Neighbour’s party

Can’t people enjoy themselves earlier or during the day at a weekend?

Maybe they have more energy and stamina than us! My kids are just getting started with their nights out as we are thinking of settling down for the night. It makes us laugh.

We have some neighbours behind us who used to have parties at the drop of a hat when their children were younger. But they were usually finished before midnight. On the one occasion they went on until after 1am they sent around a note in advance apologising saying a special guest couldn't get there until late and they wanted her to be part of the celebration. We just closed all the windows and put some music on to drown out the strains of Abba and screaming teenage girls.

Don't fall out with your neighbours over this .

It was very polite of them to warn you .

Even if it goes on later than anticipated and is loud - accept it .
Please don't be one of those neighbours , who phones the Police and spoils everything .
You'll never live it down .

Maybe next time ,you'll be invited !

My neighbour's daughters party until 5 am in the summer.
It is very loud and I hate the music...but I drift off - probably lulled by voices and the beat .
They also have some mega rows and the air turns blue .

The thing is - my neighbour is fantastically kind and considerate towards me .
She has an emergency key.
She's got my shopping .
Collected meds .
Rushed me to the hospital .
The other day, she took took tons of my rubbish away .

So party on ...neighbours as much as you like !

Plenty of people are night owls, Grandma70. I don’t go to before midnight myself and haven’t done since I was a teenager!

It’s good that they let you know, and I know some people enjoy these late-night social events, but I really don’t see why they are necessary. Is staying up until everyone’s exhausted and feeling rotten the next day really enjoyable? Can’t people enjoy themselves earlier or during the day at a weekend? What’s the point of the late hour? I know it’s a social convention that everyone takes for granted, but why?

YABU. Tell your daughter to bring ear plugs and it shouldn't disturb her.

How lovely for them to be having a party! As others have said- very considerate in letting you know in advance. Yes, send them a card saying
“thank you for letting us know & hope it goes well! “
Maybe you should all wear earplugs that night.

Well, that went well, Bankhurst

biglouis

You can always rock up with a bottle of wine and join them! They are hardly in a position to object.

Er..yes they are. She hasn’t been invited !

You can always rock up with a bottle of wine and join them! They are hardly in a position to object.

I agree. Your neighbours have been polite and let you know what is happening, a 1 am part finish is not unreasonable . If they threw a party every week then yes I would have some sympathy. You can not expect your neighbours to cancel a party because your DD has a long drive ahead of her!! For goodness sake it's one party , keep on their good side you never know when you might need their help.

If this is not a wind up then yes, YABU

They sound like good neighbours to give you such advance notice

Gosh Bankhurst you sound a bit like “Wee Willy Winkle” from that nursery rhyme? in your quiet road where all the lights are out before 10:30!!! You cannot be serious (can you?)

I am with the majority. Yes, general parties, you might expect an invite, but if it's an 'occasion' you wouldn't.
This happens occasionally here, maybe once a year in general, and I think gritting your teeth and smiling is absolutely the way to go.
We have had that kind of a party, maybe once every 5-6 years, and I would honestly be quite upset if someone 'took umbrage'.
You never know when you might need help and support from your neighbours, so being kindly about an occasional party may yet stand you in good stead.
Have you spoken to your daughter? She may be less bothered than you think, and if you give her notice, she may have organise her drive differently.

I hope you can manage this!

RP1 -I like your style!
We always let neighbours know if we are having a do in the garden that may go on until midnight. Generally we try and turn the music off or down at 11 o’clock and try to get people inside by then. Occasionally the party has been too big to have inside and we appreciate our neighbours understanding.
If you start stressing now, come the night of the party you will be too agitated to sleep, accept it’s happening, enjoy the music, have a glass of wine and you may find that it doesn’t bother you so much.

Yes very unreasonable..Your neighbours sound so mannerly letting you know 2 weeks in advance..Earplugs for one night won't harm you all...

Lucca Ah ha! I see what you mean. Yes, it would be very odd to invite neighbours to a special family occasion.

We once had a neighbour who wanted his wedding party in a marquee so that he could invite the whole village without anyone having to drive. He didn't have enough space so we offered to have it on our land. We had a busy week of comings and goings but it was no trouble really.

To thank the village for putting up with the rumpus he paid for the tent to be up another day and we had another party on the second night which just happened to be New Years Eve. There were hangovers in the village that lasted days.

The moral of this story is don't have one party when you can have two and always be easy going with your neighbours because tomorrow night it might be you causing the racket.

Very good of them to warn you.
Whatever you do, don't sit up fuming because you think you won't sleep. You will probably drop off. If it gets to 1 minute past 1am and you still hear a bit of noise or cars leaving don't go round and complain.
There are always dawdlers at parties.

No criticism of you definitely !I just meant that the OP sounds like someone you wouldn’t want at your party !!
Plus it could be an important family occasion where random neighbours would be an odd addition

Was that to me Lucca? We've always got on just fine with our neighbours and have enjoyed socialising with them. If they were misery guts we'd probably still have invited them on the basis that if they were invited they would be very churlish indeed to moan about taxis arriving after midnight.

Maybe stock up on ear plugs?

Its not unreasonable to be annoyed when our peace is broken but it would be to complain to the neighbours about a rare party.

Would you ?? They don’t sound like fun…

Now you have been given notice perhaps your daughter could make other arrangements.

On the very rare occasions when we've had big parties that go on quite late we have invited the neighbours. It seems polite that they should join in the fun if they are suffering the late noise and parking issues.

YYABU

Very nice neighbours to give you advance warning.

Pity they didn’t invite you as well though!