Feeling mugged off but do I have the right to?

how about you being 'selfish' for a change.
just say no.
that'll shake them up.
you don't have to do anything.
is your life so much less valuable than theirs.
and they likely have more years ahead of them.
your husband was right; don't do it.

When my (ex) husband and I were both working we eventually employed a live in mother's help during the long school holidays to get over the childcare issues. We interviewed either face to face or by telephone depending on where they lived. Once we had filtered it down to 2 possibles, we invited them (separately) to spend a weekend with us.

We started the process in the spring if I remember correctly.

The one who eventually came to us carried on coming for the next couple of years.

This was our way of getting around the sticky childcare issues and school holidays, because there was no way, ever in a million years, I would have expected, or asked, either set of parents do undertake childcare duties for any length of time- other than perhaps the odd day here and there. It's easy to forget that your parents are not the parents that raised you, they're older, with possible health issues and with a life of their own. (Even though I trusted them more than anyone else).

The relationship between GC and their GP's should be one of love, joy, fun and the creation of a treasure chest of happy memories. I just feel that burdening GP's with childcare duties can easily sour that relationship a bit.

Unless of course you offer to look after your GC without prompting and are happy to do so.

The OP reluctantly agreed to looking after children and now unwittingly find they are pet sitting as well.

Agree with most of the others here, probably too late to back out of the childcare, but a big NO to the puppy.

....and GC have gone to it this summer as both parents work

Daddima

I agree with others that they do seem inconsiderate, but, once again, you have to state your case clearly. Should there really appear to be absolutely no alternative, then I think you have to agree to do it this time, but make it clear that this is the last time. The puppy going back to the breeder sounds like a good idea, even if only during the day.

You've said yes - but not to the puppy. I do sympathise, so hard to say no.

I don't think many AC's realise how difficult it is when you get older and struggle.

As regards holiday clubs and such like, the problem is they tend to be earlier in the summer holidays and unlikely to cover that last week.

My GC nursery that they all went to until school still takes them when they are older until age 6 but of course they knew the nursery.

The breeder may see the dollar signs light up.

I recall having to beg and pay a neighbour to take one of my children for a morning when I was crawling about vomiting. No family help, no nothing.

Sorry but it annoys me. I don't think its possible to " have it all"

MissAdventure

If I was the puppy breeder, absolutely no way would I allow a tiny puppy to go to people who are planning to work immediately.

No, neither would I. Although it could be that the parents have been, shall we say, 'economical with the truth' about what their home situation will be once the puppy arrives...

If I was the puppy breeder, absolutely no way would I allow a tiny puppy to go to people who are planning to work immediately.

I agree with others that they do seem inconsiderate, but, once again, you have to state your case clearly. Should there really appear to be absolutely no alternative, then I think you have to agree to do it this time, but make it clear that this is the last time. The puppy going back to the breeder sounds like a good idea, even if only during the day.

MissAdventure

I expect that'll be another dog destined to spend it's time shut away in the kitchen, because nobody has taken the time to train it.

Horrifying and with 2 small children.

vegansrock

This is just too much. 5 days in a row. I’d say yes to one day, then they’ll have to take a couple of days off work each or pay someone. The in laws chose the right week to go away! Tell them now so they’ve got a couple of weeks to sort it out.

They are both teachers so taking time off not an option.

I’d suggest they look at holiday clubs etc and ask the puppy breeder to hang into the puppy for a further week (however this does mean a poor puppy will be home alone for hours on end, not really fair on the puppy! Have they had puppies before? They are extremely time consuming those first few months!)

I expect that'll be another dog destined to spend it's time shut away in the kitchen, because nobody has taken the time to train it.

Yes it does seem that way MissA.

At others' expense, it seems.

Baggs

Makes me wonder what kind of teachers they are if they can be so apparently thoughtless of others.

Ambitious and determined possibly.

They should have arranged appropriate child care months ago. I recognize how difficult this situation is but it is their situation not yours !?
They are not considering you at all.

Awful , a very hard lesson for some of us to learn ,but we simply must put our selves and our health at the top of the list.

They have salaries? They make plans? They make choices.

I hope you are able to navigate this situation in a good way.

Sounds like the In-laws timed their holiday really well.. I think your son and DIL should arrange local childcare and delay getting the puppy until they can look after it properly.. Do they plan to leave it alone all day when they work?

A puppy when they both work, they are mad!!
They are asking FAR too much of you , you have your own health issues and mornings are particularly difficult for you ! Children are bouncing round at the crack of dawn.
Your husband is not well either - this seems like a recipe for disaster! As for the puppy that really is the last straw.
Being there for the children is asking too much but you have now promised so that will have to stand . As for the puppy I think you should say no and mean it ! They really are asking too much, as has already been mentioned perhaps the breeder can keep it longer?
Their children, their responsibility, their problem.
A puppy when they both work is not fair on that puppy, are they aware of the amount of training and time a puppy takes?

I am assuming the teacher parents work for a different education authority from their children hence the different term times. The first week back at school is the most important week in the whole school year, new class, new school, new teachers , new timetable, so there is no opportunity for the teachers to suddenly drop out of work to cover child care which should have been arranged months ago. And as for having a four and a six year old unsupervised in school for five whole days while their parents undergo training (most unlikely anyway); really?

I’m sure as it’s an education setting there will be some leniency, both of them attend part time that week on alternate days whilst the other looks after the children? or the school/college may even let them stay in another room (presumably they are in for training reasons? )

Makes me wonder what kind of teachers they are if they can be so apparently thoughtless of others.

Of course you have the right to do this. They have no right to be so self-centred.

You should use the "last minute puppy" as your excuse to say that you have both changed your minds, that you are upset that your health issues/needs are being ignored, and that they really need to be less selfish.

Both you and your hubby need to tell them NO, in big black capital letters that you will NOT be babysitting or puppy sitting, it's their choice to have kids and a gorgeous little puppy so THEY should look after them and not make excuses about their work, in-laws etc. They chose to be teachers so they know the sort of hours and schedules they'll have.

They can't expect you and hubby to drop everything for them when it suits them.

You both have health issues which also makes it awkward for you to look after them repeatedly and in a home that's not suitable to your needs.

Tell them you love them, their kids and their puppy but you're not their skivvy, you have your own lives to lead also!

It depends when they were asked NotSpaghetti. If they've only just been asked, I don't agree it's too late to say no.