important thing is to love and be supportive of your son. I have two married sons who each have two children. It never occurred to me to see report cards but they did tell me about one child having reading problems. We offered to pay for a tutor and they accepted. The tutoring helped.
I have sometimes felt hurt and left out because one of them spends more holidays with his wife's family but I haven't told him that. He is very loving towards me and I adore his children and they love me and their grandpa, so I have to remind myself of that when I feel down.

Grandma70s
Stop trying to justify yourself. If it's something that's always happened then of course you would wonder why.
Every family is different. I hear from both my daughters at least once a day if I didn't I would phone them (shock horror!!)
I realise I am very lucky but it is just the way it is. By the was I also get to hear about school reports & my eldest GC is 17