Helpful husband??

You all make me feel sane at least! It’s interesting the division of “ household chores” I think it’s hard to generalise for other people, we each have to find our groove and that takes many years and lots of doing it wrong! You learn what drives you mad, and equally what drives them mad about you! Sometimes words are exchanged but usually to help better understand each others preferred way! Thank you ladies for the great conversations that take place on here.

Oh dear sack the laundry man! I must admit that would have driven me crazy. He obviously wants to help so I’d give him a different job or jobs to do

I wish my current husband would properly help me sometimes. He will do it when I ask him but always does it ‘his way’. For example, if I ask him to hoover he’ll take the Pipe thing off and hoover with the short nozzle on his hands and knees. Takes him hours. Dishes are stacked precariously on the draining board. So I no longer ask him. If I have the misfortune of coming back again in another life I hope it’s as a man! Men eh!

My DGS, age 5, loves doing laundry.
He sorts colours into heaps, and puts socks and lingerie into bags. The best bit for him is measuring the detergent and softener. He glows with pride when he's loaded up the machine, and I'm looking forward to the day when he's tall enough to hang it on the line!
I expect he'll have lost interest by then, but I hope he remembers the proper way to do laundry when he's a grown man!

I recall my (thankfully ex) H, when he retired and I asked him what he planned to do all day, as he'd resisted all hobby suggestions. He said I'll come with you. And he meant it. Everywhere. Hence ex H.

Tell him to stop trying to be helpful. If he wants to hang out or bring in the washing, which you prefer to do yourself, he will have to learn how to do it properly.

If that doesn't work, just go on re-hanging the washing or shouting at him - if he is anything like the "average" husband that will put him into such a filthy mood that he will ever after leave the laundry to you.

Alternatively, you could just tell him the laundry is your affair and that he can go and chase himself!

My husband doesn't know how the dishwasher or washing machine work. These are my jobs and I like doing them. He does the garden, and cooking. Maybe you should tell your husband you enjoy doing the laundry but you'd appreciate him washing floors and hoovering.

we have an upstairs Laundry and a downstairs laundry, the upstairs one is mine, I do all my washing and his best clothes. The downstairs one is his, he does sheets, towels, and all his work clothes. I dont care how he hangs them out, or how wrinkled they get I am just happy I dont have to do them.
re the muddy ground, why is it always muddy, do you have a leak...... ask him nicely to fix the ground for you

If ever my husband hangs out the laundry I am so shocked that I couldn't care less whether it's upside down or any which way. He never hoovers without asking, doesn't know what a duster is and the bed would never be changed if I didn't do it. It's not worth the upset to even mention it. Pottering in the garden, walking the dog, and occasional shopping is his limit. There are men who can (do anything) some who can't and some who just won't try. No need to say which mine falls into. Be thankful he wants to help.

Fortunately for me kissngate my husband falls into the category of being able to do most things. However he doesn't see the need for regular cleaning, bed changing etc so the grime would build up. Seems I'm luckier than a lot of others on here though.

You could write a list of clear instructions.

Lady Gracie - I thought only mine did this! I am presently hunting for a box of toys belonging to my DGS, my secateurs, peg bag and expensive fabric scissors. Despite 4 house moves I never did find our Christmas pudding made in 1989, I now dread every old box I find ;)

My husband worked incredibly long hours so running the house / gardening were my jobs. This meant he literally didn't know which machine was the tumble dryer and which was the washing machine.... Now he's retired he just stacks and unstacks the dishwasher and washes up (badly). On the other hand, he deals with all forms, banking and paperwork which I've never done and would hate. Without each other, we'd have chaotic lives....

I can’t believe this post . Be thankful your DH wants to help you and be thankful your DH is still around.
I’ve always worked so household chores were shared . Also my DH house shared when we met, so he was quite capable of doing laundry, hoovering etc. And I’m quite capable of mowing the lawn , painting and decorating etc .
If my dh didn’t do something to my standard I certainly wouldn’t give him grief . Life’s too short

This reminds me of my late dad. He was very good at doing things badly so my mother did all the domestic chores. The funny thing was that when she bought chocolate or biscuits she would hide them at the back of the dining room cupboard in or the saucepan cupboard and, guess what, he would find them and eat them and put back the empty packaging and deny all knowledge.

Milliedog, in the nicest possible way, may I suggest it is unwise for you not to be involved at all in your household finances, as the time may come when you have to cope yourself.
The same goes for everyone with all chores. There are some tasks we can pay a tradesman or woman to do, but most things we have to get to grips with.

I remember a conversation with my husband years ago…he saw me sorting through the laundry before putting the first load in … he said “ what you doing?” I replied “ sorting the whites from the coloureds”…. he answer “ that’s shocking …and so prejudiced”!🙄

Similar problem with DH he works long hours & doesn't do many chores I do them & the DIY & arranging tradespeople when needed - & my job. But he loves shopping on his own & will disappear at 8 or 9 o clock in the evening & come back with all sorts of perishable food that I have to try to use up before it wastes. Also exotic dog treats & any new cleaning product that catches his eye (never uses them they're "for me"). But he never buys teabags, milk, margarine / butter & only bread when I've just bought a loaf.If I catch him sneaking out I might ask him to get some milk but he usually forgets. He does buy lovely deli-type food for sunday evening meal so there are compensations - pretty maddening though.

Tenko

I can’t believe this post . Be thankful your DH wants to help you and be thankful your DH is still around.
I’ve always worked so household chores were shared . Also my DH house shared when we met, so he was quite capable of doing laundry, hoovering etc. And I’m quite capable of mowing the lawn , painting and decorating etc .
If my dh didn’t do something to my standard I certainly wouldn’t give him grief . Life’s too short

Me too.

My husband rarely helped with household chores but he was of a different generation. Once when I had a bad back he did attempt to cook dinner for the children. According to them burnt sausages, lumpy mash and no gravy.
I don’t remember my father ever going into the kitchen. How things have changed.

My husband does all our laundry.

My DH will help out if asked but can unerringly just get in the blooming way!! Kitchen, Dining room, Garden, or just the doorway!! He will be there!!

Quizzer. Ah bless him. I'd be happy to have a man about the house to do the heavier jobs. It's really up to you to train him.

My ex used to constantly do things badly. He thought if he did them badly he wouldn't be asked to do them again. It didn't work I saw through his ploy.

Mine does his own washing which is a bonus as its usually very dirty from working in the garden. I've stopped him from putting white items in together as they were very grey. Now much whiter after several washes