Is anyone else fed up with always being the one contacting a friend ?
It may seem unkind in the circumstances once I explain but is it unreasonable of me to feel this way ?
Friend 1 We have known each other for 30 plus years used to be neighbours ,saw each other through divorces/relationships 2nd marriages etc etc know mostly everything there is to know about each other - Bad health ,life changing surgery has meant that this friend is going through a tough time . This has been over the last 2 years & i have been nothing but understanding & kind .Giving her space & time to recover -visiting only when she has said it is fine ,sending cards, flowers & little gifts to cheer her & inviting both her & her DH over to our home .
sh seems to of dropped off the radar . Though her normal form of contact (like a lot of people now a days sadly) is messenger ,not even texting or whattsapp . She never picks up. the phone & often cancels arrangements which was often the case before any health issues ,so I am used to that ,its just her way .
We have also known each other for a long time 20 plus years having a friend ship in a work place & remained so . Sadly her DH passed away during lockdown in 2020.as you can only imagine this was an awful time for her & we remained in contact throughout . I invited her to come & volunteer at my place of work in a Charity to help her ,which she did . But here is the thing despite being in contact it is always me who is doing the inviting ,=Theatre ,Dinner ,Cinema . yes she unlike Friend 1, friend 2 does take up the offers but it is always on my invitation .
I retired last year albeit it was a pt role & am keen to keep up my friendships & although I have other friends these two especially friend 1 are perturbing . I guess I am just getting this off my chest .Thanks for listening .
I guess also just turning 70 has made me aware of this fact more so & these two friends also deemed it ok to just send texts as way of a birthday message , yes I know that sounds like I am being mean but really is that what it has come to now ??? 2 other friends also only sent texts one being late like friend 2 . Do I expect too much as I always send cards & yes I realise postage costs a lot but really !!!!!
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