No manners. No more gifts.

JackK - Is it me, or have good manners disappeared?

I don’t think good manners have disappeared. Your neighbour has fed your cat for a weekend, and you have given her a gift. It was far more onerous and time consuming for her to feed your cat, rather than for you to (presumably) buy and give her a gift, frankly!

I would keep giving her gifts, while she feeds your cat, whether or not she gives you thanks or no thanks from her after she received your gift. Surely part of your thank you, was a happy healthy cat on your return?

🌷🌷🌷

Sodapop, I hope at least you got to keep the eggs! I’d have been happy with that. I offered to feed a neighbour’s two cats whilst she was visiting her daughter in New Zealand. She gave me a beautiful silk kaftan that didn’t fit. I wasn’t expecting anything as I offered.

I think everything has been covered.

And expect their pets to do so. Appalling.

I’ve just cat sat for a neighbour in an emergency, the litter tray was filthy and the cat unwell, there wasn’t an empty sink or shower I could use to clean it. Until I had emptied the sinki had to climb over her decorating mess to get the the room the rescue cat was captive in. She knew I was on chemo and therefore compromised and vulnerable. But I couldn’t get a word in edgewise during her 7 minute request.
Two other neighbours were looking after her other two cats. I pulled the short straw but I won’t do it again even for a bottle of Prosecco after 5 days.
How can people live like this.

you have just had a thankyou , she is probably on gransnet.
But I do agree manners have gone out of the window.
However we have a family member that expects a thankyou card for a thankyou card??

Sorry have realised you gave a gift as well . My apoolgies

I wouldnt think of a bag of clothes intended for others a gift.

People just expect everything instantly these days.

Every day I see threads on mumsnet where someone is deeply upset because they havnt received a text or whatsapp within XX hours. Jeeze. I work on a 24-48 hour basis to respond to emails until its an absolute emergency. People have other stuff to do and there is this thing called "forgetting".There is also something called "patience".

Social media FOMO has made everyone so insecure.

You will just cause yourself pain. Let it go.

re the unwanted flagstones; they were also doing you a favour to take them away, so perhaps you should have thanked them.
or maybe you were just quits.
things can get byzantine in expectations of elaborate thanking rituals.
a bit like a japanese neighbour; leave taking was so elongated by endless bowing, even after getting in car and driving away.
there is no virtue in taking offence where none is intended.
it's good to relax, view life with a wry smile.

I wouldn’t be bothered either way as to whether she said thank you for the thank you gift, but I do wonder why you didn’t give the gift and clothes donations to her in person rather than just depositing them on her doorstep, I just wonder if whilst happy to help/be neighbourly maybe she feels that you prefer to keep your interactions with her at a distance so to speak ?

I’m like you I expect a reply lol but unfortunately not everyone does. My builder had pulled up some flagstones i put them up free to pick up had few replies and a young couple turned up and just started to load them up i opened my door and said i guess you were the person i was chatting to online his reply yep and that was it they carried on and took off not one word of thanks. Myself i would have knocked on door said here to pick up and after done would have knocked and said thanks but guess not everyone like me

After 4 hours you were complaining? You appear to be self centred...maybe your neighbour was busy with her life admin!

Maybe she's a gransnetter and saw your query here

I would have thanked you. Definitely

I would have liked a thank you in return for the gift.

...what are you going to do about it...not allow her to look after your cat, the next time you need her help, because she didn't say thank you?

Oh, she did you a favour. That is the important thing, really.

She thanked you, lucky you I didn't get a thank from someone to whom I gave £100.00 toward the new baby nursery.

She did you a favour, you gave her a thank you gift, end of really.

Have to say I was embarrassed when my neighbours gave me a thankyou gift for feeding their cat. The pleasure had been all mine til then!

I would definitely say thank you for the gift with a ‘you really don’t need to. It’s no bother at all.’

harrigran

You thanked her with a gift, end of.
My sister does this "thank you for the thank you card" and gets upset if she doesn't get an acknowledgement 🤨

yup, what next? thank you for the thankyou for the thankyou for the thankyou?