Freinds

One of my qualities that friends value - they have told me - is that I am the one who initiates contact and sets up meetings. Maybe your friends value this in you too.
As regards texts, it’s time to go with the flow. Carry on sending cards if you want but you have to accept that texts are quick and convenient and the modern way. Why is it so different to sending a card?

Perhaps they are dealing with other life issues and don't want to talk/meet because these other things are a bit overwhelming?

Maybe for them, the friendship has run its course. It is sad for you however you cannot make someone want to spend time with you.

Stop making arrangements or making the first contact and if they drift away then you will know their position.

I'm an odd bod. I've never understood the need for friends as an adult. I have acquired some over the years but it's usually them who contact me. It sounds awful but it wouldn't bother me if they didn't. Maybe it's because I have sisters.

Or maybe Kate it’s because you’re a bit of an introvert like me and we’re fairly happy just in our company at times.

Yes Juliet I certainly am. I find mixing quite difficult.

this famous "anon" poem is something that I have found helpful:

Reason, Season, Lifetime Poem

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

I'd keep up low contact to see what happens, and seek new situations, new friends: for it seems to me that both your friends have had life changing times and we cannot know - they may not know - what has changed.

Get over them. They seem to be over you. Sad but usually true.

I certainly would not say "I need friends " I can count on one hand my true/good friends & in this scenario Friend 1 was a true friend .Interestingly & by strange coincidence this friend contacted me last night .I did not see the message on messenger until this morning.
I have never surrounded myself with a plethora of friends & can maintain friendships over the years ,having two particular friends that I met aged 11 & 13 .

Kim19

Harsh 🥲

I supported a friend with constant messaging when her husband was dying and she told mutual friends how grateful she was etc. I was not invited to the funeral and she has only contacted me very occasionally ever since. When I had long covid she simply ignored the fact. I have accepted that this is how she is but I’ll wait for her to contact me. Like others on here I’m happy to have a few very supportive friends but equally happy to let go some others. You’re not alone Nantuesday2 so I hope you can come to terms with this and be content.

Under no circumstances is this directed at the OP but in my circumstances the following happened:

Friend 1 - Expected me to fall in with her diary and tried to fix me by being over kind and not respecting my opinions.
Friend 2 - Talks about herself and her outings all the time. If I mention what I am doing she changes the subject.
Friend 3 - Has become incredibly religious in an evangelical group and not a sentence is uttered without her mentioning her faith, which I respect, but do not want it suggested that I should gain strength from her beliefs.

So, before they were all fine and fun and empathic but on reaching late 60s/early 70s they have all become self obsessed and are no longer a pleasure to spend time with. Also, I have hobbies and groups which I enjoy and if any of these friends contact me, an internal groan rises. Times change, things change, people change.

L.Ravenscroft 😌
Thank You for that ,Yes I have found this exact thing happening with Friend 1 though tbh she has always done this. It used to be her DDS OR DDS then changed to GC whereby she constantly boasts about them . As a good friend I just chose to ignore it as I knew thats her way .