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AIBU

Child screaming

(78 Posts)
Vintagejazz Tue 20-Aug-24 20:00:54

My friend has a grandchild who is always screeching and screaming when out playing. I have witnessed it at family events. Her parents never say anything, even when other people are wincing at the sound. She has no special needs, just an excitable child.

Apparently a neighbour recently came out onto the Green where they lived and asked this child to please keep the noise down. Daughter and my friend have taken huge umbrage at this. I am expected to sympathise with my friend but, quite frankly, having to listen to this child near my own home day in, day out, would drive me mad.

AIBU to think my friend and her daughter, and of course the child's father, should stop pandering to this and teach the child to show consideration to others. She is 9.

Janetashbolt Sat 31-Aug-24 12:56:08

I luce next door to a park, swings, slides etc. The high pitched screams go through me, all day during the holiday when the sun's out and my windows open.

Mindy5 Sun 25-Aug-24 19:35:49

My neighbour has a DC who screeches like a demonic possessed being at every opportunity. This is not just 'play noises', it's downright nasty, spoilt noises. I'm at the end of my tether having spent today listening to it. There is no discipline, no correction, nothing. What annoys me is that another neighbour has a SN child, who does scream, but she contains the noise and the child so that neighbours are not disturbed too much. I've begged my DH to move, I can't stand it any more.

Witzend Sat 24-Aug-24 13:14:54

IMO 9 is certainly too old to be screaming like this! My 2 elder Gdcs are 9 and 8 and I soon have Words if they ever start.

Allsorts Sat 24-Aug-24 13:08:51

Soon the child will have no friends. Who would ask her to tea?I agree with what Doodle has said and did the same.

MissInterpreted Sat 24-Aug-24 12:48:47

I agree, Calendargirl. Obviously it is an issue if more than one neighbour is commenting on it. It doesn't mean there's a 'campaign' against the GD, but maybe the time has come to address the issue head on.

Calendargirl Sat 24-Aug-24 12:22:38

Vintagejazz

Friend has just been on the phone. Apparently another neighbour stopped her daughter in the supermarket and asked if she can do something about her daughter screaming out on the Green. She said she literally cannot leave her front windows open on hot days because the sound is so bad.
My friend is now upset and saying there seems to be a 'campaign ' against her granddaughter. I said I was sure there wasn't but I've seen kids get carried away sometimes when they're playing and maybe her granddaughter doesn't realise she's making so.much noise. Friend just said she had to go as her groceries had arrived sad

Sounds like your friend just doesn’t want to accept her GD is an absolute pain in the b..t for the neighbours with her constant screaming when outdoors.

I think I would now be saying to your friend “ Well, it seems that more than one neighbour finds this an issue. If the cap fits….”

You’re doing her no favours by humouring her with non-commital comments really.

DancingDuck Thu 22-Aug-24 13:01:18

No you are not being unreasonable, the parents should be ensuring that the child understands what is reasonable behaviour for their age, screaming is not reasonable unless they are in danger/pain or have a disability.

Vintagejazz Thu 22-Aug-24 12:47:44

Friend has just been on the phone. Apparently another neighbour stopped her daughter in the supermarket and asked if she can do something about her daughter screaming out on the Green. She said she literally cannot leave her front windows open on hot days because the sound is so bad.
My friend is now upset and saying there seems to be a 'campaign ' against her granddaughter. I said I was sure there wasn't but I've seen kids get carried away sometimes when they're playing and maybe her granddaughter doesn't realise she's making so.much noise. Friend just said she had to go as her groceries had arrived sad

Doodledog Thu 22-Aug-24 11:13:27

Oreo

Toddlers and young kids will shout and scream, tho not all the time.The trend for older girls screaming comes from tv I bet, all the US shows about precocious young teens screaming with delight or surprise or something.Up to the parents to put a stop to but I’ve noticed that a lot of parents have no control whatsoever with their own kids.Send for ‘The Nanny’ she’d sort them out.

I agree with this. If you watch Big Brother (my not-remotely-guilty pleasure 😈) the first couple of episodes are unbearable as they screech and squeal on meeting and at the drop of a hat. They calm down afterwards, so it's not something they 'have to do'. I hate it.

As regards children, I find their screaming maddening too (#tolerant). There is no need for it. Laughter and a bit of shouting is to be expected when children play, but the screaming is unnecessary and inconsiderate.

If mine made too much noise in the garden (I don't remember actual screaming) they would be warned, on the second warning they were told they'd have to come indoors if it didn't stop, and I did carry out the threat. It happened more with visiting children, as mine knew I meant business - I think they were used to idle threats from their own parents.

Sandgrownun Thu 22-Aug-24 11:12:23

It is so sad to hear and seems screaming children are more common now. I was also surprised that the child is 9. We have neighbours a few houses away that play very loud club music all day, whenever the sun shines. We can hear it in the house with our windows shut! Their child screams a lot. We think this is because they are competing with the noise for attention or they are partially deaf owing to the constant exposure to loud music (it is extreme) and thus aren't aware of how loud they are being (it's so cruel to do that to a child). It may be that the parents scream at each other and the child a lot so the child copies. None of which are the child's fault.

It seems that children are not 'brought up' anymore. They're just left to fend for themselves in many aspects of life.
It seems likely it will be the same children who turn up at school unable to use a toilet, write their name, know which way up a book goes or use a knife and fork.

A number of years ago I worked in a nursery for a while and we had after-school 4 year olds. One was still in nappies for no other reason than the parents thought it was best to leave it until the child decided they wanted to use a toilet. This child had no disabilities and yet when the parents picked her up she would always be carried.

On the other hand I was on a SEND team for a number of years and the children constantly tried to reach milestones and do as much for themselves as possible. With the support of their parents and the SEND team at school the children achieved everything they were able. It was an integrated middle school and most of the pupils were keen to include the children in the unit. Nothing is perfect but if nobody tries it definitely won't be.

Tuaim Thu 22-Aug-24 08:54:33

The old adage was 'children should be seen and not heard'. In the modern world anything seems to go and we are expected to tolerate other people's children because they are expressing themselves.

harrigran Thu 22-Aug-24 08:34:16

Screaming seems to be much more prolific especially in supermarkets, I find it very irritating and make a point of turning and staring at the child and parent.
My children never did this at home or out of the house neither did my GDs, they understood " indoor voice ".

Vintagejazz Thu 22-Aug-24 07:40:43

CanadianGran

I remember my kids had a few friend that were screamers, both in delight and anger. I had no issue with asking them to stop while they were at my house.

But I don't think I would with strangers at a park. Mind you, the woman who lives near the park would be at the end of her patience, so I don't blame her for asking to keep the noise down. Too bad your friend and daughter didn't clue in that is isn't acceptable.

It wasn't in the park though. It was on the Green in a residential estate and right in front of people's houses. I imagine the Summer must have been very difficult for people living around the green and having to listen to her out there every day.

4allweknow Wed 21-Aug-24 21:46:38

Nowadays children don't seem to speak to one another, they shout and scream. Girls are the worst. I am sure we have a generation of young adults with reduced hearing and they don't realise how annoying all the high pitched screaming is. The shouting into mobile phones and music, tvs
played loudly are to me signs of reduced hearing.
The young generation will be even worse with all the constant noise from headphones added to the mix.
I can't recall for years hearing an adult tell a child to keep the noise down or stop screaming when outside - they probably have headphones on or earbuds in!

Elrel Wed 21-Aug-24 18:42:55

Various groups of children play outside my house. Recently the youngest, about 7, of a group of four was constantly screaming. I went out, said I was happy for them to play there but (as I told children in the playground when teaching) screaming means you are either badly hurt or very frightened. The older three nodded as I spoke, to my surprise the youngest apologised and stopped screaming.

Sennelier1 Wed 21-Aug-24 18:17:45

This child is 9 and still screaming during play? Any idea how she behaves at school? I've always told my children and now my grandchildren when to keep their voices down like while walking down corridors in a hotel or sitting in restaurants. If this 9 year old girl has no special needs she's just doing it for the attention and the parents should do something about it as soon as possible.

Calendargirl Wed 21-Aug-24 17:59:00

Indigo8

Calendargirl

I don’t think teenage girls screaming for a couple of hours at a Beatles concert 60 odd years ago is the same as a 9 year old constantly screaming when playing outside.

Not that I was ever at a Beatles concert however.

sad

I will consider my wrist well and truly slapped for wandering off topic.

No wrist slapping intended, sorry if it came across like that.

We can often wander off topic, I do it myself sometimes.

lizzypopbottle Wed 21-Aug-24 17:29:57

Good grief, Vintagejazz I thought the screeching child might be a three year old but she's nine years old! 😯 Surely that's not normal?

CanadianGran Wed 21-Aug-24 17:00:45

I remember my kids had a few friend that were screamers, both in delight and anger. I had no issue with asking them to stop while they were at my house.

But I don't think I would with strangers at a park. Mind you, the woman who lives near the park would be at the end of her patience, so I don't blame her for asking to keep the noise down. Too bad your friend and daughter didn't clue in that is isn't acceptable.

Cossy Wed 21-Aug-24 16:53:42

My nephew is 9, he can be a little b****r at times BUT he doesn’t scream or shout, if he did his mother would stop him immediately.

My teacher daughter wouldn’t allow this in her class of 5 year olds

grannybuy Wed 21-Aug-24 16:49:41

I’ve noticed that when passing a nearby school playground. Of course we want the children to have fun I’m the playground, but the the volume of screaming never ceases to surprise me.

Greciangirl Wed 21-Aug-24 16:45:58

Always seems to be a screamer in the supermarket, or crying and screaming.

Dianehillbilly1957 Wed 21-Aug-24 16:36:18

My children were taught to be aware that there are people who don't want to listen to them shouting and screaming for no reason and my grandchildren have been taught the same. If they are not taught this they will end up ignorant adults! No need to be screaming at 9 years old.

Vintagejazz Wed 21-Aug-24 15:58:55

Cambsnan

I am sure it is annoying but I don’t think you can approach someone else’s child. A friendly word with parents might have been better

I don't think my friend's daughter knows the neighbour, so the neighbour wouldn't have known what parent to approach or where they live.
From what I can gather she simply walked onto the Green one evening, explained that her baby was trying to sleep and asked her to stop screaming as they could hear it in their house. I don't think she told her off or anything.

silverlining48 Wed 21-Aug-24 15:23:46

If someone wears a hearing aid, or like my dh two aids every single scream is amplified and creates physical pain in his ears because of the terrible whistling of his aids.
Why parents allow their children to scream especially in closed spaces, is beyond me.