AIBU to want to mind my grandson in my own home when his mum goes to work?

Little children tend to like familiar surroundings, toys, cots, high chairs, blackout curtains or blinds for the nap, extra clothing for emergencies, feeding equipment, nappies etc and of course safety gates come into it too.
Is your house set up for a tiny- with duplicates of what he has at home?
As it is only a short drive away, and only for one day a week, I would go to theirs . When GC are a little older, an away day or a sleepover at Granny’s is a novelty, but it still often involves duplicates of everything they need.

I don’t disapprove of their home at all, you have me wrong there. Yes it’s small but it is a lovely home. He’s very busy there is what I was saying and it’s stressful as I don’t know it the way I know my own home, he’s always wanting to climb the stairs etc and seems to get bored with his toys or his environment more whereas in my house he seems to be more occupied with the toys he doesn’t play with everyday and exploring. And as far as her ‘accommodating my request’ this isn’t a business, we are family. It is symbiotic, she can pick up more work and I get to see more of my grandson. No one is wielding any power here.

"She likes him to have a nap in the morning which is fair enough and sometimes I do struggle getting him to sleep as it’s a change of environment for him but the way I see it is it’s only one day and its not the end of the world if he doesn’t sleep dead on time?"

You are treating your gc as a toy.
Your gc is a person with needs that you dont see the point in accommodating what's best for the child

Your dil is solely taking care of the child 24/7 as your son is away, yet you plan to make life harder for both of them

Your dil is working while you are on a break for summer

Dont you see how unreasonable you are?

Perhaps try to gently explain your reasons and suggest a compromise if it is one day a week. Alternate ,one day a week at his house and next week at yours.

I would go with DiLs wishes for a while and build trust. He is very young and you'll have plenty of time to show him where you used to take his father when he's a little bit older. Take it steady, don't panic. All will work out.

She likes him to have a nap in the morning which is fair enough and sometimes I do struggle getting him to sleep as it’s a change of environment for him but the way I see it is it’s only one day and its not the end of the world if he doesn’t sleep dead on time?

Yes because it then domino's throughout the days. If he doesn't nap, he's overtired, then who is left with an overtired, grumpy toddler when you've gone home? Your DIL.

I'd start with going to his house a few times and stick to his normal routine as far as possible. At 15 months he'll be happy enough with local park - wouldn't actually appreciate the more exciting things near you!

If minding him at his house works out ok, you could ask about bringing him to yours, after a few weeks.

As it is only one day in the week I would go to their home, you can always take him for walks in the pushchair if you need to get out. Once the routine is established you might be able to suggest he comes to you on a couple of occasions. This sounds like a summer arrangement so make the most of it.

Yes a bit.

' I have quite a few weeks off work for summer and have said I’d like to see more of him and help her out in the day now that I can. '

So help her out, don't put up obsticles to make it more difficult.

Very much yabu

The person who is the most interested in an arrangement is the one who holds the least amount of power about it

Your dil is accommodating your request to babysit her child - yet you ask for additional conditions to fulfill your expectations

Take it or leave it - please talk to your son if you are unhappy with the arrangements

This is the second grandma that clearly disapproves of the son and dil's home, not helping the case either

No, you're not being unreasonable but it's her child so you are a bit stuck. Why not alternate between homes or suggest it after a few days and see how it goes. After a while his mum might be more relaxed and pleased for you to have him at your house. It would be good to build your relationship with him whatever the setting.