Is it too little to just ask…..

Academics can sometimes lack what is called "common sense" or "streetwise" knowledge. Sometimes we cant see the wood for the trees.

My nephew tells me that sometimes I am so determined to find a way around a problem which for him (being a man) does not exist. He says I make too many explanations to customers in my business instead of just being direct.

You can't just tell a customer to f* off. You have to do it politely even though it means the same thing.

I have one of those too!

My late OH had a brain like a planet and the nouse of a gnat!

You would all think my table cluttered, only take off things that need washing up or go in the fridge - have a big clear up if we have visitors

we avoid this by never sitting at a table to eat!

Is he on the spectrum?

Our condiments are on a tray on the table, they stay there, everything else goes away or in the dishwasher. My DH does this without difficulty. His job is clearing away and loading the dishwasher anyway after I’ve cooked the meal.

M0nica

DS has ADD (ADHD without the hyperactivity) and this would be the sort of thing he would do, or rather, in his case, he would put a couple of items away and leave the rest, or move them from the table and put them on another surface but not where they are meant to go.

Curiously he find this behaviour in him as frustrating as anyone else.

That did cross my mind, about the OP's DH.

A relative (who doesn't live here - thank God) is obsessed with everything having a 'home', a place to be kept. She likes to 'tidy up' what, to me, is a perfectly tidy room - very annoying.

So, she keeps asking 'Where does this live?' or 'Which cupboard do you keep this in?' (and I can't really give an answer) followed by 'Left or right?' then 'Top or bottom'. By then, I'm just rolled up laughing.

Here, the salt and pepper will be on a shelf, the sauces in the fridge - somewhere - and several things don't have a precise place to be, so just look around for them.

How does a husband reach the age of sixty-seven without being able to clear a table adequately?
Is it the necessity of having to retire to the study to do important work when meals are finished?

Of course some people leave salt/pepper on the table..
Maybe he just doesn't "notice" these things.

My husband doesn't notice that I fold his napkin between meals.
We used to use rings and he'd put his away happily but now the children are grown and gone (taking napkin rings with ghem) there are only two of us. I tend to just fold mine.
His sits in a heap as it would in a restaurant. I fold it and I don't think it's noticed.
As I don’t care I don't mention it. He does most of the cooking at the moment.
I'd probably not be worried about s&p to be honest.

DS has ADD (ADHD without the hyperactivity) and this would be the sort of thing he would do, or rather, in his case, he would put a couple of items away and leave the rest, or move them from the table and put them on another surface but not where they are meant to go.

Curiously he find this behaviour in him as frustrating as anyone else.

One of my AC is like this and I truly don’t believe it’s intentional. This one in particular is a middle aged man who is highly educated and intelligent. Has never really functioned with as much common sense as the the others. I think some people are functionally a different level to the rest of us and my son in particular never got off lightly with siblings because of it.

Put the condiments on a tray, then just say

Please take the tray out.

Job done.

Of course you can always use a large tray, stick everything else on it as well and then the whole table is cleared!

Isn't it a case of answering, "Everything, always.".
The whether its unreasonable bit depends on what he has done before.

What an extraordinary thing! p Andrew teddies
I don't think YABU.
Last night my cousin who is staying (male age 83) offered to make me a cup of tea.
He came back twice to ask where I keep the tea and again to ask where I keep the milk and the fridge.
Eventually he brought me a wonderful cup of tea.

metro.co.uk/2022/01/18/sketch-of-exactly-where-prince-andrews-teddy-bears-had-to-go-on-bed-15935966/

maybe he would benefit from some visual guides.
take a photo of the cleared table, and ask him to return it to that state when desired.
a bit like prince andrew and the laminated card for the exact placing of numerous teddies in his room.