A close friend died a few years ago and I am in touch with her adult daughters.
One invited me to coffee, to thank me for help with her mother’s probate. My daughter and I met up with her second daughter as they have children in the same class at school – this was the suggestion of the second daughter.
I message them both on the anniversary of my friend’s death and just recently on what would have been her 80th birthday.
Both have said they would like to meet up for coffee.
My last recollection was that they do not get on!
Do I ask them If their relationship has improved, and how should I phrase that?
Whatever the answer, should I say that I am in touch with their sister?
If they have a better relationship, do I suggest that the three of us meet up?
Gransnet forums
AIBU
Do they post on Facebook or similar? If they do then you could probably get an idea from their posts if there is ongoing contact between them. If that course of action feels too much like spying 
then try phoning the one you know best and ask her the questions you posted above
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