I live in the same town as my widowed 91 year old mother. I have an older sister who lives 60 miles away. My father who was an alcoholic died 7 years ago. My mother is a difficult woman, who over the years has fallen out with everyone who she has crossed paths with, she writes spiteful notes to her neighbours and has no friends or social life . She is very lonely. My mother lives in squalor, her house is filthy and she refuses to throw anything away, the smell in her kitchen in the heat is horrific. I have had a difficult relationship with her, but she idolises my sister who visits approximately once every 6 weeks. She is reluctant to let me into the house to help unless things have reached crisis point, however she rings me daily and expects to be ‘taken out’ 3/4 times a week, to see great grandchildren/shopping / garden centre etc. I have tried to get social services to help, but the line that agencies take is, she has capacity and therefore can’t intervene. Whilst not wealthy she could afford to pay for a cleaner/have the house repaired but thinks that either myself or my husband should do this. My sister refuses to go into the house, but also will not say anything or do anymore than she does. I feel so guilty if I don’t go and see my mother but quite honestly I have had enough, and am at the end of my tether with it all, Do gransnetters have any suggestions?
