Just answer the question😬.

Some of these complaints seem to be about tactful husbands trying not to disagree, or simply being polite. One classic situation was discussed in another thread, on asking how items of clothing looked on the wife. I suggested then that the only safe reply was along the lines of 'You look wonderful in anything in anything, darling'.

BigBertha1

We go I know your pain. DH also tells me something I have just told him.

My DH does this. I think that he thinks that he has just thought it rather than me just saying it.

I usually say, 'I've just said that'. He just looks puzzled then

He isn't that old. I think he just half listens to everything I say

Me: it's very cold today, isn't it?
OH: well, it's not warm.

Me: It's very warm today, isn't it?
OH: well, it's not cold.

Charleygirl5

Thank God I now live on my own as that would drive me crazy.

I’m with you on this one!

My DH does that too! Must be a man thing ….

Which suit are you wearing for the wedding? I’m not buying a new suit I’ve got plenty

Yebbut if he knows that, if he answers straightforwardly, your next comment will be "that suit is a mess", he's actually saving time

We go I know your pain. DH also tells me something I have just told him.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Must be very irritating!
Mine doesn’t do that but he just doesn’t listen - and it’s not as if I’m nattering away all day - far from it. Countless times he’s said he didn’t know such and such, when I absolutely know I told him not long ago.
I’ve come to the conclusion that he hears, but without actually listening or taking anything in, IYSWIM.
I shouldn’t moan though - he’s not a bad old bugger really. I wouldn’t swop him!

AGAA4

My DH used to often answer a question with a question.
Me - what would you like for dinner?
Him - what would you like?
Me- salmon
Him- I would like curry 🤦

Reading that out to my husband he said ‘what’s wrong with that?’ I had to explain that all he had to do was answer the first question!

Its called manspeak in this house and after 25 years I am now almost fluent and even pose questions of my own to Mr Keepcalm.!

grandtante we are not _objecting now.We have, as you say, lived with it for years and someone with dementia is not going to go through the logical thought processes that lie behind every answer.

It is just that, now and again, it is nice to have a little moan with someone who can share our exasperation. because they experience it themselves.

My DH used to often answer a question with a question.
Me - what would you like for dinner?
Him - what would you like?
Me- salmon
Him- I would like curry 🤦

dragonfly46

Both my son and DH wear invisible headphones!

My husband listens to stuff on his phone, eg sports commentaries, via his Bluetooth hearing aids.
I can't tell, so I just talk to him as normal and he genuinely doesn't hear me.
Then when I get his attention there's a lot of,
"Ooh, ooh, hang about, just a minute, there, hang on, what was it?" while he faffs about switching it off and is eventually ready to listen to me.
By which time I'm probably in another room doing something else as the moment has passed 🙄

Monica

Mine is the same. "Yes" and "No" are simply not in his vocabulary.

I will ask him a question and he will give me a five minute lecture, repeating all the thought processes that went into my asking the question. At the end he arrives at my original question - which he doesn't answer.

I definitely answer sub-questions M0nica - and I do get sub-question responses too!
But we do both talk a lot and understand each others ways. 🙄
I don't see it as a problem to be honest but I suppose is is if you want a quick straightforward answer!

I put a stop to this kind of thing years ago by saying, "That was not what I asked you" then repeating my question, but then of course my kind of answer is an occupational hazard of being a teacher.

Reading all these kinds of threads, I cannot help wondering have you all put up with this kind of thing for years? If so, why are you objecting to it now?

If it is a new thing your husbands have started, then there is every reason to suppose that they need their hearing checked.

I know it is well-nigh impossible to get a man to the doctor, but it is sometimes worth-while to make the effort.

And it could be the onset of some kind of senile demetia that is causing these disconnected answers, which is far more worrying than loss of hearing.

As I tell my daughter - men are from Mars and women are from Venus! Different trains of thought.

DH is just the same - and always has been, so it isn't a question of age.

In my case it is DH is over thinking his answer and trying to think what I am really getting at when I say something simple like any of Sago's question

Ask about the suit and his immediate reaction, is: she is asking because she wants to leave enough time for me to realise I need a new suit, but I do not need a new suit.

Ask about the car and his immediate reaction, OH, is she wanting to use car A and then come back and use car B for something specific

Ask about the logs, and he is thinking 'we want the decorator out of the house before we start thinking about log deliveries.

I have said to DH, time and again to just answer the question and stop second guessing me If there is a follow up I will then ask it.

I have started prefixing questions with phrases like 'For information only, what is the time? suffixing with 'now, just answer the question, do not second guess me'

Still, he is worth it.

Well that worked Fanny.

FannyCornforth

I don’t want to be a Dolly Downer, Fun Sponge etc , but please don’t joke about senility

I wasn’t joking, I was stating a fact.

Both my son and DH wear invisible headphones!

He may not be deaf but ...

Me too Meryl
I often ask , ‘have I actually said this; or have I just thought it?’