Gransnet forums

AIBU

Come on!

(128 Posts)
Quokka Tue 07-Feb-23 14:40:50

AIBU to want my peers, husband, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, certain friends to get to grips with new(ish) technology?

I’m getting fed up of them not being able to; return an Amazon parcel, set up and use WhatsApp, create a new email address, use no-coin parking meters, and so on. Some of these people are a decade younger. So I have to show them how to do it, and they never retain it for next time.

No one taught me I had to figure it out by trial and error, mainly error I admit. But I’m expected to sort these out for them, again and again.

And they insist it’s not them - it’s the mobile/tablet/system. Grrr….

You might say ‘let them get on with it, that’s the only way they’ll learn’ but honestly it’s as if their brain is shuttered.
Can’t do! Won’t do!

SueDonim Sat 11-Feb-23 13:52:16

I’ve enjoyed the new world (to me!) of all this tech ever since the internet became widely available in the 90’s. Some things are harder to learn and/or understand than others but the basics I’d have thought were easy enough for most people to grasp.

My Dh and I have just started a programme of training to improve our physical abilities (curse you, lock down!). That has involved using an app and timings. We started yesterday and I managed to download the app and use the relevant parts for our programme, plus learnt how to use the timer on my phone. I felt rather pleased with myself for doing this and it gave my brain a workout, too. smile

When my sister was suddenly widowed, some years ago, she didn’t even know how to use a ‘hole in the wall’ bank machine and her life was very difficult because she had let her husband do everything for her. Her poor children had to go about teaching her, at a time when they had jobs and young families and all the rest of it.

Quokka Sat 11-Feb-23 13:20:21

Just come down with Covid. Again! Had planned to do shop this weekend. Luckily managed to get a deliver slot from local Sainsbury’s for tomorrow 1-2.00pm.

This is when technology comes to the rescue 👍🏽

Caleo Sat 11-Feb-23 10:16:23

Thanks Hithere. I'll remember that.

Hithere Fri 10-Feb-23 13:42:11

Caleo

Not opening emails whoever email address you do not recognize

If a friend sends you and email with a cute sideshow, random pics of babies, animals, .... do not open, do not save in computer , delete and empty trashbin....

undines Fri 10-Feb-23 13:09:33

I hate tech and am as much a Luddite as I can get away with. Technology was supposed to make our lives easier, but now we meekly acquiesce to having to spend more time looking after it than it spends looking after us. Life is not easier because of it and it has put people out of work, from the steady little jobs you could do if you were 'educationally challenged', rather than the ghastly zero-hours stuff that's offered now (some of which is educationally demanding, also, of course). I'm an author and would be a wealthy woman now if it hadn't been for the Internet coming along and cheap 'information' taking the place of a carefully crafted book that had to get through at least four intelligent heads before making it to print. Having said all of that, needs must, so I do bank online (but only once a week, on my iMac) use WhatsApp, email extensively and internet shop - far, far too much!!! I draw the line, however, at using my phone to pay for car parks. And I do think it's unfair to expect anyone else to cope with techie shortcomings (although I do get help from my sons now and then). I think technology is one area where we've all got dragged along, so I don't blame anyone having a complain - more should do this. For me the peak was the old brick phones (text, call, but nothing else) and my wonderful old Amstrad word-processor, on which I wrote ten books, printed off the finished article proudly and popped it into the letterbox to my publisher with a fantastic feeling of satisfaction. Now it's a ping - and a lot less royalty advance. Ah me!

Caleo Fri 10-Feb-23 12:30:15

Hithere wrote: about not loading any "cute attachments". This made me anxious not to do it. Please tell me what are cute attachments and how not to load them. I promise I am a quick learner.

Granmarderby10 Fri 10-Feb-23 12:20:09

Personally speaking; a day sat inside and only interacting online can make me feel nauseous.
People need people even if it’s only in small doses at the local shops or a dog walk

Coco51 Fri 10-Feb-23 10:38:42

Ir’s an extremely important skill to learn particularly as people are getting older. The lockdown was a salutory lesson for shielders to get their groceries and other neccesities delivered. During my mothers last days she refused to go put but could have had in-house technology tuition and refused. I don’t live near her, so she had to rely on my brother or sister to bring shopping to her and more often than not my sister would buy things she decided my mother should have rather than what she wanted. I certainly don’t want other people deciding what I can or cannot eat.
I’ve sent presents to family when otherwise it would just be money. With many deliveries now companies offer free pick up for returns, and Royal Mail also offer a service so the postman can pick up parcels. It costs a little extra, but far lss hassle than getting to the post office and standing in a long queue. The world is going to become more driven by technology and those who refuse to learn are going to find life increasingly difficult.

Calendargirl Fri 10-Feb-23 07:53:56

Just picking up on a previous post about people who queue at the Post Office for pension or whatever.

Just remember that for some elderly people, that weekly trip to the PO might be the only time they get out of the house, have a bit of exercise, see other people to have a word with, go on a bus….

Sitting at home doing everything online is fine, but may contribute to not mixing with others and adding to loneliness for many on their own.

ElaineRI55 Fri 10-Feb-23 00:19:39

A good few years ago now, a friend asked me to book a flight to America for her online as she didn't have a computer. Her sister, whom she was visiting, told her it would be cheaper to book online compared to going into a travel agent. I went online, spoke to her on the phone about every aspect of the flight as I worked through it, read through all the details one last time and she confirmed it was all correct. I completed the transaction and she then said "And what about my connection?"She had failed to tell me the destination she gave me was not her final destination, but she required a connecting flight to get to the airport nearest her sister. It was not possible at that time to purchase what would then be an "internal flight in America" from the UK. I spent a sleepless night before managing to persuade the airline to cancel the booking and let me re-book the whole thing! I had to use a phone number you were only supposed to call within 48 hours of flying and only in the event of an emergency. I think I've only just recovered from the trauma ( and my friend ended up saving about £10 and having months of communications with her credit card company over it).

Dippysixty Thu 09-Feb-23 19:12:12

Pink cosmos
You can pay a cheque into you bank at a post office

Missedout Thu 09-Feb-23 17:04:04

I know I'm going to worry many posters but those who rely on really old mobile phones may find that they just won't work soon. The 2g mobile phone network is to be switched off.

Likewise, landline technology is also about to change (although delayed because of customer concerns). Instead of phone calls taking place over copper wires into your home, as they always have, copper will no longer be used and phone calls will be carried over optic fibre to a home router. This means that, in the event of power cuts, landline phones won't work as the old copper wires delivered an electric current to handsets, even during a power cut.

Access to information technology is going to get even more difficult for those who have been left behind or opted out.

Saggi Thu 09-Feb-23 16:53:04

….strangely all these freinds want to make use of me and my phone to order stuff online for them . I now refuse. Tell them to ‘get with the programme’

Saggi Thu 09-Feb-23 16:49:01

I’m afraid it’s ‘ can’t do , won’t do’ . I have friends who QUEUE for their pensions every WEEK at the post office . Get thier paper bill for gas/elec/water every three months and go ‘QUEUE’ to pay at post office where they’ ve previously taken money out of!!!…. Won’t use an ATM…..won’t pay by DD/SO….own a mobile that’s kept in a drawer somewhere ( bought for them by nephewS/nieces/sons/daughters) all mk ey wasted. Have a landline still connected to the wall( remember they were always in a draught !!)….one hasn’t a washer or a microwave …. and still at 75 traipses to a launderette on two buses ( doesn’t drive) … even in winter . Doesn’t ‘do’ even DVD’s… doesn’t do broadband….doesn’t do a smart tv and is busy …as I text …trying to buy a ‘proper tv’ …and you think your relatives can’t get on with tech!!!! My friends haven’t even dragged themselves out of the 1950’s.
It fair makes me rant.

NanKate Thu 09-Feb-23 15:33:12

My sister 81 and a lifelong friend almost take pleasure in not using modern technology. They almost wear a badge of honour.

It causes such hassle to those of us who want to contact them.

My friend doesn’t always check if she has a message from me on her answerphone so now I type a message, print it off and pop it through the letterbox. She is often at her allotment so it’s no good knocking the door.

I have to go through my niece to contact my sister in Italy.

My 97 year old friend has learned to WhatsApp to keep up with us all at WI well done to her. 👍

Piskey Thu 09-Feb-23 15:25:52

I’m fairly tech savvie, but I wish I (or someone could tell me) a way to stop the pesky ‘flashing’ advert on every page of Gransnet for the past few weeks. Every time I’m trying to read an opinion, I notice the ‘flashing’ advert at the bottom of my screen, so have to scroll down quickly to avoid advert.
I have noticed that Talk TV/GBNews/Jeremy Vine and many other programmes now have a moving, revolving outer screen, that takes your eyes away from the main screen. I’m now avoiding most of these programmes as well.
I also get annoyed by fast rolling credits or credits pushed to top left hand corner, too small to read. Or those ‘swing’ around cameras on Strictly or Dancing on Ice that completely miss the feet, so can’t see what the judges see.
Not all modern technology is better these days

Greciangirl Thu 09-Feb-23 15:05:13

Yes, I have friends who can’t or won’t email, online banking etc.

I feel the frustration also.

Even my partner won’t do online banking even though he has an iPad and iPhone. I find it very annoying.

Having said that, I myself do not do What’s App or Instagram.
I’m ok with Facebook though.

hollysteers Thu 09-Feb-23 15:00:06

Sloegin

I have generally kept up with new technology and my husband,81 taught maths and IT so still generally up to speed but recently we had a new central heating timer installed which has had me in tears of frustration and even my husband thinks it's ridiculously complicated. The instructions are inadequate and even on line videos don't make it clear. I've discovered were not alone in finding it confusing. We're having it replaced tomorrow!

Thought it was just me and my ch timer. I have resorted to just switching the ch on when I want it.
There’s no excuse now for not knowing the basics of the world wide wait😁 My late DH, BIL, SIL and some friends would have/had nothing to do with it. My DH and BIL, very old school both had secretaries, so expected someone else to deal with all that. I ended up doing legal work for my retired DH after figuring out a computer for myself.
It’s also very sad that family with this mind set miss out on a lot of news and current photographs. As one’s life shrinks, the internet is a place to keep in touch.

yogitree Thu 09-Feb-23 14:54:32

There is a common theme developing on here. Some of us are saving the other people from developing online skills! I am included as DH plays on my good nature and I too am becoming his secretary, even to the extent of passing on messages from the family as he's even dropped out of FB and W'sA as 'it's a waste of time'. Now that I think about it, he is wasting MY time! Sometimes, I do put my foot down and insist he does things himself as quite often with passwords and so on, he forgets, blames me and then I have to spend hours helping him get things sorted out. TIME FOR REBILLION! He would be doing himself a favour - what if I die first!

Nellietheelephant Thu 09-Feb-23 14:51:19

This could change your life!
Try it - written for novices,
www.helpfulbooks.co.uk

nexus63 Thu 09-Feb-23 14:46:39

i have a dad who is scared of anything tech, his mobile is so old and he only has one because he does not want a house phone, he won't text anyone, i can't take my laptop to his house as he thinks it will gather info from his house or it will be watching what is going on, and before you say he may be ill, he has been like this for the last 40 years, i have told him how silly this is but it is his way and nobody will change his mind.

effalump Thu 09-Feb-23 14:31:02

I would so like to update my pathetic knowledge. Unfortunately, whenever I ask someone to show me how to do something, they do it so fast that I can't catch any of what they are saying or doing. I think younger people who are born into the technological age just have no idea how to teach someone less tech savvy. Or, indeed, do they even want to.

MerylStreep Thu 09-Feb-23 14:11:53

Mokryna
When using banking apps you will be asked to check what you have asked the bank to do.
You read that request to check what you have requested.
It’s got nothing to do with fat fingers.
If anyone is worried about fat fingers: use a stylus.

Kartush Thu 09-Feb-23 14:04:12

It can be a pain when you are constantly being asked to do the same thing over and over, mind you I was on the receiving end of the gentle eye roll when I failed to master the controls of the nintendo switch and my 4 year old great grandson gently took it back saying “ its ok grandma i will do it for you cos you are old “

MerylStreep Thu 09-Feb-23 14:03:39

Wyllow3

Online banking is wonderful but I won't let it go near my mobile.

If it were possible to be safer mobile banking is safer
It works on a different system.
My daughter explained that it’s a different system.
She knows what she’s talking about. One of her jobs in IT Banking was to try and bust into fictitious bank a/c to see how safe the system was.