I’ll try to keep this short.
Firstly I am v lucky I have a nice husband adult fully functional children and ok financially and as far as I know health wise.
I have one sister slightly younger than me.
She has always been considered the pretty and appealing sister . I am not exactly a looker and never was.
She has had a very successful career and is very well off big house etc.
Her relationships have not been so successful but she does have two adult children. One is very functional the other is extremely difficult to cope with. Very disorganised always a drama, multiple terrible boyfriends who she quickly moves in.
My sister met a man about 5 years ago very on off to begin with as she said he was dull and a lot older than her. But one way or another he has managed to insert himself into her life. Mainly because he really acts like a housekeeper gardener . He has his own children from a divorce when they were young but now they are adults and have their own children.
We used to see my sister all the time we looked after her kids while she travelled extensively for work. We moved house to support her. I would speak to her or see her every day.
Gradually this has all stopped . I no longer feel welcome in her house . We are only ever invited if his family and grandchildren are invited first , even this has stopped now and I have not been in her house since September last year.
We have made. Multiple attempts to remain close inviting them to things arranging trips away etc. Now I realise that we have been very thick skinned and this man actually intensely dislikes me and my husband.
That is OK I really do not like him either and he has done some mean things which I will not detail here.
Now we have a sad scenario at my house and my sister has texted to ask if she can come round. I really wanted to say no but my husband has insisted that I rise above the whole feeling pushed aside and allow her to visit.
Am I being unreasonable to think that she should have some insight into how hurtful I am finding all this?
When I have tried to talk to her about it she just says things change and move on and it seems that all she is interested in his children grandchildren and the one wild child.
I need to learn to count my blessings and stop thinking about 5hem but it’s honestly all I think about even during the night.
How do I get over this or am I being unreasonable in expecting the same kind of relationship we had before?
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