rejoining the outside world

I was the same @jojo27. A number of serious underlying conditions putting me in the clinically vulnerable category during lockdown. It didn’t help that I contracted Covid during a hospital stay and had it really badly, but this was before the vaccines were available. Once things opened up again I convinced myself I couldn’t risk going out and about as normal, but gradually over the last year I eased myself slowly back to normal life because realised isolation was having more of a detrimental effect than fear of Covid.

I’m fully vaccinated, still frequently use hand sanitiser and masks in certain circumstances, but apart from that life is pretty much normal. Family and friends come to visit and I go out and about. I’m still sent LFT kits regularly and have access to anti virals should they be needed. But having contracted Covid earlier this year with only the mildest cold symptoms, I’m now much more relaxed about things.

I think as others have suggested here, baby steps in trying to get out and about more, and maybe support from your GP in providing a bit of counselling for the anxiety. Good luck.

Know exactly how you feel

I also felt that I had lost the ability to have a conversation because i kept forgetting words.
I have since found that this skill comes back quite quickly as soon as you converse with people You ask more questions about what they have been doing in the past few years and then youy don't need to say too much.

I haven’t had a cold since before lockdown. Before that I was always getting them. I wondered why my son (adult) never caught them from me, he lives at home. My diet is far healthier than his. Then I tried to figure out what he did that was different to me. The answer was that he has allergic rhinitis and uses a Beconase nose spray every day, two or three times. So the next time I got a scratchy throat and started to feel a bit unwell I got one of my own and started using it. The cold didn’t develop. Now I use it regularly, when I have my grandchildren or any other visitors I will use it for two or three days and I don’t catch their colds. Unfortunately it doesn’t stop stomach bugs though!

I was diagnosed with cancer during the lockdown and had 8 sessions of chemo - wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Anyway, chemo destroys your immune system so I changed my diet, probiotics (good quality not supermarket ones), as much organic food as I can afford, fermented foods keif, sauerkraut etc and lots of fibre - All Bran for breakfast is a must, lots of fresh fruit and veg. This is the best way to rebuild your immune system. Lots of info on line.

I go out now just as before, getting fresh air and a walk does you the power of good mentally and physically.

Good luck, you can do it.

You can do therapy online or over the phone to help you navigate your thoughts and emotions around this. I would also ask for a telephone consultation with your GP to assess risk as a previous poster has suggested. I know you are trying to avoid getting sick but, as a direct result, your quality of life is being severely, negatively impacted. There's no point living a long life if you are going to be miserable doing it. I wish you lots of luck and best wishes getting through this.

MerylStreep

MayBee70
Does you husband and family live like this? If not, do they happily accept it.

Well, we spend half the year at my partners place which is on the beach so our lifestyle is pretty good. If it’s a choice between being in a crowded supermarket or on the beach I’m quite happy to choose the latter. The family stay with us at Easter time. All we do really is avoid crowded places which isn’t a big deal. I’m currently house/dog sitting for my daughter and will be looking after my son’s two tomorrow. It won’t bother my daughter that I won’t be here to greet her when she returns on Sunday! I think she prefers speaking to me via messenger anyway!

I can sympathise, jojo27. The advice you’ve been given above will help tremendously.
Continue to wear your mask to reassure you. I still wear mine on occasion and don’t give a fig if I’m the only one. Go out early morning and greet every dog walker. When you feel up to it, add another outing when you know the postman/woman does his/her rounds. Social contact is important and will elevate your mood. Allow the sunshine to boost your vitamin D levels to enhance your immunity. If it helps, take a vitamin D tablet. Venture into a small shop early morning for one item and notice the screens have been removed, that people are less anxious now, including those who received the CEV letter. When you’re ready, invite your family into a room in your house with all the windows open. Baby steps and some self-praise will stand you in good stead.
I have PMd you.

MayBee70
Does you husband and family live like this? If not, do they happily accept it.

Jaxjacky

Perhaps you could go too Maybee and learn in case you’re partner is under the weather and can’t go.

Can't really because we’ve got a lockdown dog! She doesn’t actually suffer from separation anxiety because she was socialised pre lockdown but after her first year has never really been left in the house alone for any period of time! I did go to the village shop today thinking it would be quiet but then several youths came in and I was stuck in a queue which worried me a bit. I still don’t go on buses or trains and the only time I booked a cinema ticket I cancelled it. I don’t want to be in an enclosed area with lots of people for any length of time. DD is travelling back from Canada later this week and I will avoid them when they return for a few days and my son et al are going to Minorca next week so I’ll avoid his lot for a bit, but will have the children the following week. I’m trying to live my life by doing things that are necessary and avoiding situations that aren’t. I haven’t got the balance right yet but it has become a way of life. I’m quite reclusive anyway and am happy to chat to internet friends rather than meet up with people. I’m still working my way through my pandemic stockpile of food!

Excellent advice here about baby steps and increasing your time out day by day. Otherwise you sound as if you are in danger of developing agoraphobia, a condition my mother had and only conquered by making herself walk halfway down the street, then to the end and so on.

You cannot carry on limiting yourself like this, it’s extremely unhealthy and unhealthier to me than the danger of any germs floating about.

Perhaps you could go too Maybee and learn in case you’re partner is under the weather and can’t go.

jojo27

Thank you all so much for your kind and thoughtful advice. I am really touched by your taking the time to try to help me. Yes, I have had all my injections from the community nurse; she comes to my porch wearing a mask in order to do this. It is reassuring to know that there are still other people wearing masks. The impression I got, from talking to people over the telephone, is that most people no longer bother with them. The idea of going out early in the morning is a very helpful one, as is the suggestion of taking 'baby steps'. Thank-you.

M partner goes shopping very early in the morning when the shops are virtually empty. But be prepared to have to use self check out, something that I wouldn’t know how to do!

As you've received all your jabs I would ask your GP if he/she could prescribe CBT sessions to help with your anxiety.. I think they can prescribe 6 sessions.. good luck

We too have been very restricted since covid due to being CEV.
We have had all our vaccinations
We shop on line and have recently started going to a garden centre where it’s mainly outside but with a big airy coffee area.
We wear our masks when in the coffee shop but are the only ones doing so but feel good to get out and about a little- baby steps as others have said.
During recent appts at our surgery for tests and a visit to a private consultant we have again been the only ones masked.The only appt where anyone was masked was the opticians.
When any family come to visit they keep their distance and we open windows.
It makes me very sad that we have to live like this but we hear that covid is again on the increase so I can see not much will change for us going into the winter.
We do go out for a walk most days and chat to neighbours in the garden but the carefree freedom we had prior to Covid seems to have gone sadly.

I’m glad to hear you’ve been vaccinated. That’s so important.

Yes, some people do still wear masks and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t if you wish. Nothing to stop you getting onto your scooter and enjoying a little ride now, and going into a shop when you feel comfortable - early morning is definitely quieter. And hopefully you will feel able to welcome your family into your home or go to them. Don’t waste this precious life.

Thank you all so much for your kind and thoughtful advice. I am really touched by your taking the time to try to help me. Yes, I have had all my injections from the community nurse; she comes to my porch wearing a mask in order to do this. It is reassuring to know that there are still other people wearing masks. The impression I got, from talking to people over the telephone, is that most people no longer bother with them. The idea of going out early in the morning is a very helpful one, as is the suggestion of taking 'baby steps'. Thank-you.

Plenty of people here are out and about with masks and taking steps to ensure social distancing so neither of those measures would be seen as odd. Most people I know also carry and use hand sanitiser too, it's just sensible.

As others have said, small steps to gradually build up exposure would be a good way to go - did this with my mum after she had been poorly earlier in the year. The front wall was quite far enough for the first few days but now she goes to local shops early in the morning.
Good luck!

Jojo27, I think you have already taken the first step by writing this post, well done. Could one of your family take a short stroll to the end of the road with you? Or you could build up by doing 2, 5 then 10 mins.
I see folk wearing masks still when in town, parks or walks so you will by no means be the only one! We will all be rooting for you, all the best x.

Your mental health is as important as your physical health jojo27 and this level of isolation is not good for you. Speak with your doctor about the risks to your health and what level of interaction would be ok for you. Maybe get some help with your anxiety as well.
Start venturing out in a small way as others have said until you feel more comfortable with it. Good luck.

I also agree with talking to the GP to assess what is best for your health

You have a mobility scooter so a first step would be to just go to the shops but not go in on your first visit. Then go early in the morning and spend a short time in a shop. After that you may feel better about going out otherwise you will lead a very restricted life.

I get the impression you may not have received covid and flu vaccinations. Is that right?

I would definitely talk to your GP / google activities etc. In some area there will be some nurses who do preventive work and could give you some support, but everything is so fragmented now, it is difficult to know. Our country parks have a lot of helpful actvities - including mobility scooter 'walks'.

Sanitising hands is another good preventive step? I have a small sanitiser bottle that clips on my shoulder bag, that I use, and has, I beliveve (one never knows for certain) has helped keep me safe.

If you stay 'hidden', you will not build up normal immunity, so see going out a bit as a helpful step! All the above is helpful advice to begin, don't go straight into a crowded environment!

I think you need to start with baby steps. Are you able to take a short walk, just 5 - 10 minutes around your neighbourhood? Could a friend or relative accompany you? Wear your face mask if it makes you feel more comfortable.

Just gradually work up to the next step of going into a shop while wearing your mask, a quick purchase and leave. Etc, etc.

The first step is always the worst. You know yourself that living the rest of your life in such isolation will not be good for you. Please don't let fear restrict you so much.

We still try to avoid crowded places although that can be difficult. We still do our supermarket shopping early in the morning when the place is virtually empty.

Apart from the good advice above, could you pick a quiet time of day to step outside your garden gate and maybe just take a short walk along the road and back? It would do you the world of good to have a change of scene and you need only go as far as you can cope with, lengthening your walk as you gain confidence.