Poppyred
Conclusion - extroverts will never understand how us introverts feel about social situations!
Be grateful?? WHAT.??
True!
I am, in most social gatherings, an extrovert. But I hate, hate, hate surprise parties or events of any type.
I understand that the recipient of the surprise is expected to be grateful for the effort of the individual(s) who've arranged it, but I do wonder if, sometimes, that person is doing it because it makes them feel good about themselves.
I was once roped into a surprise bash for an acquaintance that I knew well enough to know would not enjoy it but would put on a brave face. I pointed this out but was told, "no, no, it'll be fun, she won't have to do anything except be there" (or words to that effect).
One thing to take into consideration when organising a surprise party for an older person (apart from the obvious - is this what he / she would really want) - is that it's not at all unusual for the ageing body to have its off days; days when planned activities are cancelled because you just don't feel up to it. In my case, I have 'abdominal issues' - to put it politely - and there are times when nausea, cramping and fatigue get the better of me. And I never know when (or why) I will get one of these episodes.
Along with others (I suspect), I try to hide these unfortunate bad patches so as not to become a boring moaning Minnie. So you might not know that a person was at the mercy of a health condition, about which you knew nothing, but which could cause a level of high-anxiety in the social setting of a surprise party.
To those who suggest that one should be pleased and grateful that others care enough to go to the trouble of arranging a surprise, I would say that if you care enough about someone, you should just take a moment to consider whether this is something that person could physically and emotionally cope with... because everyone knows that surprise parties are loved by some and loathed by others. And it might not be easy to distinguish between the two as some people put on an outward 'brave' face in social settings in order to fit-in and cope with them.
