Looking after DGS for 2 weeks

No, they are being unreasonable to ask.
2 weeks is also a long time to a young child.
You need to look after your husband and yourself, if anything they should be concerned about both of you.

It is an imposition you are perfectly in your rights to say No! Some of our grown up kids think it is their right to have luxury hols away from the children. You need to stand up for yourself, especially as your husband is in recovery. 💐

The longest we did with GS when he was four or five was three nights. By day three he was anxious, even though he was a very outgoing child who loved to spend time with us and we had a variety of distractions worked out for him. Two weeks is far too long for him and certainly for both of you. It will seem like a lifetime for him and he won’t understand what’s going on.

Whoaaaa YANBU..

2 week with a 5 year old 😲

No way could I have left my 5 year old and flown long haul for 2 weeks.We were lucky that DH parents looked after our 3 several times for a weekend and once for a week when they were older so I could accompany DH on a business trip.I bawled my eyes out on the first night in our room because I felt so far away from them !We did then have a nice time.But posting on here shows you really aren't too happy with such a big commitment. Follow your instinct on this occasion and put your DH health and your own first.I hope he recovers fully.

No you’re not being unreasonable at all . Your dh s health comes first !!!
And 2 weeks is too long for a 5 yo . My parents did a few long weekends when my dc were young , that was enough for them and the dc , plus we missed our dc as well .
I’m assuming the 5 yo is at school , so will you be taking and collecting? .
It’s going to be too much for you and your dh , just explain why .

Two weeks is too long for a 5 year old. Two weeks is too much given your husband’s health, combined with your ages.
I expect you feel hurt that this request was made.
You know your relationships best, work out the best/least worst way to say NO

Yanbu

It is a request that may or not work for you.

Just curious, what is the timeline of the vacation?

How sad
For them to want to holiday without their child
For them to put such an extra burden on you when your husband is not at full health
For them to be putting themselves first

I would never have left mine for so long as 5 years olds. Why would anyone want to?

I would do it instantly if there were a family crisis/illness, but to do this just so they can go on holiday is frankly selfish.

Your son should not have asked this knowing how unwell your OH has been.

Just say NO!

It does seem quite common now for parents to want to leave their children and go on holiday alone, some seem to see it as a right.

In this case, I would just say no I can’t do it.

Is there another set of grandparents that would do it? Not that it is your responsibility to find alternatives.

We have looked after our grandchildren at 8 and 2 for 2 weeks, it was hard work but rewarding, we formed deeper bonds with both of them.
We are however currently both very fit and active.
If you are not confident don’t do it.

Like others, I think there are 2 issues here. Most importantly is how a 5 year old will cope with separation. Two weeks, could seem as if he’d been abandoned in his little mind. I’ve had DGS1 for numerous single sleepovers, but when I had him for 4 days when DD1 was ill, he was in floods of tears on his last afternoon, begging to go home, as his Mummy would be missing him. (He was 4). It was heartbreaking and I gave in and took him to visit. Luckily with her DH’s shift pattern, I could leave him there.
The other issue is your DH’s health and in this instance, I feel should come first over your DS’s ‘want’ for a long haul holiday. DGS2 is 2 and has been with his parents to New York on holiday twice, so I think your DS (and DinL) should really get their brains into think mode!
I know it will be difficult to refuse, so get your DH up to speed and ready for a potential fallout - your son does sound a little unreasonable. This is a child, not a pet to be left.

You aren't being unreasonable at all, but if you are worried about how they will respond to a refusal, you could soften the reply. Tell them 2 weeks is too long, especially with your DHs health problems, and it needs to be properly planned. So you will do a weekend as a break for them, and a trial run for the GS, as soon as you feel your DH is up to it. If all goes well you will increase the number of nights and they may eventually get their long haul fortnight. But it will only be when you decide it's OK

Ali23

You are not being unreasonable. 2 weeks is far too long for a 5 year old to be left, merely for a ‘want’. IMHO

I agree.

When you commit to having children, you really do have to put your own needs and wants on hold for a few years.

An occasional weekend 'break' is one thing but a 2-week long-haul holiday is too much.

Unasmum
YANBU. I think it is unreasonable of them to ask you, given the circumstances. Your focus needs to be on your DH.

just. say. no.

you could add maybe that you were hoping one of them would come to stay for a couple of nights to help you support your husband in his recovery.

You are most definitely not being unreasonable. How on earth can your son feel justified in leaving their 5 year old son with his Mum, who is obviously caring for his Dad, whilst he is recuperating from a heart attack. Unbelievable! Is he normally that selfish?

Don't do it! Your DS and DIL are expecting far too much ( heart attack or not!!!) GS is too young to be left for two weeks - sorry to be harsh but what on earth are his parents thinking of? I would never have dreamt of this for a host of reasons. Their child their responsibility, why do parents today expect so much from GP s and have so little knowledge about the needs of their children. It beggers belief!

A rule of thumb for me was “no more nights than years” and even then, max two or three nights even for a 5 year old.
Is this holiday set in stone?
I’d put my foot down very firmly.

That will be hard work....I'm in my 50s and me and DP are well...I'm having 2 of my GD in November for 5 nights ( age 5 and 8) ....thats my limit ...my DD will be turning 30 so her DP is taking her away

No matter how much he loves you the little chap will probably be bawling his eyes out after a day or two, and how do you explain that mummy and daddy won't be back for 'a very long time'? They seem to have little understanding of other people's feelings, both their son's and yours, bearing in mind your age and husband's health issues. So tell them absolutely not.

Far too long for a five year old. We looked after our five year old grandson for four days, he was upset on the last day fortunately. I Would refuse this time, and see how your husband feels, then maybe offer a long weekend at some point.

Definitely too long . It would be even if your Husband was in good health.
If you don’t feel up to it say so .
Maybe suggest a few days when your DH is feeling stronger.

You are definitely not being unreasonable- 2 weeks is far too long, your DGS will miss his parents after a couple of days! And as sodapop says should your husband become ill again your son would be very far away. A long weekend away is the most they should be expecting of you.

Don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. To be Honest I really can’t get my head around parents in this day and age who have children and then don’t want to have family life with them but feel the need to go off and escape them.