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Advice needed please!

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Kate1949 Tue 31-Dec-24 00:03:06

You are all so nice. I would be devastated if my daughter did that. Maybe if she has a daughter of her own she will feel differently. Yes it's their day. Yes she should do what she wants. Of course. Why would it hurt to have a couple of members of your family there, especially your mum.

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NotSpaghetti Mon 30-Dec-24 23:48:49

I also know someone who married in secret and told her mum and sister nearly six months later.
They were both fed up and hurt about it but she wanted absolutely no fuss.

You are not alone but the hurt will pass. It's more important that they are happy.

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LadyGaGa Mon 30-Dec-24 23:30:56

It is a bit hurtful, but she’s given you her reasons and they are understandable. Do you like her partner? If so, just be pleased that she has found someone she loves and wish them well. Offer to help and say you’ll look forward to the photos. I would be a bit disappointed too, but you don’t want it spoil her day, so if it were me I would try to keep it to myself.
Are you able to plan a celebration with them afterwards?

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nanna8 Mon 30-Dec-24 23:01:48

I suppose all you can say is it is her day and if that is what she wants, so be it. One of mine got married overseas and didn’t tell anyone until afterwards because she couldn’t stand the fuss. Don’t be hurt, just wish her and her future husband well.

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JulieMc Mon 30-Dec-24 22:54:02

Hi everyone, please help me come to terms with something very hurtful with any advice you can share.
I have 3 grown up children, 2 boys & 1 girl, all living with their partners. I am long divorced (not amicably) from their Father & have remarried. My daughter, middle child, is getting married in September & has not invited me or her brothers & partners to her wedding, nor her Father & Step Mother. Instead, she & her Fiance prefer to invite 3 close friends. To say I'm devastated is an understatement. I have always shared a close & loving relationship with my daughter & cannot understand why they have decided this.
We have spoken about it & although I think she realises I'm disappointed, I don't think she understands quite how much. She has outlined her reasons - wanting a very quiet, small wedding, no awkwardness between her Father & me but I am still finding it difficult to deal with. Her brothers are equally baffled but less hurt than I am.
Please help if you can. Thank you

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