Children in pubs - are they OK

When we camped in Italy we noticed that the Italian families all sat with the adults at one end of the table with the children at the other.

We often go into a Wetherspoons for a Coffee with My 2Year old Grandchild although they advise you to sit at the back which We do .
If She were to get noisy or unsettled we would leave 🙂

We took our DC and then our DGC. They behaved, though with neuro-diverse DGS, digital devices were a blessing.

Most pubs these days have a restaurant or have turned the whole pub into a gastro pub. In this case, children should obviously be allowed. But when I visit what I call a REAL pub - ie, a traditional old place where you can just sit and drink - then the last thing I want is small children running around.

It all depends on how well the adults were trained by our generation and how they train their offspring. I go out with GC and took their DD's out. You choose you're place .
They have been in Michelin-starred restaurants in France and Italy and in one in France given the choice of the dessert trolley to have small portions of as many as they liked for good behaviour.
I have also seen an Italian smack his child across the face and a Frenchman slap his with a knife not behaviour I would condone.
bad behaviour is not just limited to British children.

We have five children between us and have always eaten out with all of them, in all types of restaurants and hotels. First three always very good, last two, with just 23 months between then, were more lively when small, but always ate before 7:00pm when out so normally families eating too. We seem, on the whole, to be a not very family friendly country ! Children abroad learn to behave as taken out (and welcomed) from a small age. Yes, there are a minority of “entitled” parents who allow their children to behave in anti social ways in various settings, but most are fine and we should be more tolerant frankly unless it’s late into the evening.

My daughter's son sits quietly at the table with us and we all chat. No tablets for him.

My son's children on the other hand aren't as well behaved. But they will copy their cousin

We always took our children out to eat, though it was more difficult when they were babies and we had to hold them for a bit of peace and quiet.
I get really irritated by people who let their children wander about in restaurants, getting under people's feet, and I guess they don't go out with them much here to avoid children doing this. It would be simpler (and nicer for the children) just to get them to sit still from an early age I think.
People speak as though children in other countries eat with their parents and always behave themselves but sadly this isn't always the case. Spoilt and unruly children are the same the world over.

Children have to learn how to behave in such environments and mine were never allowed to run around in a restaurant. When they were toddlers, if they started to cry loudly, I would step outside with them until they stopped. I was never gone long because they usually wanted to get back to their father or siblings. If they didn't stop, Dad would turn up to take over whilst I ate my meal and supervised the other 5 kids.

Hello, my daughter is getting married next June. They just want a totally relaxed vibe, no fuss. Their guest list is sitting around 80. Anyone else’s children had a wedding like this?

Always took my children out for pub/restaraunt meals- never had a problem- (all 5 together, then other 2 youngest) i brought them up correctly- they're children are now the same- in fact we met other week in a fancy Italian restaraunt 14 of our family for my grandsons 18th- ours was the calmest best behaved table with all the adult only ones next to us being riotus!

I've eaten in many establishments in Europe, witnessed dining at camping parks and my conclusion is that kids in UK are just allowed to run riot in pubs. Adukts just do not seem to botger to try to entertain or even engage with children at a table when having a meal whereas in otger countries chikdren are included in what's happening, being talked about. I recall either in Holland or Denmark at a resort tge chikdren playing out during tge day but at 6 pm a deathly silence prevailed and I noticed loads of family groups. I eventually asked what happened to make everything so quiet. The answer, children play outside then it is family time when adults and children come together to eat and talk. Imagine that in a UK pub, children sitting at a table with adults and actually talking, not playing games, colouring in but engaging with adults.

Children and adults habitually eat together in France. There's no problem.
If there's a problem in England, it might be created by excluding kids from much of what adults do.
To be fair, however, it has to be admitted that French teenagers en masse are simply awful.

Apologies for errors in post, fat thumb day.

Nanacake

Hello, my daughter is getting married next June. They just want a totally relaxed vibe, no fuss. Their guest list is sitting around 80. Anyone else’s children had a wedding like this?

Do you mean without children, Nanacake? I’m not sure what you’re asking.

I think it could be difficult to draw the line between completely child-centred conversations, which Grannygravy seems to be suggesting, and ‘adults only’ topics. I suppose it depends on the ages of the children. Ours have all been sufficiently ‘house trained’ to talk among themselves or join in when appropriate. I don’t remember taking our children out to eat out when they were very young, though I do remember grandchildren in high chairs, and they were happy as long as the food kept coming!

All depends on the type of venue, and the type of clientele, and the childs’ age and personality.

There seems to be a reluctance on the part of the parents these days to just tell the kid(s) to belt up if they become a pain.

Of course this wouldn’t be an issue at all for most if they were accustomed to socialising with adults from a very young age.
My grandchildren are still having difficulty using a knife and fork at ages 8 and 11. It used to drive me up the wall but hey ho!

This is obviously because of a shift in culinary habits, hardly ever eating real meats and eating fork foods such as pasta/curries etc, and not all sitting at the table together.

Children learn by watching and if there’s no one sat along side them at the table they won’t learn.
Flaming drinks bottles of all shapes, colours and sizes with straws attached also, grrr! hundreds of the buggers
Plastic kiddy tableware they are still using ‘til they are in secondary school: double grrrrrr!

Don’t get me wrong, these 2 GC are brilliant in many other ways both academically and socially but MuckDonalds and co have a lot to answer for😼

French children well behaved unlike some ultra permissive British parents. That's the difference. I'm for the over 10s in some restaurants. It's nice to be able to eat in peace and not cause hazards for waiters from over active children. My 70s children never seemed to want to rush about and yell. Can't understand it really.

@cc, l agree with you. Unfortunately, there seem to a minority of parents, far more than there used to be, that would appear to think we are as enchanted with their little darlings as they are and have come for a meal out especially to watch them running around and making loud noises. For those of us who are hard of hearing - quite a few of us on GN, I would imagine - it is the loud, high pitched noises that are the hardest thing to bear as it sends our hearing aids into overdrive and makes it hard to concentrate on the conversations we are trying to enjoy. With our own children, we would take some colouring books and pencils for when they were waiting. Even our autistic son was able to behave because of this. Of course we talked to them as well but children need to know that, however much they are loved and included, they are a part of society and that the world does not revolve around them.

For me, any child is fine in a restaurant as long as it is not causing a problem for diners or staff. If you know your child is not up to the occasion then you shouldn't take them.

They can come into pubs and restaurants here, no one thinks anything of it. There are some restaurants that don’t encourage children, mainly the expensive ones but I don’t think they would actually refuse service to children. Mostly it’s all very relaxed, adults might have alcohol with their meals but not children. It is illegal to serve alcohol to under 18 s. I haven’t seen any kids running round and being pests but maybe I am just lucky!

It's absolutely a matter of how they behave. We always took ours out from an early age, often to Pizza Express and so many times in France to restaurants, it was never a problem. We went armed with books, colouring books etc. and always with a "you must be good, no being noisy, certainly no running around, stay seated, otherwise you will spoil other diners enjoyment" In that they never let us down. I think it is very important to imbue children with the sense of showing other people consideration from an early age, and it is good to include them. There have been a few occasions when I've seen parents who let their children run riot occasionally in restaurants and coffee shops, positively dangerous in the latter where most people are there with a hot cup of something or other. The parents who allow their children to behave in such a way are selfish and inconsiderate imo.

Took our son to pubs/ restaurants from a very young age, how else do you go out to eat ?
That said , backpack was full of
his favourite things to do and a few surprises, never a problem.
His children are just the same (thankfully ) .
I must admit, as much as I love children , I do despair of the present day attitude that seems to condone unsocial behavior no matter which setting .

We always took our children to restaurants/pubs, but they were always well behaved. One of our granddaughters made her first appearance there on Christmas day when she was 15 days old, as the whole family(15 of us) had booked Christmas lunch there. I have no problems with well behaved children, but some parents do let their children run amok at times. In pubs which don't serve food I prefer the ones that state no children after 9pm etc. When it's basically somewhere for people to just drink I don't think it's the right atmosphere for children.

Foxygloves

Y 11 year old GS and I went out for supper in our village pub this evening as a thank you from me for him making such an excellent job of painting my shed.
The Foxyhound went too, they both behaved impeccably.
Not so sure about Granny though!

But you're not his parent. Children usually like one to ones with a GP who will be able to devote their time to the child. And the dog too! Quite a different situation to that with parents and children.

We all go out to eat as a family when we are together - DS, DiL, DGC and us. We talk as a family and enjoy the time together. My DGC are 5 and 8 and are very well behaved.
It is what we did when our children were young.