Respectful Debate…,where’s it gone?

Dinahmo

N & P is the forum that bets most going people going. The regulars generally have strong and sincere views. This is important because politics affects our lives.

Those GNers who post regularly about politics and may be quite forceful with their opinions are usually very kind and considerate on the other fora.

So, if you do like the strong opinions expressed on N & P it would probably be better to steer clear of it.

I have absolutely zero issue with anyone’s strong and passionate views and opinions.

It’s aggression and sheer rudeness that I completely object to, I’m not a sensitive flower and I have strong opinions too, but I do my best not to become personal.

MissInterpreted

I don't mind a decent debate, but there are always some who take it a step too far. I now find myself also bowing out when things get to that stage, although sometimes I do find it hard.
On a separate, but perhaps related note, I have noticed a couple of regular and frequent posters have 'gone missing' as of late. Maybe I've missed something (we have been away in our motorhome quite a bit recently), but I'm wondering if something happened to make them leave?

There’s one in particular, I’m a tad worried about her and hope she’s ok

RosiesMaw2

I DID try with my women-only Olympic events, but few wanted to join in… 🛼🤾‍♀️🧘‍♀️🏊‍♀️🤽‍♀️

I joined in! I love a bit of tongue in cheek humour

I wonder if it's the same one I'm thinking about, Cossy.

Cossy

MissInterpreted

I don't mind a decent debate, but there are always some who take it a step too far. I now find myself also bowing out when things get to that stage, although sometimes I do find it hard.
On a separate, but perhaps related note, I have noticed a couple of regular and frequent posters have 'gone missing' as of late. Maybe I've missed something (we have been away in our motorhome quite a bit recently), but I'm wondering if something happened to make them leave?

There’s one in particular, I’m a tad worried about her and hope she’s ok

Yes - I can think of one poster who disappeared following a polarised discussion. I don’t share her politics but I wish she’d reappear
There’s also Gloriannie - she’d usually be shouting at me on the boxing thread. I hope they’re ok

Yes I am missing her shouting at me too.

Thanks for reminding me of happier times on Gransnet. I used to be in the Argy a lot in those days. It's true we don't have the laughs we used to have that were so good for the soul.

Respectful debate has gone the same way as tolerance for others and the humour. I used to blooming love Gransnet. Not only for the reading club and competitions of years ago, the visiting authors and Q & A sessions with well known personalities, etc. We also had interesting, supportive and fun threads - even GNHQ would join in. I may well have my rose-tinted specs on but just take a look at this from a different Olympics.

www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/1228552-The-Gransnet-Olympics

It’s very different now. So many angry threads that seem full of prejudice, misinformation, and sniping. Even the lighthearted ones end up with people being made miserable. And not just in N & P, which was always a bit of a bear pit for the unwary.

Yes, a lot of the regulars have gone or rarely post, and I think the state of the forum is the main reason. It’s miserable. And life’s too short.

Well I just hope those “missing” re-appear and are ok.

Bring back humour x

AGAA4

Thanks for reminding me of happier times on Gransnet. I used to be in the Argy a lot in those days. It's true we don't have the laughs we used to have that were so good for the soul.

I keep reading about that so put a search on it.
😂Wish I hadn’t found it as I nearly wet myself reading it, particularly comments by yourself, and posters ixion, grandmajet ,doodle, Pogs and Merlotgran.There are very many threads on it and all run to 1.000 comments each.

I occasionally dip into the P debates in N&P threads. I mentally psyche myself up for a bit of disagreement, but it doesn't really worry me too much! Once it starts to get nasty, I opt out.
It's a shame when News items become unpleasant, especially when contributing posters want to express their opinions or talk about their own experiences. Some criticisms can be very harsh. It seems to me that there is an overwhelming desire to be right pervading GN at the moment. There's only one way, and that is their way. This doesn't give others room to explore their own feelings when chatting.
Humour is definitely lacking. Even if you try to make a thread a bit more lighthearted after some frostiness, you can get ticked off or ridiculed.

You’ve got me looking too - 25 pages of the Gransnet Olympics and not a single grumble- one deletion though of what was clearly an intruder!
Happy Days- lovely to see some names we no longer see

It would be nice if people could speak kindly to each other and respect each other's views.

Telling someone that they are wrong is unlikely to change anyone and only make them argue back , but reasoning with them or asking them questions may help them examine their facts and beliefs, or possibly you may also gain more understanding of the issue.

Anything that promotes understanding and tolerance is helpful. We can't always think the same, but we can agree to disagree and can always have respect and kindness for others.

I was wondering too Cossy ? Missing in action

Not all of it was good old days though, I left for a while because of a poster no longer with us having a a nasty go at me in my very early days I m told it was her sense of humour I was also deemed a wicked old witch by a poster who liked to ‘fly through the air with her handbags’ remember her ? I also remember a poster who came back with a new name being extremely vitriolic to a good few posters and upsetting a lot

I think we tend to remember the good bits and wipe out the bad it wasn’t all flowers and wine

Sadly even nostalgia isn’t what it used to be

Cossy

Well I just hope those “missing” re-appear and are ok.

Bring back humour x

The sad thing is we'll never know, unless someone is in touch with posters in real life.

sadly there will never be respectful debate on here when some people cannot accept that their views are not shared by everyone.

They then resort to calling people horrible names who think differently. Knuckle draggers, thugs, racists, morons, lacking in compassion etc are just a few of their choice labels.

I read a post elsewhere today from an elderly lady who said she is very quiet, well mannered and non aggressive but whenever she gives her opinion - which is that we need to close our borders like many other countries and sort out our own problems first - she is pounced upon and called a racist or other horrible name. That is despite her having mixed race grandchildren.

They then resort to calling people horrible names who think differently. Knuckle draggers, thugs, racists, morons, lacking in compassion etc are just a few of their choice labels

I have never seen these on GN and would sincerely hope not to.
I don’t engage with people who use such epithets in RL and would see no reason to change my habits on line.

RosiesMaw2

^They then resort to calling people horrible names who think differently. Knuckle draggers, thugs, racists, morons, lacking in compassion etc are just a few of their choice labels^

I have never seen these on GN and would sincerely hope not to.
I don’t engage with people who use such epithets in RL and would see no reason to change my habits on line.

These are just from today RosiesMaw2. Aren’t they dreadful?

Maggiemaybe

Respectful debate has gone the same way as tolerance for others and the humour. I used to blooming love Gransnet. Not only for the reading club and competitions of years ago, the visiting authors and Q & A sessions with well known personalities, etc. We also had interesting, supportive and fun threads - even GNHQ would join in. I may well have my rose-tinted specs on but just take a look at this from a different Olympics.

www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/1228552-The-Gransnet-Olympics

It’s very different now. So many angry threads that seem full of prejudice, misinformation, and sniping. Even the lighthearted ones end up with people being made miserable. And not just in N & P, which was always a bit of a bear pit for the unwary.

Yes, a lot of the regulars have gone or rarely post, and I think the state of the forum is the main reason. It’s miserable. And life’s too short.

QuoteMaggiemaybe Thu 04-Aug-16 19:57:11
I'll sort all your visas out as well. It's only taken me 4 hours today trying to upload an acceptably glum photo to the Passport Office (20 rejected and counting). At that rate we'll be ready to go by the 2024 games.

😂

Did you get your passports and visas in time to go to the 2024 Olympics, Maggiemaybe?

It was touch and go, Callistemon (though sadly, I didn’t get tickets). Online application had just come in, and I had over 50 photos rejected. With reasons such as “It looks like your head is too big” (rude ).

It’ll soon be time to do it all again, but I know it’s sorted now. When I did DH’s renewal, I just snapped a quick photo to test the system and it was accepted straightaway. It makes him look about 103, and not a little weird.

For the first four or five years I was on GN, the N&P discussions were generally arguments based on facts and figures and we all respected different views.

Then around the second half of 2015, it all took a turn for the worse so by early 2016 debates regarding our EU membership became much more polarised and I began to see frequent personal attacks.

For taking a strong pro-EU position, I was subjected to so much vile abuse that I did have to resort to reporting some, which I was reluctant to do.

After the fraudulent referendum, many of the worst pro-leave posters disappeared.

Since then we have of course discovered the extent of foreign influence in that vote, and although it was hard to believe that Russian bot factories were targeting GN, I suppose we can't rule it out.

I'm afraid that was the beginning of increased polarisation in UK politics and it is certainly still with us - just look at the riots of the last few days.

I think you are talking about two different things. The threads like the argy bargy one are quite different to discussions of serious topics. If there are less argy bargy type threads that is because not many people have started or joined them, not because they have been abandoned or closed down due to insults or unpleasantness.
The serious discussion threads have got very personal at times, really unpleasant, but that is not the same as lacking humour.

Maggiemaybe

It was touch and go, Callistemon (though sadly, I didn’t get tickets). Online application had just come in, and I had over 50 photos rejected. With reasons such as “It looks like your head is too big” (rude ).

It’ll soon be time to do it all again, but I know it’s sorted now. When I did DH’s renewal, I just snapped a quick photo to test the system and it was accepted straightaway. It makes him look about 103, and not a little weird.

😂😂😂

I remember the woman in the Post Office criticising my passport photo when I took it in for a check years ago.

Apparently, my head is a funny shape, which caused great amusement; she showed it to her colleague and they both tittered. How rude!

I sent it off myself anyway and it was accepted.

I meant the thread in general when I said "you" not any poster in particular.