Rude grandson

He has always been like this, even as a toddler.

I think some posters missed this crucial piece of information.
Maybe he is autistic or on the spectrum somewhere.
I’d give the same as I give to the other grandchildren, but you shouldn’t be giving any of them presents that you can’t afford.
Enjoy your other grandchildren and ignore his anti social behaviour as much as you can. It’s up to the parents to sort him out.

He's a boy. He's a teenager. They are all different. He isn't being rude intentionally. He is just behaving as how he feels most comfortable.

His parents might perhaps suggest to him that there are times when he has to do stuff he doesn't like doing - just to be polite. But that is down to them.

Accept and love him how he is.

Poppyred

If he’s always been the same as you say, I would just vent on here and not say anything. He’s not going to change now is he? As Monica said, could be borderline autistic?

Tell your son that you can’t afford expensive presents and give what you can.

completely agree with you Poppyred and Monica

I'd go to him when I arrived and say something like "Hi 'x', all OK with you?", not wait for an answer but go and get on with the rest of the visit. Don't wait for him to come to you. Likewise on leaving.

If he's privately educated he must have to talk to other people sometimes, but teenagers often do communicate in grunts! You might get one in reply, or maybe, one day, he'll actually answer.

Don't let it bother you and don't make a big thing of it, it's not worth the angst. What you buy him is another matter. Possibly a gift token for what you can afford would be better than something he doesn't want.

If he’s always been the same as you say, I would just vent on here and not say anything. He’s not going to change now is he? As Monica said, could be borderline autistic?

Tell your son that you can’t afford expensive presents and give what you can.

Could you write to him expressing your sadness at his lack of interest in you? Nothing passive aggressive just puzzlement and assurance that you love him. He's a boy. It just might not have occurred to him that he should be more responsive to you. A letter is more permanent and less fleeting than a conversation and it's a chance for you to be really clear about your feelings

He is a teenager

Is he borderline autistic? I ask this because you say his sister is fine. I have recently begun to wonder if this is the explanation for some aspects of my daughter's behaviour.

As for expensive presents being 'expected' by the son you brought up. I think it might be an idea for you to learn to be more assertive and tell your son that he should know that that is not possible on your income - then give what you can afford.

I would give the same gifts as you give others, it will only cause resentment if you don't and will not teach him anything.

He is going through a phase of having no interest in his grandparents, Surely it would be better if he has interaction with you because he wanted to rather than out of good manners.

How long has he been like this? Always? Or just a couple of years or so?

Regardless of that question I wouldn’t ever give expensive presents because they are expected. Just give the amount I am comfortable giving. But I wouldn’t discriminate between grandchildren either.

Any comments appreciated. Thanks.