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AIBU with elderly parent

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Hithere Thu 14-Sept-23 17:54:53

Agree with GSM about the dog - he takes care of doggie properly or rehoming

Do not enable your father - too many cases of elderly parents placing unrealistic demands on their adult family members

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Germanshepherdsmum Thu 14-Sept-23 17:45:09

If he has a dog he has a responsibility to care for it. Frankly by the sound of it he shouldn’t own any animal. He needs, at minimum, a cleaner and a dog walker. If people want to sit in squalor in front of the tv that’s their prerogative, but NOT when they force an animal to live like that. I hope you can do something for the dog who, unlike your father, has no choice in this,

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DiamondLily Thu 14-Sept-23 17:40:45

Losing his spouse possibly had a traumatic effect, plus his age.

He founds as though he has lost motivation - and I get your frustration, because I've been there, done it etc.

If he can't cope with the dog, then perhaps an alternative home needs to be sought.

Not all older people are the same.🙂

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inishowen Thu 14-Sept-23 17:40:16

He sounds like he's depressed.

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Curiousdan Thu 14-Sept-23 17:35:32

My father is 86 and has all his wits about him but he does nothing all day. My mother died ten years ago and try as we might we couldn't get him to go out anywhere apart from the supermarket occasionally and he doesn't even go there now. He does his own washing and cooking but seems to have stopped taking responsibility for everything else. He'd be surrounded by newspapers and junk if I didn't clean up.

He says he's unable to do things yet he goes to the local shop on his scooter. This morning I asked him to accompany his dog to the vet (he had a ride) but the response was, 'I've just got up.' I saw no reason why he couldn't put on a pair of shoes and just go. The dog didn't get to the vet so I've lost my cool a bit. I'm just frustrated with people who need about a month's notice to do anything. I work with older poeple who are still active and learning and yes everyone is different so AIBU for wanting more from my parent?

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