Do you have a ‘helpful’ husband?

My husband does all the shopping, cooking and house maintenance. I do cleaning, admin, laundry etc. This suits us both.

I do find patronising comments about 'training' husbands to be annoying. No one ever says a wife needs this training.

read elsewhere : Husbands are like puppies - you have to get them young and train them.

Yes, I had a very helpful husband. He was raised well by his mum. He and his father were able to keep the house clean and tidy, wash and iron clothes and cook a basic meal.
This was because his mum often went to Belgium to visit her family, leaving the menfolk to care for themselves,
In later years, once they got a freezer, she left it well stocked when she went away.
During our long marriage of almost 49 years, we slid into a routine that suited us both.
To be honest, he spoilt me rotten at times, especially when I became the main wage earner and worked very long hours.
He became an excellent cook so he took, over that and the shopping. After some disasters dealing with the washing, I kept control of that and the ironing and cleaning, whilst he did most of the gardening.

Now, sadly, it's all up to me.

NO I don't have a helpful husband.

This is all a bit individualistic, this thread. Everyone is different. I do think parents need to bring up children to cope with domestic stuff and importantly bills and budgeting, whatever their sex. I would hate to land a DiL with someone incapable of looking after themselves, or a SiL with someone who couldn't cope either.

My hb does all the washing putting it away.cooking and gardening I don't really do much except the occasional meals when I'm not working .if I cook he will wash up bless him

Until he retired my dh did very little in the house but once he was no longer at work he changed completely. For example dear Gransnetters could you believe I have been doing so many things wrong and I needed help. All those years I had been stacking the dishwasher incorrectly, so I never do that now ??.
I was better in bed in the morning rather than up and about quite early. (I was told this)so I lie in looking at my iPad until he brings my breakfast up plus a variety of drinks. Lovely. He cleans upstairs while I do downstairs, that is on a Saturday. When my shopping is delivered between 9 and 10 in the morning he doesn’t want any help as he has his way of doing it. Lovely as my old back isnt up to bending down to pick it all out of the tray they bring. He also does all the gardening (which he loves) while I like to draw or paint. In all he really looks after me and has made up for all those years of inactivity around the home. We have been married for 62 years so it is very nice.

My husband is useless does not see what too clean.His mum was known for having 2spoilt boys and their dad couldn’t even heat a bowl of soup uo he refuses to learn .They never ever helped her so life is so tough as he was brought up lazy she left nothing to be pro off

Grandma70s

What happens in these households with distinct roles for man and women if one of the partners is ill, or even dies? Surely both sexes need to be capable of looking after themselves, including cooking.

I’ve got one of those!. I always say that it’s very good (excuse) that the other person can take care of most things as one of us will go first and the other person has to be able to manage on their own?.

Cooking,
Laundry,
Shopping,
Pay the bills etc,. etc.,

Yeah it was my Mums logic but certainly does help to minimise creases . I pop dresses over the line and also peg under armpits - passed this on to the kids and if they’re in doubt how to hang something it helps to quote G’ma ?

My husband is a very practical man and I don't know what I'd do without him.
He does all washing up, laundry and ironing.
On Friday my 'puter died and he somehow fixed up a replacement.
That used to be his job.

singingnutty

kathmaggie I’ve never heard of that advice about hanging things out. Is the logic that the way of hanging is to minimise ironing? What do you do about dresses? If they have full skirts it might be best to hang them from the top?

I peg dresses under the armpits to avoid peg marks.

kathmaggie I’ve never heard of that advice about hanging things out. Is the logic that the way of hanging is to minimise ironing? What do you do about dresses? If they have full skirts it might be best to hang them from the top?

We share most household tasks but I largely do the laundry and DH sorts the garden. We both worked full time prior to retirement and agreed to do this. However on the occasion I needed him to hang the washing out it was as if he had never seen a washing line in his life! Shirts hanging by the collars and trousers by their hems! I told him that if you wear the item on the top you hang it from the bottom and anything worn on the bottom you hang it from the top ? easy !!

PollyDolly

My OH is quite good with the laundry actually. He always. turns his jeans inside out for washing and I educated him in doing the same with tee shirts, sweaters, leggings etc. He quite likes doing the ironing although he hasn't quite mastered the art of controlling a viscose dress with a mind of its own. He makes an excellent job of stripping and remaking the bed. However, he does not dust or polish but he will run the hoover over the carpets so I can't complain. Might start hiring him out......any takers?

You are describing my hubby to a T. Food shopping can also be added to the list.

Ha ha. Sounds familiar. Most of the time yes, my husband is usefull and helpful but at times when my physical health is not good due to flu, covid19 or any operation or after having my children to then come back home - nightmare - pots and plates in the sink, and things put back in the wrong places in the kitchen - sure I have lived to tell the tale and cleared up once been back on track once again - could just be a mans thing with them thinking to themselves - WHY BOTHER WITH THAT BEING A WOMANS JOB. Old fashioned attitude then with my own husband who is 72 but I do hear of some men of an older age who are so very tidy. LIFE.

Mine has absolutely no idea about laundry but is willing to do anything else except clean toilets. However, I have just found a lovely cleaner so very happy at the moment. I cook and he does the dishes.

Exactly the same here ?

After Christmas one year I asked my late DH to go to the shops to get some basics as we were running low. He came back with pickled walnuts and artichokes!

My daughter has a doggy knapsack and a bike basket for her elderly Cavachon. He goes everywhere with the family.

OMG! I am GREEN with envy! My husband was the golden child in his family and his older sister basically spoilt him. Since retirement he has got really lazy. I do everything in our house and for him (my fault I suppose). He has limited mobility but I never have had a cup of tea in bed from him. I pointed out that ‘no-one had offered to make me a drink’, despite being busy all day. Took until the next day before he finally made me a coffee. ?

My friend's DH isn't helpful at all. Fortunately mine is, even if I have to ask sometimes!

My beloved died nearly 2 years ago. I miss him. I miss his cooking, his great plans, his love of people and places, his kindness. Most of all, his putting up with me and bringing me a cup of tea every morning since I first had morning sickness.
What don't I miss? He would wear a newly knitted sweater to pick brambles. He once washed my white bras with a yellow duster. Oblivious. He hated to "get a man in" and would promise to do almost anything himself ? ☺️
How I miss him.

I do laundry (about which I'm dead picky) and most of the cooking; DH is tidier than me and good at cleaning. He does the bins too, and most of the garden. It's a reasonable trade off.

Mr H. does all the cooking, gardening, local shopping, dog walking and bathing, loads & unloads the dishwasher, and shampoos the carpets. We share the day to day cleaning and I do the laundry - or rather I should say I wash it, dry it then leave it sitting in laundry baskets until I/we need something to wear! Sometimes it's there for weeks! We do any DIY together. I can't complain about anything he does he's very thorough and a great cook. I don't know what I'd do without him.

His mother waited on him hand and foot as she really believed that was a woman's purpose in life. She was shocked one day when he arrived home from work and made himself a cup of tea. Apparently I should have jumped up and done that and had a meal ready for him as well! That was never the way things were in our house.