AIBU about a friend

Have had several 'friends' like this. Only want friendship if it consists of you listening to all their woes and life stories (of which the wrongs are NEVER their fault ) and nodding in the right places. But should you ask them for support?! They're not interested. Sorry this has happened to you and for you to find out in such a time of need, which is often the way sadly. Big hugs 🤗

Half way through I became ill and needed to leave. I told her this at the interval and she wasn't happy as she wanted a lift home. This had not been prearranged and wouldn't have made any difference if it had.
Not - "Will you be all right? Oh dear, are you ok to drive?" !

Some people are takers and not givers.
You sound like a giver, Sapphire24 but this person is not.

I hope you and your DH have other friends.

I’m sorry that this has happened to you. Sadly, it certainly sounds as if the friendship has ended even though you’ve done your best to rebuild what you had. I think the best thing to do now is step back and just wait and see if she makes a move to contact you, and f she does, decide if you want to rekindle the friendship or not (though from how you describe her, it’s probably better to let it go) but in the meantime continue with your life.
So pleased to hear that your DH has recovered.

With ''friends'' like her, who needs enemies?! She still wanted a lift home even though you were ill then chucked a tantrum when you couldn't. Refusing to communicate in an adult way with you.

Her me-myself-and-I attitude stinks.

I'm happy to hear your hubby is now OK, good on him, but it's time to cut her out of your life altogether, she's never been a friend to you at all, just a user.

Delete her phone numbers/emails, social media etc. and don't cry over ending it with her, she's just toxic.

Sapphire, she sounds really self-centred and you should probably just leave her to it.

I have a neighbour who I thought was a friend but it became plain over time that I was only useful to her if I did her bidding.

In the end I went no contact, you can imagine how awkward it is living next door!!

I have pondered the reason that some people are so selfish and rude. I don't understand it. Any psychologists on here who can throw some light on this type of behaviour?

Have to say she sounds like a bit of a diva... all 'me, me, me'. That may be unfair, but it looks like while she was getting all the attention she was friendly now you're not so attentive (and had the audacity to leave her play early) she's got better things to do. I would forget about her. I'm sure you've got nicer friends.

Does ' nt sound like a true friend to me . Stay well away, she is not interested - her loss not yours!

Was she friends with you as part of a couple? Maybe this is why she is blanking you.

We have a few 'couples' friends. My DH is more sociable than me and we became couples friends after he originally become friendly with the man of the couple through his hobbies.

I get on well with the women and occasionally we do things without our husbands. I am not very good at instigating things though as I am a bit of a loner when left to my own devices.

I do wonder what would happen if my DH wasn't around though. Would it be too much of a reminder that I am no longer part of a couple? Did they only like me because I came as a package with my husband?

I realise that this is the opposite of the OP and it doesn't seem that relevant to OP's issue. Just trying to give another perspective.

Never was the saying ‘When people show you who they are, believe them’ more true than this instance Sapphire. You’re better off without her if she can treat you like this.

No friendship is ever equal and its often the case that one party makes all or most of the effort. When a friendship ends over a seemingly trivial matter the grieving process can similar to bereavement. Its only later when you come to evaluate the relationship you come to see that it was very one sided. I speak from experience.

She sounds like a user, was it a one sided friendship?

am I missing something just a tad. Without actually telling you to do one, she couldn’t be plainer that she doesn’t want your friendship.

This was probably always a one-way friendship and you are of no use to her now.
Time to leave her behind and enjoy the company of proper friends.

Thankyou to all who have commented. Sadly you're telling me what I already suspected, that the friendship is over.

I think the demise of the friendship started last year, when I had to take a step back due to my husband being ill.

I'll just leave things as they currently are, and see how it goes, but thanks for your replies.

Sadly your friendship seems to be over. You have tried your best, but it appears that since you couldn't give her a lift, regardless of how unwell you were, you were of no use to her.

When my BIL suffered from various cancers and kidney failure, we were there most days over the years supporting him and his wife. They had a son in London, who rarely came to visit and would phone us, telling us what we should be doing.
Many late night and early phone calls to take SIL to the hospital, were done willingly. After his death she ditched us! I had been seriously ill in hospital and she never came to visit, she lives five minutes away!
We haven't seen her for months, the last time was because she needed my help with an IT issue.
I thought we were good friends, obviously not!

When BIL was well enough to go on holiday, she would find excuses. The day before they were due to travel to Spain, she lost her passport. Now he is dead, she has been travelling all over Europe and her son frequently flies up to Glasgow to visit.
We learned a hard lesson there. It makes you reluctant to help in the future, although it was done out of love for my BIL.

Make a decision to take a step back, I am sure you will feel better in the long run.

Maybe you remind her of that sad time when her DH was ill and died and she doesn't want to be reminded?
Or she's not very nice. The estranged daughter suggests she has form

Either way I would leave her be and spend your energy on your own needs and other friends.

All the best.

Sadly it sounds as though, for her, the friendship is over now she is single.

MrOops mate lost his wife in an accident and we never see him anymore, he’s always out and about with various women.

They’re lives have changed and so maybe we don’t ‘fit’ anymore?

Sorry to say it, but I think you have to face the fact that this friendship is over. It's frustrating that she won't discuss things with you, and you do have the right to an explanation. Unless someone else acts a go-between, there is little more you can do.

Back away, the friendship is over, accept it