Introvert and the struggle with others.

Sorry I don't know where to put this, I feel like it should be Mental Health, and it is a bit long so again, sorry.

Why do people try so hard to be my friend long after I have checked out???

I am an introvert married to an extrovert. With a side dish of ADHD, and the Menopause brain.
Some days I feel exiled to hades.
My first husband gave me extreme PDSD when it came to socializing. He was so social, I was left behind, he refused to understand or tolerate my complete and debilitating aversion to being social. He cheated, he got caught we divorced.
I was on my own for 7 years raising my young teenage daughter. At first it was lonely but slowly I learned to enjoy it. I got to know my 2 neighbors, but kept them at arms length and only sat on their front stoop from time to time to visit.
Enter husband number 2. Dream man. He gets me. He has also helped me come out of my vault and learn to be around some good people. I have made 2 very dear friends. These dear friends have been amazing, they know I am their friend and they know I do not need them to be in my hip pocket, nor do they expect me to be in theirs. Friends from a distance but always there when needed. Love them dearly. As well they are both married and as couples we enjoy doing things together when we are all feeling it.
My issue is I have 2 other people I just can not get to leave me alone. 1 is a guy I tried to date between my marriages, it was short, but we tried to retain a friendship and he became friends with my husband. He got weird and needy, and then he moved away, like 500 miles away. I was happy to see him go, as I just did not care about him. He has been gone for over 6 years but still calls my husband (I have blocked him, I seriously just could not deal). He makes himself a nuisance by phoning my folks, and responding like an idiot to my daughters' FB pages. We have all put him on ignore. He has nothing to say, he lives a very nothing life and will not help himself out. (over 60 with nothing to show for it). Maybe I am a judgey "B" but I have no interest. (enter the mental issues an introvert and a person with ADD struggle with ...small talk...hate it and just can't do it)
I have told husband he needs to let this person go, and let him find new friends because he keeps insisting to my husband that he needs to talk to me. I won't give in (Taurus here too darn stubborn for my own good)
So this person haunts me
Second person, a neighbour. We became friendly with her and her husband over 3 years ago, socializing started as a bunch of the neighbours sitting in the back lane during covid having a beer while social distancing. (1 of these neighbours is the one I have known forever and spent some time with while I was single, a woman who accepts me for the social dope that I am though at times she does force her way into my bubble unwanted but she is not needy)
Sounds fun right! Not to me! It was tough and often I did not join, or I would join then sneak off to my house after an hour. Things got friendly to the point that we started to camp together. She then started to be like a stalker and every time we came home she had to come over and stand in the lane and make small talk with us. I managed because part of this social group was my daughter and her husband and her kids. But things got messy because a verbal fight broke out between 2 of the males. And some of the neighbours parted ways. However husband and I and my kids held on to the one pair with the stalker wife. But it was a demanding friendship and then things got messy between my Son In Law and the neighbours so they parted ways. This left me in the middle. Family vs stalker too friendly neighbour. I did my best to work with both but I struggled. The neighbour started to command my time, and started to orchestrate backyard BBQ's which naturally excluded my daughter. This did not sit well with me. And I know for a fact it was often a manipulated exclusion of my daughter and family
Last September I was asked by my dearest friends to Officiate their wedding. I accepted and it was a secret but they asked if I would help with the planning. Of course, as I love this couple. So I had to pull away from the neighbours (but I was happy to)
Well this did not end well. The neighbour was relentless with my husband about my friendship with her. He explained to her (incidentally so had I in prior months) that I am a lousy friend and am terrible with social demands. She would not back off. She kept inviting and inviting (through my husband). I kept declining and even bowed out of camping because she was getting too needy. (She also wanted to have my 2 best friends and my out of town daughter in her greedy little social circle too but that failed her)

My husband said he would not stop being friends with the man, which is fine. I would never deny anyone a friend. However the needy wife just keeps texting my husband asking us to come over. My husband keeps explaining to her to not expect me.
Finally the wedding came and went. It was a 4 day out of town exhausting affair but for the sake of my amazing friends I hung in there. (while this took place, the annoying neighbour texted me her very ill cat had died. Ok but you texted my husband already why text me after weeks of no contact). I had not time for her.
We arrived home tired. Well we were barely 20 minutes home and my husband was texted, come to the pub we are mourning the loss of our cat. WELL HOLY HOT CROSS BUNS FROM HELL what?????? We just arrived home. That was a big NO. Well for the next 3 days she kept on my husband about coming over she needed a friend etc. Well I was ill, and the weather was lousy so we could not make it. Finally on day 4 we went over. Well it was a steady frown and zero pleasantries from her for an hour. This is fine, it's what I expected. I just do not have time for petty drama, and people thinking I will sway from my true self because of them. We heard her tell us how she has gone to all the other neighbours crying because she is so distraught over her loss. Well ok bravo, why do you need me.
My husband then proceeded to tell her it has been a tough summer for me because I had to keep the wedding a secret and I married my friends and it took a lot out of me. well she snapped out to us "I know @@@@@ told me".

Pleasure. See you around, I just can't.

That is the story of my struggle.
Of course I expect backlash for being an utterly shite friend. I do know I am that. I own that.

What I don't get, is why would one keep trying to be my friend after they have been told I am not able to be the person they want me to be. I honestly tried. I honestly explained myself to these 2. What more is there to parting ways. I am of the belief if I fake being friendly anymore they will expect more... oh wait that is exactly what happened, it was like I was leading them on.