Six month Visit by Step daughter and granddaughter

MissAdventure

I don't blame you.
Built in baby sitting duties too, for 6 months.

Could your step daughter not find a nursery for her daughter,?

How does it stand with regard to education, for a four year old?

Yes, depending when she was four, she should be in education.
If her birthday was before the start of the school year she could be offered a place in your catchment area.

If not and the local school has a nursery attached, it might be worth asking if there is still a place available although they are few and far between.

Smileless2012

Why should the OP be the one to go out Norah?

She doesn't have to go out. Neither does she have to stay in and watch the baby. Where is Papa in this picture - he could step up.

I don't put up with bad behaviour - I'd leave her to sort herself.

When we went South to look after DGD for 3 years when DD went back to work it was my DH who did most of the child care, shopping and cooking......whilst I zoomed off here there and everywhere , setting up a business!!

I presume there will be a winter next year, so what will happen then? I would have to say it will be lovely to see them, but you really can’t look after her for six months, but will certainly try to help with a nursery place. Or you could do some assuming and ask which nursery she has arranged, and. wait for, ‘ I thought you would…….’

Just tell her how much childcare you are willing to supply ad tell her she will have to sort out something for the rest of the time

For example offer 2 days care but say you physically cannot do more. perhaps the loving grandpa could do the other 3.

madalene

I think I’d suggest that your granddaughter joins a nursery or school nearby as she needs the company of other children her own age at this stage and her life.

Thats what I felt too: at 4 she will want just what you say! 5 days a week until early afternoon. I'm also concerned about the apparent disappearance of the Childs father in all this.

Six months? 😫

Why should the OP be the one to go out Norah?

Your step daughter needs to organise a nursery for her D and if that's not possible, decide how she's going to give you and her father a break by them not being in the house with you 24/7.

There needs to be a discussion and agreement between you all about what her financial and practical contribution is going to be for the duration of her stay.

You don't have to entertain them and there's no reason why you can't let it be known how important periods of peace and quiet are to you.

Perhaps you could be unavailable daily, until mid afternoon? I'm sure you could go out with friends, walk your dog, shop.

Or perhaps your husband could spend time at home with his child? Maybe he could work from home and take care of his GC?

I think I’d suggest that your granddaughter joins a nursery or school nearby as she needs the company of other children her own age at this stage and her life.

Does the stepdaughter have a husband/partner? Does the four year old’s dad agree to this (if he’s around).

This woman is beyond entitled. And WFH too? Your heating and electric for her laptop/Zoom calls. Plus assuming (the absolute cheek of it) that you’ll just be on hand every day to entertain a four year old. Blimey.

Does she not realise you go out to swimming class/tai chi/bowls/knitting group/golf/walking netball and clay pigeon shoots? 😁

All that aside, what did your husband say to this imposition?

Is this intended to be a regular thing, to escape the winter? Is she planning to move over here? At four the child should be in full-time education, and as migrants are accepted I would imagine she is entitled to a place.
And how much did your husband know before she came?

If she's coming up for 5 you might even be able to get her into school in Reception year , it's certainly worth checking.

6 months!!!!!! . That is a very tall order indeed and disruptive for a four year old. You are in a difficult situation but I hope you are able to talk to your step daughter and your DH and come to a reasonable arrangement. It is unreasonable of your SD to expect you to baby sit while she WFH. Lovely to have them but ...............

Gosh - wow! Can't believe they did not specify and ask nicely! And come to an agreement about money and child care.

Cheeky not to ask. It’s her dd and her responsibility to look after the child. Have you actually asked step daughter what she had in mind? If it’s that you can look after gd all the time you have to say no. However as others have suggested there are positive solutions such as nursery and childcare which you can make her aware of. Whatever you need to make arrangements that suit you all.

My jaw dropped when you said 6 months. Surely she would have spoken to her father about the length of stay. I'm sorry but I find it almost inconceivable that no timeline (even loosely) was discussed beforehand. She's basically moving in for half a year! You don't do that without some sort of notice. I'd be furious. Has she stayed before and if so how long for?

. In most countries children start school later than here. Usually 5, 6 or even 7 but it’s worth an ask, definitely let the mother know of any nurseries locally so she can get in touch with them.
Then you won’t have the responsibility of looking after the little girl while her mother works from home 🏠.

How rude of her, I hope she’s contributing to the household expenses in a proportionate manner.
I don’t think it’s fair to move a 4 year old away from her friends and nursery or schooling provision either. Are there other relatives and what say does the father have?

Thanks for that, will definitely look into local nursery availability, even a couple of free days would help.

Can a four year old be out of the education system for that long?
Which country's rules apply.

Unless homeschooling is on the cards, too.

Yes. A nursery is an excellent choice.
I'd even pay for it if I had to!

6 months! 😱

I don't blame you.
Built in baby sitting duties too, for 6 months.

Could your step daughter not find a nursery for her daughter,?

How does it stand with regard to education, for a four year old?