To say eldest GD needs to grow up?

YorkshireQueen
I think that the negative responses to your op are due tothe fact that you seem to be championing the one GD while being quite demeaning about the other one . In fact in all of the replies from yourself so far this has been the case . You were all downstairs “ celebrating “ ……!
Obviously congratulating your gd on her achievements but you say she does not contribute,,,to what the running of the house paying her parents board .

Is that why she can save £9k on such a small salary ?

Yes, it’s a good thing your gd & her beau have done in this economic climate .
But come on , she hasn’t done it alone & in this day & age women are able to fly high on their own . Your older gd should get some credit & appreciation for paying her way . Your post is reminiscent of Cinderella 😢

NotSpaghetti

Other places with good london links - Birmingham, Nuneaton, Lichfield...
All about an hour I think.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/144272993#/?channel=RES_BUY
This is Lichfield- it needs work and is on a main road but generally Lichfield is expensive when comparing it with Derby.

If access to London isn't an issue she could go anywhere it seems to me.

My daughter lives in rented accommodation just outside Stoke. She's paying peanuts and the village she lives in is wonderful. On a major route in and out of Stoke/Staffs yet a five minute walk into open countryside where last autumn was foraging for blackberries to make her own jam!

BUT OPs GD can't move away due to lack of confidence.

And so what of a reverse thread? I previously stated there was absolutely NOTHING wrong with celebrating success. But to consistently do it in front of someone who you KNOW will, for the foreseeable future, be unable to achieve such freedoms (and then become defensive over it to boot) is just mean. If you can't accept constructive criticism/comment/opinion then don't post. Fin.

NotSpaghetti

Other places with good london links - Birmingham, Nuneaton, Lichfield...
All about an hour I think.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/144272993#/?channel=RES_BUY
This is Lichfield- it needs work and is on a main road but generally Lichfield is expensive when comparing it with Derby.

If access to London isn't an issue she could go anywhere it seems to me.

I do like Lichfield 🙂

BlueBelle

Well since yorkshirequeen hasn’t returned for a fortnight I think we re talking to ourselves She suppose she didnt agree with out points of view which were fairly unanimous

It all rather stretches credulity.

🤔

Wasn't going to bite anymore but it seems I have to do so.
Youngest GD has been saving since she was a teen. Eldest does as well but doesn't have the income to go it alone. I have already suggested she move to a cheaper area but she's not confident enough to do it alone. However, that is the only way she can do it.
Again. I do not have a favourite. I have already said that I shouldn't have used the words that I did but I still feel she should be more mature about all of this. I can't help but think that if I did a reverse thread written in by my eldest GD as in pretending I was her, the responses would have been VERY different.

Other places with good london links - Birmingham, Nuneaton, Lichfield...
All about an hour I think.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/144272993#/?channel=RES_BUY
This is Lichfield- it needs work and is on a main road but generally Lichfield is expensive when comparing it with Derby.

If access to London isn't an issue she could go anywhere it seems to me.

www.onthemarket.com/details/12385409/
Here's one - easy walking distance to the centre of Derby and the University.

I feel it's maybe now time for the less favourite sister to save a little. Maybe she should now have a discussion with her family and stop paying into the family pot? Maybe then she could look for a shared ownership property where she wouldn't need to save do much?

Could she get work in a less expensive area? Would she be prepared to move?

Maybe somewhere in the Midlands with good train links to London - Derby say? I know there are lots of inexpensive properties outside London.

I think she has a lot to offer personally.

Well since yorkshirequeen hasn’t returned for a fortnight I think we re talking to ourselves She suppose she didnt agree with out points of view which were fairly unanimous

It would take someone 9 years to save £80k on a £9k salary that is if she spent absolutely nothing in all that time - no clothes, food, transport, evenings out - really? Who has been paying for these all these years?

BlueBelle

And I would think sick to the back teeth of the haloed one

Absolutely this.

Sorry, but it seems like the youngest GD is the Golden Child.

From all sides of the family.

Sounds to me like you have a favourite GD.

Of course you can celebrate your youngest GDs achievements, but you don't have to go on about it! Eldest probably is feeling guilty about not being able to contribute more and also a tinge of jealousy as the eldest, not getting a house first.

£80k is a huge saving achievement but I struggle to believe that she got there without any support whatsoever! (cheaper/no rent/some degree of luck. I know this because my own daughter & her partner saved a similar amount of money for their new house by living at home and/or renting from friends with minimal rent). That said, OF COURSE I'm immensely proud of her achievements. As is her younger sister, who is just renting right now. Sisters supporting sisters.

How sad is it that you're alienating your GD further with your entitled, selfish, mean and unwarranted comments.

If I had a spare house she could have that.

Jeez.

BlueBelle

And I would think sick to the back teeth of the haloed one

Yes. This!

And I would think sick to the back teeth of the haloed one

I don't think the oldest, morally, right one is jealous, she just see's through her sister. She knows she won't be able to afford this flat. She also knows that the family will probably subsidise her like they have always done.

If it was that easy to find herself a lifelong committed partner who has enough money to help her move out, I'm sure she would have done so already!
Do you know anyone who might take her on so you can be proud of your eldest GD, like you are of your youngest?
Mind you, she may just turn the tables on you, and start showing you around OAP homes!!!

Really am finished here now
Ok

But we can carry on discussing it, unless the thread gets deleted as one of those suspect ones.

There are cheap flats in some areas but some are designed for older people and have horrendous annual service charges.

I am left wondering which expensive area of London has flats at £190,000 🤔

Not to mention service charges in the case of a flat. I think they will struggle, and money worries cause many a relationship to fail.

YorkshireQueen, you asked AIBU, and we gave you our answers, which you obviously don't agree with, and you aren't prepared to change the way you think, or to change your attitude towards your eldest GD. That is your choice.

On paper, paying £80K deposit, on a £190K property, leaving £110K mortgage, the monthly repayments probably are doable with their joint income. However, once the bills start coming in, which your YGD has never had to pay or budget for in her whole life, it may be a very different matter. Not only with the monthly utility bills, but all the other outgoings that homeowners have to pay for ... Solicitor's fees, surveyor's fees, buildings insurance, house contents insurance, the costs of buying furnishings/carpets/curtains/etc., weekly food/household bills, occasional repair costs when something breaks (washing machine/tv/etc.), which can really put a dent in your monthly budget if you don't already have money put aside for these things. TV license, internet, mobile phone, clothing costs. Do either of them own a car? ... Petrol costs, services and MOT costs, repair bills, tax, insurance, etc. If they don't run a car, then there's still travel expenses to/from work everyday. Do they plan to ever go out/socialise at weekends for drinks/meals? Do they ever plan to go on any holidays?

I'd be worried that after the initial euphoria of buying their first home together, they may find themselves in financial difficulties, unless they have sat down and seriously (and honestly!), worked out all of their figures to include all of the above (and probably more - there's always more!).

Far from being excited for your YGD, I'd be telling her to be very cautious, and to make sure they know exactly what they are getting themselves into.

Maybe your older GD, being the sensible, grown up one, who pays her way, can see how this might all end up for her younger sister, who it seems has never had the responsibility of having to pay her way, or budget for anything. It seems she has simply flounced through life, saving all her salary, scrounging off both her parents and her sister, to enable her to save a little nest egg so she can now jointly buy a property with her boyfriend. Who, it seems, she will be scrounging off for the foreseeable future.

I’m wondering if this is a shared-ownership leasehold property? It seems a fairly low purchase price.

Anyway, the main point of your post, YorkshireQueen is to tell us about your older GD, who I admire for all the qualities you’ve described, but which sadly don’t seem to be valued by you or by her immediate family.

I hope things go well for your younger GD, too, but your older Granddaughter has reason to feel upset and unappreciated. She deserves happiness and success in her life and I hope she achieves both in abundance.

👏👏👏

YorkshireQueen

I love how everyone is skipping over the part where I gave the price of the property (Therefore, proof that it is do able) and everyone starts raking back over savings and what not. Trying to save face.
Funny.
Really am finished here now.

Totally deluded. Price of flat 190k, 80k put down. £110k mortgage. Nearly 5 times their joint salary
How will they paid all the council tax ,utility bills and afford to eat.
I asked before are they part renting, if so they may get some help from UC for this, but you do not want to answer the question.
Bluebelle said you are hard hearted. I just think you are stupid and not seeing the wider picture, but your 1st Grandaughter does that's why she avoids you.

I think you ‘should’ finish and finish giving your eldest grandaughter such a hard time
Unbelievable

I love how everyone is skipping over the part where I gave the price of the property (Therefore, proof that it is do able) and everyone starts raking back over savings and what not. Trying to save face.
Funny.
Really am finished here now.

SporeRB

How did your youngest granddaughter managed to save £80k on a salary of £9k? Did she claimed Universal credit or some other benefits to top up her low income?

She wouldn't have paid any NI. Apparently no outgoings.