Do you have a ‘helpful’ husband?

I don’t understand why some of you let your husbands get away with doing so little. If mine had been like that, he wouldn’t have been for long!

Oh no hubby- but i have a son who 'helps' with the washing like this! I'm not sure if ìts genuine, or if he is doing this so i just do it myself.

My husband is very helpful at things of HIS choosing. He is required where longer arms are needed to reach the top of a cupboard! He does lots of DIY things, cooks some of the time and does a lot of the washing up. Helps change the bed as mattress heavy and does some of the washing. But cannot use the hoover or mop to clean floors, cannot clean kitchen surfaces or clean the fridge or oven. Will mow the lawn but ignores obvious weeding.

My DH does very little (and always has done)…apart from stack/unload the dishwasher, make snacks and cups of tea…over 50+ years of marriage!
We have a gardener and have to get people in to do DIY jobs..unless I manage to do whatever is needed. His inertia definitely “helps” me to keep fit these days…who needs a gym?

When I remarried after my first "handy man" husband died, my new husband anounced he did not do DIY, but "let his fingers do the walking" while he looked in the yellow pages!

we have a very 1950's marriage ,I do the cleaning ,cooking etc ,OH does diy ,garden and car .In the past week he has cut down a row of trees damaged in an arson attack taken the old fence down and built a new ,higher one .Once that was done we realised how much space the trees had taken up so we now have a large OH built decking and he's halfway done building a stone firepit .
I do help with carrying and clearing as he works and for us its the perfect team and it works

My DH was single until he was 45 living in his own house he did everything. When we married he hardly did anything because I was used to doing everything in my house. We sold both our houses and moved up the road he took on the role of mowing. I decided to get rid of the lawn for raised veg beds so it put an end to the mowing.
When we retired he did try to over take the kitchen sorry I wasn’t having that it’s my domain. However he gets to make his giant pan of chicken soup when he wants it. He willingly hoovers because my arthritis often makes hoovering a struggle for me. He is a dab hand at polishing my pet hate so he is happy doing that. He will help in the garden but does have to be supervised or he gets carried away.
Overall I can’t complain and I love the mugs of tea he brings me in the morning just bliss.

Pollydolly I have one as well and I think every house should have one! My husband was single until he was 40 so is quite use to doing house jobs, like ironing and washing, and who am I to spoil his fun, I don’t have to ask he will just do it if he is in the mood. I must say we also work pretty much the same as Terribull except I don’t do much ironing and he will also sort himself out for breakfast and lunch. I always do the evening meal, he then washes up while I sort out out what there is to watch on tv etc. Works well

I would say we are equals, but with different rolls when it comes to household responsibilities. My DH is retired, so has all day at home. He does most of the housekeeping and laundry, and a good bit of cooking, plus all the outside chores.

That makes me sound like I don't do anything, but I work full time still, and do all the 'paperwork' and anything that involves a phone call. He admittedly hates talking to people on the phone, other than to chat with friends or family. So today my list is to call to check up on a new door ordered months ago, stop to pick up some cash at the bank, stop to pick up new contact lenses, and organize the bills and mail after having been away for a few weeks.

He does his list his way, and if I am fussy, then I can do it. He puts everything in the washer and dryer, so if I want a few items on delicate or hung up to dry, then I save them for a special load and do it myself. He washes floors, but always forgets corners or baseboards, so I will do that, plus dusting of light fixtures, etc.; more detailed cleaning.

We don't really have any conflicts, not major ones anyway. He doesn't like how I organize the fridge, but I hate how he leaves water in the sink if he is rinsing some dishes. Minor issues.

I also have control of the shopping buggy!

My son in law is very helpful.Last time he tidied the larder, threw out everything past it's date and rearranged the shelves so that I couldn't reach the things I use most.
This time he did the plates cupboard, removed all the Tupperware, put all the heavy big plates I never use on the top shelf.The smaller plates that I do use are at floor level where I can't bend down.Still he means well.

Mr. S. is very 'helpful' when we're supermarket shopping. Puts things in the trolley that are not on my list and from time to time asks 'do we need this then' about things that are on my list.

Yes, I do, although we both irritate each other at times.
We don't always do things in the same way,I am the everything in it's place person,he leaves things around that get put away and then he can't find them.
He helps now he is retired much more than before and listens to me and helps around the house with jobs he considers "manly". He is also an excellent cook.

I don’t really like my husband doing anything, I know it sounds mean, he’s a good kind hardworking man, but he has absolutely no talent for DIY.

He’s not a bad cook, but that’s about it.

We are much happier now that he realises I’m a perfectionist control freak, and he’s an inept bodger, we now get other people to do things, it saves so many rows, both happy

I think we have a pretty equal division of labour in our household, I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. My husband does more housework than me possibly? We had a cleaner until we moved recently, we'll probably look for another soon, he hired our previous one when he got fed up with heavy duty stuff like the bathrooms. I have no elbow grease apparently He loads the dishwasher, but washes the crockery first He does complain sometimes about the debris I leave, but I cook from scratch mostly, my riposte to him on that is two words "Pot Noodle" ergo no washing up! We both make each other coffee and tea I'm often downstairs doing the first one of the day to have in bed. He does the garden, I tidy the bedrooms, iron the bed linen, iron my clothes, round up the washing, he does his, ironing before he retired I did his ironing too, but he was happy to take that over. He fills my car up (I'm ashamed to say) and generally sorts out MOTs and servicing I need to get a bit more involved in that sort of thing. I book travel and holidays on line once I've run those past him for his approval he leaves all that to me plus anything else like booking the cinema, which isn't that often. We discuss money and will take over individual bills, I have no complaints I feel ours is an equable relationship. Social arrangements we both make, I always bear in mind he has certain golf fixtures in his diary so work around those.

TillyTrotter

You have taught your OH well PollyDolly. ?
.I have achieved nowhere near as much as you during our 44 years of marriage.

I too have failed miserably here

Mr B does all the things I can’t. I don’t know what I’d do without him.

My husband is amazing at household chores and cooking...I like to do the washing as I keep everything separate and my OH wojld just put it all in together...We take a night each at making the dinner and doing the dishes....He also does all the garden and DIY....My mum loved him and used to say I knitted him..

My husband will do the washing, hoovering, dust, clean bathrooms including toilets, he does all the ironing and cuts the grass, he doesn’t cook unless I ask him to, but washes up when I cook. We’re both capable of all the household tasks, it’s whoever is around at the time.
He wasn’t ‘trained’ by me, but his Mum and Dad didn’t pander to their children, they were all bought up to be able to run a house on their own and muck in.
Many men are just let off/excused household chores, often by their Mothers, behaviour endorsed by their subsequent partners, you reap what you sow.

DH’s idea of washing is to stuff the machine full, unsorted, once a week, so I am happy to keep this job for myself.

He is good at lots of things, repairing etc, but does not do the obvious, like changing the loo roll or cleaning the fridge.

Mine is adamant pushing the trolley round the supermarket is his job, problem is, he goes off to check the beer and I'm left with arms full of things I've picked off the shelves, trying to find him and swearing under my breath

After I told my DH not to hang my t shirts up , he pegged them at the bottom and stretched a lovely Boden t shirt, he now pegs them up by the neck!

My husband thinks he is...!

We are a good team I think. I do the laundry I won’t let him near it and he does the garden and decorating.
We both cook and clean the house.
When I went away with the DC when they were little I asked him to put the wash on that was in the machine. He forgot what I said and got the dirty washing out and hung it on the clothes horse where it sat for the week I was away. He once put a whites wash on boil including all the white baby hand knitted cardigans my MIL had knitted. I haven’t trusted him since. But he’s a lovely cook. He is super helpful.

Mr L is great at washing, ironing and vacuuming. Absolutely refuses to do any cooking at all except toast on a weekend morning.
He won't let me paint help with painting the fence as I 'wouldn't do it right'.
However I won't let him 'help' with the gardening any more - just show him a pair of secateurs and the garden is cut down to the ground in seconds!
We have learned to play to our strengths!

PollyDolly - yes please!