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AIBU

Should I have said something?

(151 Posts)
cakehunter Thu 21-Sept-23 17:21:01

Having lunch in a nice garden centre cafe today, dogs allowed, all fine. A woman at the next table allowed her dog to lick out her coffee cup and lick her plate. There were quite a few 'looks' from people sitting nearby, including myself, but she stared us all down and I could tell that any comment would develop into an argument.
I told the waitress who cleared their table that the mug and plate she was about to clear had been licked out thoroughly by a dog so perhaps the staff might want to give it a more thorough clean (or throw it away), and she said "why didn't anyone (meaning me I suppose), say anything?" What? Well, because I had gone for a pleasant lunch out, not to have a confrontation.
But AIBU feeling the staff member's comment was unfair?Should I have said something to the dog owner?
Would love to hear others thoughts.

grandtanteJE65 Fri 22-Sept-23 14:43:11

Did you perhaps misunderstand the waitress? She could reasonably expect you, or another customer, to have got hold of her or the manager while the dog was actually licking its owner's cup and plate.

They don't have eyes in the back of their heads, so a discreet hint might have been needed and acted upon.

She neither could, nor should have expected you or anyone else to have risked an embarrassing scene by saying anything.

I would myself have done so, but that has really nothing to do with the issue.

I just do not fathom that it is still legal to take dogs or other animals into places where food is served or made in the UK.

Fond as I am of animals I would never dream of eating off a plate a cat or dog has used!

Littleannie Fri 22-Sept-23 14:34:36

We once saw a waitress stroke a dog and pet it all round its nose and mouth. She then carried on putting cutlery on tables without washing her hands. We never went back.

jenpax Fri 22-Sept-23 12:39:45

cakehunter

Having lunch in a nice garden centre cafe today, dogs allowed, all fine. A woman at the next table allowed her dog to lick out her coffee cup and lick her plate. There were quite a few 'looks' from people sitting nearby, including myself, but she stared us all down and I could tell that any comment would develop into an argument.
I told the waitress who cleared their table that the mug and plate she was about to clear had been licked out thoroughly by a dog so perhaps the staff might want to give it a more thorough clean (or throw it away), and she said "why didn't anyone (meaning me I suppose), say anything?" What? Well, because I had gone for a pleasant lunch out, not to have a confrontation.
But AIBU feeling the staff member's comment was unfair?Should I have said something to the dog owner?
Would love to hear others thoughts.

I agree that is vile😳 but being British I too would not have said anything

Gillycats Fri 22-Sept-23 12:36:11

The dishwashers will wash at very high temperatures so I can’t see there’s any chance of contamination. I presume people who have a problem with it don’t use public toilets, sleep in hotels (just think what is on those mattresses 🤢!) or use the worst thing of all for bacteria- cash! It’s filthy!

Baggs Fri 22-Sept-23 12:13:43

I agree, Hetty. A dog licking its owner's plate wouldn't bother me so long as it wasn't begging to lick other people's as well! I do find the way some people treat their dogs rather weird though. Cats too.

Hetty58 Fri 22-Sept-23 10:47:24

It's not nice to see in public - but it would only be a health hazard if things weren't properly washed, surely?

I'm sure my kids would have been a far worse danger than my dogs - as walking germ distributers. Fingers up noses half the time (unless I saw) and God only knows where else, investigating everything, hands everywhere - then opening shop doors and pushing buttons on pedestrian crossings.

I'd insist on hand washing when we got home, before and after meals - but was it done thoroughly? If so, why did hand towels get so grimy? OMG they must have spread a plague of germs.

maddyone Fri 22-Sept-23 10:26:09

X posts GMS.

maddyone Fri 22-Sept-23 10:25:29

Germanshepherdsmum

I agree. Our dog only eats from her own bowl. Restaurants which are dog-friendly should display notices to the effect that dogs are not to be allowed to eat from the crockery.

That would be a good idea GMS.

maddyone Fri 22-Sept-23 10:24:16

At home, we always had specific ‘cat’ bowls for our cats, they were not allowed to eat anything from our plates. We don’t have cats any longer and so we disposed of our cat utensils. When we looked after our daughter’s Labrador for six months when she first went to New Zealand, she brought all her own bowls with her, and we fed her in the kitchen just as we had previously with the cats. She always begged when we were eating, her beautiful eyes fixed on our food, but we didn’t feed her because it would have started a bad habit. We left her indoors when we went out to eat.
Now our son visits with his little dog but we don’t feed him at all, nor does he beg. We offer water in the kitchen in an old bowl no longer used for us.
When we had rabbits and guinea pigs, they had their own eating utensils. It’s normal isn’t it?

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 22-Sept-23 10:16:37

I agree. Our dog only eats from her own bowl. Restaurants which are dog-friendly should display notices to the effect that dogs are not to be allowed to eat from the crockery.

maddyone Fri 22-Sept-23 10:13:29

Germanshepherdsmum

As I have already said, I would be far more likely to catch something unpleasant from someone else’s cup, glass or cutlery than from a plate licked by a dog.

Whilst I think you’re probably correct GMS, it remains a hygiene issue in public restaurants and cafes. They normally strive to achieve the highest hygiene award, and if animals are allowed to lick crockery which is to be used by humans, then that cannot be considered hygienic practice.
Actually I don’t want to eat from a plate in a restaurant if it’s not properly cleaned, I would sent it back and ask for a clean utensil, likewise I don’t want to drink from a cup or glass if there are the remains of someone else’s lipstick on the rim. We can’t see bacteria, and we therefore have the right to expect that crockery is clean and hygienic, and if used for animals, that can’t be guaranteed. They do carry bacteria in their mouths which could potentially harm us, even if that is unlikely. At home we can make our own choices, but in a restaurant we have to rely on the staff and management making appropriate hygienic choices for us.

Grammaretto Fri 22-Sept-23 09:11:14

I was invited to lunch at the house of a family newly moved to the area. They had a large retriever puppy. When the dishes were being stacked in the dishwasher, the dog was encouraged to lick the plates clean first.

It was a shock to me but my host said "we don't need to pre rinse dishes"

Maybe it will catch on! 😅

I agree BlueBelle 100%

Franbern Fri 22-Sept-23 09:01:17

Once a week I attend at u3a knit and chatter group that meets in a local nice cafe. A few weeks ago, as one our attenders went to order herelf a cofe and cake, she noticed a table at which the owner dog was sitting on her lap, paws on table licking at plate. She mentioned it to the restaurant Manager and was overheard by that customer.

The first the rest of us knew about it was when that customer (an elderly woman), launched a load of verbal invective including swearing, against the lady who dared to complain.

Must say we were all pretty shaken by this. And the lady who complained even offered to to leave the group in case it caused problems in the future. On top of this the Manager refused to take any action, as she told us that this customer, was a regular and saw her dog as her 'baby', When I asked if it would be okay to change a baby's nappy on the table, she did not reply.

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 22-Sept-23 08:53:20

As I have already said, I would be far more likely to catch something unpleasant from someone else’s cup, glass or cutlery than from a plate licked by a dog.

Chardy Fri 22-Sept-23 08:16:30

Surely all crockery and cutlery should 'properly' washed up. I assumed that garden centre crockery was dishwasher- cleaned until I had to scrape dried something off halfway down the outside of a glass that could've been described as cloudy rather than sparkling. I complained. The following week the glasses all looked wonderful.

Jaxjacky Fri 22-Sept-23 08:04:28

BlueBelle

It’s become a dogs world many are cosseted, treated as a child and taken everywhere and no I don’t need all the dog owners on here to say ‘I d never do that’ it isn’t aimed at you it’s mostly these new found dog owners who think the sunshine’s out of …. and who can’t bear to leave them at home
I hate it since shops have now become dog territory too they are all dragged in, big and small, bored or excitable In our town we have a new entertainment hall with lovely food booths, often free live music or films………. and dogs! they bark at each other some snap and snarl at others, some try to play it’s absolutely inappropriate Some are carried like babies some are in pushchairs ! Doggie pushchairs! and everyone is expected to ohh and ahh and if you don’t you’re branded a dog hater
Well what next a cat on a lead, a parrot on your shoulder, a monkey in your arms well if they re not allowed in, it ll be animal discrimination !!!
Give us back our shops, food places and entertainment halls Leave them at home with some water a bowl of food and the radio on
And as I ve said many many times I AM NOT A DOG HATER

This, exactly BlueBelle we now avoid all hotels and restaurants where dogs are treated as humans. Too many experiences of smelly, out of control animals with either entitled or bewildered owners.
We don’t dislike dogs and have friends and family with well controlled animals.

Calendargirl Fri 22-Sept-23 07:59:40

Hear hear BlueBelle, totally agree with all you said.

👏

Allsorts Fri 22-Sept-23 07:50:08

I had a cuppa one day with a neighbour her granddaughter and a couple of dogs were there, the dogs they allowed to lick their cups and plates. My face said it all, never been invited since as I didn’t return the favour, they are take me, take my dog. They are lovely people but it turned my stomach, but I do have the odd pang of guilt when paths cross.

BlueBelle Fri 22-Sept-23 07:44:08

It’s become a dogs world many are cosseted, treated as a child and taken everywhere and no I don’t need all the dog owners on here to say ‘I d never do that’ it isn’t aimed at you it’s mostly these new found dog owners who think the sunshine’s out of …. and who can’t bear to leave them at home
I hate it since shops have now become dog territory too they are all dragged in, big and small, bored or excitable In our town we have a new entertainment hall with lovely food booths, often free live music or films………. and dogs! they bark at each other some snap and snarl at others, some try to play it’s absolutely inappropriate Some are carried like babies some are in pushchairs ! Doggie pushchairs! and everyone is expected to ohh and ahh and if you don’t you’re branded a dog hater
Well what next a cat on a lead, a parrot on your shoulder, a monkey in your arms well if they re not allowed in, it ll be animal discrimination !!!
Give us back our shops, food places and entertainment halls Leave them at home with some water a bowl of food and the radio on
And as I ve said many many times I AM NOT A DOG HATER

V3ra Fri 22-Sept-23 07:32:20

There should be a designated area for owners with dogs.

Our local independent garden centre has a side room for people with dogs just inside the entrance, so they are easy to avoid if you want to.
There are rings on the bench seats to attach leads to, bowls and a sink to give your dog a fresh drink.

Our local Dobbies has a dog friendly area but you have to walk through the whole restaurant to get to it.

Redhead56 Fri 22-Sept-23 00:49:47

I must admit as a dog owner I wouldn’t take our dog to a cafe or restaurant anywhere. There is a time and place we have just returned from a short break. We didn’t even notice when we booked the hotel accommodated dogs.
I wasn’t impressed with wet smelly dogs shaking themselves all over the restaurant. I did request that staff did not to seat us by drooling wet dogs it’s not pleasant.
I would have had to say say something about that incident. No amount of looks from the dogs owner would have deterred me.
There should be a designated area for owners with dogs.

V3ra Fri 22-Sept-23 00:49:01

The best thing to do would be inform the local restaurant inspection department because they inspect and award food hygiene levels.

Good idea. You want the Environmental Health department at your local council offices.

nanna8 Fri 22-Sept-23 00:12:29

I think she was rude, that waitress and it was definitely not your responsibility to report them. The fact that you told her was good, many wouldn’t have. I wouldn’t be going there again,either. They seem to be really getting slack about having dogs around in eating establishments and food halls and I don’t like this at all unless it is a guide dog. Leave didums at home !

maddyone Thu 21-Sept-23 23:12:18

I think the woman who let her dog lick her plate is disgusting. She was rude, entitled, and arrogant. I would never go to the café again. I wouldn’t eat my dinner out of a dog’s bowl and so I don’t expect to share any crockery I use with a dog.

The best thing to do would be inform the local restaurant inspection department because they inspect and award food hygiene levels. Any establishment allowing animals to eat from crockery intended for humans would not get a high rating. Most establishments like to get the highest hygiene award, that’s 5. I would also tell the cafe manager what I was going to do. This sort of unhygienic practice should not be tolerated. What people do in their own homes is entirely up to them.

crazyH Thu 21-Sept-23 23:00:40

I have seen my neighbour allow her dog to lick off her plate. I’m glad I’ve only had coffee at her place. It’s wrong. You know what dogs often lick ? And then licking plates after that ? It’s a ‘No’ from me.