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AIBU

AIBU in assuming I’ll get fresh cutlery between courses?

(46 Posts)
Stoker48 Wed 10-Jul-24 19:53:55

Currently enjoying a rather lovely coach trip through Brittany.
We are staying in a newish, mid range hotel. Standards of cleaning good, rooms large and airy, swimming pool etc.
AIBU in being surprised when asked to retain used cutlery between courses in the restaurant?
They take your first course plates away and you are left holding a used knife and fork.
There’s no where to put it other than back on the table, either on the cloth which it dirties or the table itself which doesn’t seem that hygienic.
Is it the thing abroad?
Thank you

CV2020 Sun 21-Jul-24 20:49:08

This happens in Indian restaurants in UK also. I just asked for fresh cutlery- dropping on floor if required!

Grantanow Sun 21-Jul-24 17:20:46

Quite usual in most restaurants in France. Never worried me.

Joseann Sun 21-Jul-24 13:49:35

5*

Joseann Sun 21-Jul-24 13:48:31

I disagree. This is the * Hotel Barrière in Dinard where I stayed last month. (Photo of me for authenticity). You will notice 2 sets of fresh cutlery on the tables. Also in the brasserie.

grandtanteJE65 Sun 21-Jul-24 13:32:33

Well, by British standards you are not unreasonable, but nowhere on the continent of Europe that I have ever been are you given fresh cutlery between courses either in restaurants or private homes.

If there is not a little china bridge like thing beside your plate to rest the cutlery on, you fold your table napkin and put your knife and fork down there between courses. Or place them on a side plate if one is included in the place setting.

Baggs Sat 13-Jul-24 11:18:56

WelwynW, that reminds me of a "rule" DD found as a child. I forget where/in what but it was something about table etiquette, I think:

"Bite not thy bread but break it."

WelwynWitch3 Sat 13-Jul-24 11:14:05

Standard practice in France and many other countries in Europe. We have spent summer in France for 40 years and I don’t even remember having butter on side plate for bread let alone knife to cut bread, just a roll or some baguette and you break a piece off as and when.

Joseann Thu 11-Jul-24 14:02:01

Here in Brittany.

Scribbles Thu 11-Jul-24 14:01:54

RosiesMaw2

Ooooooh!
Buttered digestives and a good strong cheddar too. Mmmmm.

Ooh, yessss! Also good with vintage red Leicester 🙂.
Got to be unsalted butter, though.

Back on topic, I've encountered the retained cutlery thing in France and several other European countries but the only time I've been expected to also retain the plate was at a tiny Indian restaurant in Bloomsbury, London.
In this era of efficient dishwashers and easily available good stainless steel cutlery, I see no reason to not have fresh cutlery for each course.

Joseann Thu 11-Jul-24 14:01:22

True.
Little pats of butter with our oysters and prawns too! Plus, all sorts of cutlery tools for getting the shells open! 🦐 🦀 🦞

welbeck Thu 11-Jul-24 13:55:10

well, they would; they're celts, aren't they ?
sensible people.

Joseann Thu 11-Jul-24 13:52:33

The Bretons eat butter, usually salted, with everything, including cheese.

Grandmafrench Thu 11-Jul-24 13:46:00

It's not unreasonable to be surprised, it's a normal event but depends how much you have travelled in France. Some big hotels and restaurants will change the cutlery after your first course, but almost everywhere else you hold on to your knife and fork until your main course arrives. In some ways it makes sense and is far less irritating than finding one of your party is short of a fork or knife when hot food arrives.

It's almost an offence not to have bread on the table with a meal in France and the basket is refilled as necessary (and you don't pay extra for bread). Wiping your used cutlery on bread before parking it on your napkin or the tablecloth is the way to go. The tablecloth is meant to be laundered and clean after service, there are no side plates for bread, so this too is often put down directly onto the cloth, once it's been taken out of the bread basket. Butter is sometimes offered on the table in tourist areas but only if you are singled out as British.

Eating yummy stuff like Brie and Digestives, with or without butter (!!!) might well be a treat, but cheese in a restaurant is the course before pudding in France. It is eaten on its own, to cleanse the palate, so unless there is bread left and someone still hungry, crackers, butter, biscuits, bread don't normally form any part of the cheese course here.

Enjoy your holiday, Stoker48

Joseann Thu 11-Jul-24 13:36:44

I just looked at a photo from this summer in a restaurant in France and we seem to have cutlery for every course! Hmmm??
(That's the buffet starter btw).

RosiesMaw2 Thu 11-Jul-24 12:57:31

Ooooooh!
Buttered digestives and a good strong cheddar too. Mmmmm.

Charleygirl5 Thu 11-Jul-24 12:56:00

GrannyGravy how odd. I automatically assumed this happened in every Harvester. My "local" is on the outskirts of London so I may ask the next time I visit.

Nannarose Thu 11-Jul-24 12:40:40

Also in France, you don't usually get the kind of dinner with gravy that is traditional in the UK. A cassserole or similar is meant to be eaten with bread and the last traces mopped up. Something like a chop or sliced meat would mostly be moistened with a little 'jus'.
So usually, no need to lick the plate (even though I sometimes want to!)
Most french cheeses are softer than ours, and butter would spoil the taste and texture. I don't think I've ever been offered biscuits rather than bread with cheese in France. I have been at a meal where 'grandpere' was very fond of Gouda, and would have a little butter with it. When I was young, my friend's father was constantly teased - despite being a proud Frenchman in all respects, he didn't like cheese, and would only ever smear a little 'vache qui rit' on his bread! I was young enough to love the cheese offered to children - plain fromage frais (which was then unavailable here) which you were allowed to whip up on your plate with sugar or jam (and yes, clean with bread after!)
I also remember the sadness on the summer I was deemed too old to be offered the 4pm 'gouter' of bread and chocolate and must be grown up and wait for dinner!

Baggs Thu 11-Jul-24 10:33:03

welbeck

i've never not.
only been in uk. and ireland.
i'd ask for butter if not given.
don't like dry crackers.

I'd ask for butter too. At home I have Emmentale on buttered Hobnobs sometimes 😋

Re-using cutlery that's only been used by me wouldn't bother me, especially if there was bread to wipe them on. Forks you can (and surely do?) clean as you offload them inside your mouth.

If I was concerned about putting the used cutlery down, I'd just hold them in whichever hand wasn't reaching for my wine/water glass.

Iam64 Thu 11-Jul-24 08:38:26

It’s the norm in France.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 11-Jul-24 07:46:57

Charleygirl5

If you dine at a Harvester in this country it happens there too. I do not like it.

Never been asked to reuse cutlery in the Harvester at the end of my road 🍴

fancythat Thu 11-Jul-24 07:31:21

Went to a UK hotel for an overnight stay recently.
Hotel not at all busy.
We were asked too.
A person I went with was quite affronted.
The staff[and maybe owners] were from Pakistan, if that made any difference.

Calendargirl Thu 11-Jul-24 06:39:18

When younger, I had a friend who, if you had a meal at her house, you kept the same plate for first course and pudding.

Bit awkward scooping up all the gravy….didn’t want to mix it up with the custard.

eazybee Thu 11-Jul-24 05:20:44

Yes it is customary, and no, I don't like it either.

nanna8 Thu 11-Jul-24 00:41:03

Mostly we get fresh cutlery between courses here, though in some places you just get chopsticks for the lot. You can ask for cutlery and then you would get a dessert spoon and fork. Never butter with cheese and biscuits - why would you ? Also if you have soup they sometimes give you butter with your bread, sometimes not.

welbeck Thu 11-Jul-24 00:23:30

i've never not.
only been in uk. and ireland.
i'd ask for butter if not given.
don't like dry crackers.