AIBU - Grandchildren

I contact them by phone and ask them if their money arrived safely. They usually say something like "Oh yes grannie, thank you". them I say "that's a relief, but next time do let me know and put my mind at rest".
BUT it doesn't work, every year I repeat the same.
I stopped giving at 18years.

My grandchildren are given monetary birthday gifts via their parents (my children). The money goes from my mother-in-law into their parents account. I think this is not helpful for the children as they sometimes have less awareness of the money so yes, need reminding to say thank you (I think this is also true if they have money "in trust").

The oldest of my grandchildren now has his own account and the money went directly to him. He noticed it about 10 days afterwards and phoned my mother-in-law to thank her. I know she prefers letters but she did have a 20 minute chat with a teenager so 👍

If you see them or WhatsApp them ask them did you receive the vouchers I sent. I would mention it to their parents too because you worry if they get lost in the post.

I would say I would like to know that they were received as I will be wary of sending vouchers in future. They might be more inclined to acknowledge the vouchers in future or not!

I would ring each one, or their parents, and ask pointedly if they had received the gift, 'as I haven't heard from you'.
One more chance, and then i would stop.
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cossybabe, I'd make my feeling known and tell their parents you're a bit disappointed that your grandchildren can't be bothered to say thank you. They should be prompting their kids to call, or at least send a text to their grandparents to say thanks for the money.

How do you get the money to them ... in a card, pass it on to mum or dad to give to them? If mum/dad say thanks on their behalf it's really not quite the same. We all know that it wouldn't enter the minds of many teenagers to do such a thing, even though I'm sure they appreciate it, so it's up to mum or dad to make sure they do it!

Seadragon, that is so lovely and very much in the spirit of giving a gift.

I enjoy choosing, wrapping and sending gifts to 3 DGC and always by special delivery so I know they've arrived. I love it when they thank me but don't mind if they don't. We live a very simple life so this is an indulgence of mine. It's nice if they mention a gift at some point but not essential. I know from my own experience that there will be something amongst the gifts we have given them that will bring smiles to their faces when they are older...perhaps after we're gone...

How do you send them cossy?
Perhaps a ‘please let me know you have it safely’ may produce a thank you.

Why not talk to their parents, they are the ones who should be teaching and reminding their children to send thank you notes.

If after talking to parents, thank you notes are still unforthcoming, stop giving the presents.

I have a similar problem with great-niece and -nephews. If you send something, you at least need to know it's arrived safely and a text message is adequate these days. I didn't send directly to them this Christmas but made alternative arrangements.

I shall stop sending money (not much) for birthdays when they reach 16, just as I did with their mother, although I shall continue to send cards. GD gets a nudge from her dad, fortunately, if we're not actually on the spot.

Why don't you talk to them about this cossybabe and tell them how disappointed you are not to receive an acknowledgement of your gifts. I agree with silverlining it's rude,ungrateful and thoughtless. I would most certainly speak to any of my grandchildren if they behaved like this.

My brother tells my niece to send a thank you text, I dont think she would otherwise. I do think that at age 14 she should have the good manners to do it without prompting, however I seem to remember being the same at that age, my mother would tell me to send thank you letters which I would reluctantly do.

Do they keep in touch at other times and in other ways?

some passive-aggressive suggestions here; i don't think they are a good idea, but seem to be much used in this country.
we can't really change other people's behaviour by kind of pushing them into it.
it's like trying to make someone be fond of you. it won't work.
you obviously expect gratitude to be expressed for these lavish, to my mind, gifts.
it's not happening, therefore you are continuing to cause yourself disappointment.
so better to avoid all that.
either taper off gradually, or just stop.

Did you make sure your children, ie their parents thanked people for gifts? If you didn't, then you can't expect the next generation to. If you did, I would be asking them why your grandchildren never acknowledge your gifts

I think I would carry on until they are 18 and then stop sending money and just send a card instead.
You never know they might contact you to find out where their money is and in that case you can tell them!!

That amounts to a lot of money cossy. Given that youngsters, and older sters too. Will always have their phones to hand a short thank-you only takes a second.
It’s very disappointing and I woukd consider cutting it down, or particularly for the older ones, stopping altogether.
It’s plain rude given how fast and easy it is to send a message. No need to spend time writing a letter, find an envelope buy a stamp and walk to a postbox……