goodwill vs exploitation ?

That’s dreadful MissQuoted!

MissQuoted Just look on the bright side, it's only£20, you occupy the moral high ground and can ignore her in future. IMO it's worth £20 to find out someone can't be trusted or helped!

Eurgh, lesson learnt there MissQuoted. It looks like you'll have to write off the debt and put it down to experience unfortunately. But one thing's for sure; it would be a cold day in hell before I offered to help her again.

You often express a very cynical opinion of your fellow man biglouis. Yes, any interaction with neighbours etc. can be risky, but also very rewarding. All part of life’s rich tapestry….

X post, I see the update now.

🤔

Smileless2012

Why assume that she hasn't paid because she has no intention of doing so?

Yes, she's probably forgotten.

Just remind her, nicely.

thanks for replies - new development - she has no intention
of paying, said we asked her did she need anything, not her fault we bought so much?!
This is stretching the truth - my OH was venturing out to
buy lemons, not hauling a shipping order.
She asked OH did he have the receipt, he said, it was in one
of the bags which incidentally, as you have not returned and
if you are keeping them, another £1.20.
Apparently he didn’t?! leave a receipt and anyway she is not paying a dime.

The neighbour is now saying OH could not prove anything,
if he paid cash
OH told her, I used a scanner and Waitrose
will have a copy as I recall the time.
Neighbour slammed door in his face.

So much for peace retreats.

This is not a feeble old woman, elderly though she is
( mid 80’s I would say)

Our neighbour in between our houses heard it all and
came out to speak to OH, said, she did the same to me,
persuaded me into booking a coach holiday, never paid
me back and we were on the same trip!
On being asked for the payment, £400, said she thought
she was being treated ?!
Threat of small claims court sorted that out pdq apparently.
We so wish we had known this a couple of weeks ago.
This is the price one pays for not gossiping about ones neighbours.

Tomorrow I will write her a letter, photocopying it, push
it through her porch letterbox with 2 witnesses, itemising purchases, suggesting she does the right thing

This has been a real headshaker.
How short sighted of this person to behave in this
shabby fashion towards well meaning neighbours,
unbelievable really.
thanks for all responses

I like Scat’s idea of giving her your bank details, as she might not keep much cash in the house. I’d definitely be jogging her memory though, one way or another.
I hope it is just that she’s forgotten and not decided the bags of shopping were a gift.

One of your neighbours is a nosyhole biglouis? You sound nice.

I’d knock her door visitors or not, perhaps better with visitors actually and politely remind her.

This is an example of why I try to avoid any interactions with neighbours. I have mobility issues and dont drive so this is a perfect excuse not to get mixed up in potential shopping expeditions for others.

A while back one of my other (nosyhole) neighbours tried to con me into being an emergency contact for the woman with dementia who lives next door. I was able to refuse with a clear conscience. She even had the cheek to leave a piece of paper on my gate with her phone number "in case you change your mind." My nephew put the paper back through her door with a terse note on the back instructing her not to harass his aunt. Have not heard from her since.

Sometimes it helps to have a male on hand.

You sound a little hostile towards her. Maybe give her the benefit of the doubt as she may have genuinely forgotten to pay you but do go round and be friendly as she could be mortified to realise she hasn't paid you. Just say you realise with being ill she has forgotten to pay you and see how she reacts.
You will know where you stand with her then.

Just ask.

A note/card through the door, wishing her well and hoping that she feels better after her retreat. A footnote with your bank details on and a reminder of what's outstanding should do it.

Just say.. you still owe us £32, had you forgotten?

Smileless2012

Just ask her for the money.

This

i wish i'd been more assertive in the past.
having seen other nationals just say what they mean, i wish i'd had that example earlier.
i hated asking for anything, even what i was owed.

some of this hinting, assuming, etc sounds v english, and can cause more problems.
just be straightforward.
say there is £30 owing for the shopping we brought you.

I don’t think you should be embarrassed to ask your neighbour straight out if she’s forgotten she owes you for the shopping you did for her.

Why assume that she hasn't paid because she has no intention of doing so?

Give her a ring, ask how she is, you're glad to see her up and about and - not to worry, you'll come by tomorrow to pick the money up from the porch for the shopping. Gives her a chance to pay up, maybe apologize, or tell you she didn't think you expected paying without making a big deal of it. Then you'll know where you stand.

Call round and drop a few hints !!! Failing that you may have to accept she is not going to pay!!!! Just remember never to shop for her again - once bitten twice shy!!
It beggers belief that she has behaved in this way.

Just ask her for the money.

Def go round soon as others say. The excuse can be asking how she is, then ‘did you get the receipt?’
If she says she’ll pay you when she can, and then doesn’t do, that will determine how you’ll act in future.Annoying ain’t it?
We like to do our best for neighbours but they have to do their best as well.

It is likely that she forgot being unwell and maybe she did not have cash that day or thought she would pay you later and it has slipped her mind.

I cannot think that she would deliberately try to get away with not paying as it would make things awkward, either forget about it or ask for it.