To say eldest GD needs to grow up?

I really can’t believe this YorkshireQueen you sound about as unfeeling as anyone I ve come across on here and yes very very mean You come across as hard hearted and biased
I don’t blame her for not coming out her room I hope she can perhaps find another lady to house share with and get her away from her biased family and the worst part is you think you’re right
Poor lady

How did your youngest granddaughter managed to save £80k on a salary of £9k? Did she claimed Universal credit or some other benefits to top up her low income?

190K 1 bedroom flat . We live near London, still in the expensive area but do able. As is seen here.

Claim not clim.

The only thing I can think of, if true, is 80k deposit is on one of those part buy part rent places, and then because they are on low wages they can clim for help with there rent via UC.

OP you are still carping on about the second Grandchild when the 1st one is the hardworking honourable one.

Germanshepherdsmum

£80k paying for ‘most of the flat’ sounds singularly unlikely in London.

Perhaps there is another London somewhere else!!

Germanshepherdsmum

Sounds like Diane Abbott maths to me.

Sounds like Diane Abbott maths to me.

YorkshireQueen

They can pay most of the flat upfront with that money. This means they only have a small amount to pay each month. Why on earth would I be worried?I am thrilled for them and shows how wrong everyone here was.

Please explain those numbers to me. Granted I live way out in an inexpensive area, however I think you may have your sums wrong.

£80k paying for ‘most of the flat’ sounds singularly unlikely in London.

Is the flat in London? Is it habitable or does it need work? From what I've seen the very minimum for a flat in London would be around £220,000. I live in a city where prices are almost comparable.

This would leave them with a £140,000 mortgage which is considered small by today's standards but three times their combined salary would not be sufficient and £80,000 is not half the purchase price.

How much is the flat costing?

mr Google says,
The average one-bedroom flat in Greater London peaked at £327,000 in 2020, falling in 2021 and again in 2022, before rising slightly to £289,300 today.

how can 80K pay most of it upfront ??

They can pay most of the flat upfront with that money. This means they only have a small amount to pay each month. Why on earth would I be worried?I am thrilled for them and shows how wrong everyone here was.

Wait for the relationship to go pear-shaped when they realise they can’t manage on this low income in London. The deposit is your granddaughter’s - but what will happen when they realise they can’t manage on this? And they won’t be able to - it’s a very low joint salary though you seem to think it’s a king’s ransom. Your granddaughter stands to lose a lot of money but you seem unable to understand that. Far from congratulating her, I would be extremely worried,

Just to add though for everyone who is so smug saying they won't be able to afford it. They are going to put all the 80K savings upfront in buying the flat then they will only have a small amount to pay off each month. Completely do-able. They are almost there in terms of buying so shows how wrong you all are.

Here we go again:

I think you are all being very cruel and judgemental …..

but YorkshireQueen thats exactly what you are doing towards your elder granddaughter you are blind to your faults

Obviously this can’t be real, it seems a made up story, surely no one could really think like this yorkshreQueen surely you can see how awful this comes across
I can’t actually believe you are a real person ?

Read your first post. You say the elder sister works. You say the younger one ‘only works part time’. The obvious inference is that the elder does not work part time.

You have been very unkind to your granddaughter and I don’t get the impression that you’re going to change.

Where did I say eldest GD works full time? I didnt. She works but not full time.
Taking myself off this thread now. Getting very unkind and not serving any real purpose.

YorkshireQueen

Oh for goodness sake. Some of you are just being very horrid now.
My youngest GD has mental health issues and anxiety impacting on her ability to work full time. My eldest GD wouldn't earn nearly enough to move out alone in this area.
I think you are all being very cruel and judgemental.

Ah, yes. Mental health issues. Meanwhile, her older sister has chronic health issues yet holds down a full time job, contributes financially and does what she can in the home. I am not pooh-poohing mental health issues - I have suffered from depression/anxiety myself, as have several other people l know. I, and most of them, have still managed to work more than part time and do what we needed to do outside work. It is estimated that around a quarter of the population will suffer from some form of psychiatric illness at one time or another. If they were all to work part time, the economy would sink altogether.

The older granddaughter is a responsible adult, who works in a demanding job despite being in poor health herself. She also contributes financially to the household and does almost all the cooking. You haven’t said, but I bet she does a lot of the household chores in addition. I cannot for the life of me see where she needs to grow up. I see that there is an age gap of seven years between the two sisters. Is it the case that the younger one has always been the Golden Child with every whim indulged while the older sister has been overshadowed and overlooked yet expected to join in with the paeans of praise for the younger sister? It seems to me that you yourself have probably always favoured your younger granddaughter yet it is the older one who has worked hard to make a good life for herself with no help from others. Hers are the real achievements, not those of a woman who chooses to work part time and yet has saved £80,000. How is it possible on this income? Also, why is a woman of 31 with no ties or responsibilities only working part time? She will now be bankrolled by her partner, although how they will be able to keep up a mortgage and other living expenses on a combined income of £30,000 is a mystery. If this is now the sole topic of conversation, is it any surprise that the older girl disappears upstairs? She has also got her priorities right about men. If Mr. Right comes along, fine, but if not, fine also. As others have said, it’s the younger sister who needs to grow up.

really having a mortgage really isn’t the be all and end all!
Nor is having a man!

Namsnanny

I like your eldest GD YorkshireQueen
She had morals, character and a determination to stand up for herself.
I'd be so proud of her if she were related to me.

You asked what you could do about the situation...
Go up to her room give her a hug, tell her you love her, and last but not least leave her at least £80k in your will.

👏👏👏
And a house!

Finally, don’t think this OP will be back, as we are all horrible and ever so cruel!

But maybe this lovely sounding elder GD can find some kind of live in role, which isn’t too taxing, or look at supported living? There’s always a way to more independence, really having a mortgage really isn’t the be all and end all!

I truly wish her luck in the future and hope she can escape from her toxic family!