Boarding school

Greyduster

Even if there was a secondary school at every British base abroad, it would not provide the stability that a boarding education can provide. I am only talking about the Army here; the RAF have longer post as a rule, but the average army posting is two to two and a half years. If the child comes into school at the start of secondary, he will be less than halfway through before he has to change schools with all the disruption that that entails. If he comes into school when he is part way through his GCSEs, he not only faces a change of syllabus, but possibly a new exam regime. It could even happen at a stage where exams are looming. It’s infinitely preferable for the child to begin his secondary education in a stable environment, to bed himself in socially and educationally and not have the disruption of changing schools at all. If I haven’t explained myself properly, I apologise, but how many parents would want to have to suddenly yank their children out of a school where they may be doing well academically, and then plonk them down again in a strange school that they might hate, with a different curriculum and exam regime? It’s not as if service parents have no control over which boarding school their children are sent to. We had reasonable choice based on the allowances we were entitled to.

Thank you.

I've never changed schools or homes, nor thought to disruption.

I'll ask next we visit Lakenheath - how their secondary school age children cope with the disruption of moving so often. Interesting innit, they move children to Suffolk, on low pay. Everyone has their own reasons, I suppose.

X post NonnaW

Norah

Greyduster

still wonder now why British forces don't have schools.

I think I’ve tried to explain this before. They do, but not beyond the age of 11. There are primary schools at most British military bases around the world, but when secondary education kicks in it’s a different ballgame. There are added difficulties with large NATO bases which have international communities.

I asked, I read what you posted prior to now.

I tried to work out why schooling can't be provided beyond age 11, it makes no sense to not provide well for workers' families.

Overseas postings are not for years and years. When the posting ended after eg two years and the family returned to the UK then the children would go to a local school.

It would be difficult, too, for RN families to accompany their husbands and fathers on a ship for a tour of duty.

Actually, having been married to an RAF man, we tended to move every 2 years. My 3 boys regularly changed schools. We asked our eldest if he’d like to go to boarding school, and suggested he chat to a friend who was a boarder. He decided against it (mainly because he would have to do schoolwork on a Saturday morning!), so we left it at that. He is still in contact with many old school friends, as is his brother.
Oh, and I might add I was extremely shy, but still managed the moving around.

Even if there was a secondary school at every British base abroad, it would not provide the stability that a boarding education can provide. I am only talking about the Army here; the RAF have longer post as a rule, but the average army posting is two to two and a half years. If the child comes into school at the start of secondary, he will be less than halfway through before he has to change schools with all the disruption that that entails. If he comes into school when he is part way through his GCSEs, he not only faces a change of syllabus, but possibly a new exam regime. It could even happen at a stage where exams are looming. It’s infinitely preferable for the child to begin his secondary education in a stable environment, to bed himself in socially and educationally and not have the disruption of changing schools at all. If I haven’t explained myself properly, I apologise, but how many parents would want to have to suddenly yank their children out of a school where they may be doing well academically, and then plonk them down again in a strange school that they might hate, with a different curriculum and exam regime? It’s not as if service parents have no control over which boarding school their children are sent to. We had reasonable choice based on the allowances we were entitled to.

Greyduster

^still wonder now why British forces don't have schools^.

I think I’ve tried to explain this before. They do, but not beyond the age of 11. There are primary schools at most British military bases around the world, but when secondary education kicks in it’s a different ballgame. There are added difficulties with large NATO bases which have international communities.

I asked, I read what you posted prior to now.

I tried to work out why schooling can't be provided beyond age 11, it makes no sense to not provide well for workers' families.

still wonder now why British forces don't have schools.

I think I’ve tried to explain this before. They do, but not beyond the age of 11. There are primary schools at most British military bases around the world, but when secondary education kicks in it’s a different ballgame. There are added difficulties with large NATO bases which have international communities.

Skydancer

I can never, ever understand why anyone puts work or career before their children. If you have them you should look after them. I did and we were poor but happy.

Good job we don't all think the same way then. Wanting to work or have a career isn't a bad thing, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you are putting that before your children. The days have long gone when women were expected to give up everything for their family. If someone choose to be a stay-at-home mum, then good for them. It's a bl**dy hard job and I couldn't have done it, so I take my hat off to anyone who chooses to do so. Thankfully, these days most women do have the choice. I would have gone stark raving mad being stuck at home with kids all day, so my children were far better off with a mother who had a career which she loved. They did not suffer because of that - quite the opposite, in fact.

It depends. Some boarding schools are better at education than others. Some boarding schools are better at protecting children from bullying than are some day schools.

Dickens

Norah

Dickens

Norah

I don't understand why people can't change jobs. However, I accept some don't wish to find different work, their choice.

Maybe because for some it can be more complicated than simply swapping one job for another?

I merely said I don't understand.

My husband never faced job swap complication. Quite lucky, really.

I merely said I don't understand

And I simply gave you a possible reason why for some - though clearly not for you - it's not always easy to just ^change jobs.^

Curious, may I ask why not? There are many jobs.

Perhaps I misunderstand the words change jobs.

I'd have hated it. I used to be terribly homesick even going on school residential trips

Grams2five

I wouldn’t have and didn’t send mine to boarding school and I wouldn’t have married a man who’s career made such a thing a necessary. If careers had meant we had to travel the world we would have , Never in a thousand years would I have considered it. I had children because I wanted to be with them and raise them as much as I could in the time I had I’ve never for a moment understood how or why anyone would choose to use boarding schools. Nannies and other things for daytime care i understand though never used it myself. But to have ones children actually live elsewhere is so terribly sad to me.

Well said . My point exactly. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

Norah

Dickens

Norah

I don't understand why people can't change jobs. However, I accept some don't wish to find different work, their choice.

Maybe because for some it can be more complicated than simply swapping one job for another?

I merely said I don't understand.

My husband never faced job swap complication. Quite lucky, really.

I merely said I don't understand

And I simply gave you a possible reason why for some - though clearly not for you - it's not always easy to just change jobs.

I can never, ever understand why anyone puts work or career before their children. If you have them you should look after them. I did and we were poor but happy.

Dickens

Norah

I don't understand why people can't change jobs. However, I accept some don't wish to find different work, their choice.

Maybe because for some it can be more complicated than simply swapping one job for another?

I merely said I don't understand.

My husband never faced job swap complication. Quite lucky, really.

Norah

I don't understand why people can't change jobs. However, I accept some don't wish to find different work, their choice.

Maybe because for some it can be more complicated than simply swapping one job for another?

A cousin of ours is a teacher at a very famous boarding/ Public school. It, like others has had a bad press from time to time. However it has changed with the times and is as happier a place as any.
Terms are relatively short, holidays are frequent, instant communication is available now and would that more children could enjoy the kind of life those girls and boys have.

I think we tend to hear on the media but also from "survivors" of the bad experiences that some people have had.
Good news doesn't sell .

There must be many who have thoroughly enjoyed their time at boarding school.

still wonder now why British forces don't have schools.

They do. Me and my brothers all went to RAF and Army schools in Germany and Singapore.

Galaxy

People choose their spouse for all sorts of reasons, I would have been unlikely to choose a spouse who was the lead singer of a rock band for example, if early in a relationship I realised that someones job meant moving around the country all the time I probably would have opted out, it is just not the type of person I am, it is fine for people to be different.

I agree.

A peripatetic life is not a choice I'd make, some would - we're all different.

Grams2five

I wouldn’t have and didn’t send mine to boarding school and I wouldn’t have married a man who’s career made such a thing a necessary. If careers had meant we had to travel the world we would have , Never in a thousand years would I have considered it. I had children because I wanted to be with them and raise them as much as I could in the time I had I’ve never for a moment understood how or why anyone would choose to use boarding schools. Nannies and other things for daytime care i understand though never used it myself. But to have ones children actually live elsewhere is so terribly sad to me.

Judgmental post.

I'd not have wanted to send any of mine to a boarding school, however they all went to day school with boarders, I did as well. Clearly most parents choose what they feel is best for their much loved children.

A peripatetic life wouldn't suit me as I'm extremely introverted plus shy. I feel fortunate we've never moved house. I suppose some must.

I don't understand why people can't change jobs. However, I accept some don't wish to find different work, their choice.

There was a recent thread about boarding schools. We live in East Anglia, near RAF Lakenheath - they've a school for the American children. I wondered then, still wonder now why British forces don't have schools.

Unfortunately Grams2five life doesn't always work out the way we would like it to.
And fortunately some people are more understanding of their fellow humans than you seem to be.
There were certainly people who thought my mother should have accepted her life as a poor widow and accepted charity towards our upbringing.
there was no widow's pension back then
Instead, she found a new country, a job and went back to university to get another degree to improve her status and earning ability.
All of her DC admire her for what she achieved even though we may not have had the easiest start and she was never the "motherly" type.

People choose their spouse for all sorts of reasons, I would have been unlikely to choose a spouse who was the lead singer of a rock band for example, if early in a relationship I realised that someones job meant moving around the country all the time I probably would have opted out, it is just not the type of person I am, it is fine for people to be different.

Grams2five

I wouldn’t have and didn’t send mine to boarding school and I wouldn’t have married a man who’s career made such a thing a necessary. If careers had meant we had to travel the world we would have , Never in a thousand years would I have considered it. I had children because I wanted to be with them and raise them as much as I could in the time I had I’ve never for a moment understood how or why anyone would choose to use boarding schools. Nannies and other things for daytime care i understand though never used it myself. But to have ones children actually live elsewhere is so terribly sad to me.

I didn't realise people chose a spouse based on that person's career choices...

We were a service family. No choice but to send DS to board at 11 or neither DH nor I would have considered it. He was a gregarious, energetic boy who loved sports so, for the most part, he enjoyed it. He spent half terms with my sister and her boys and enjoyed that too, and came to us for the long summer holiday and Christmas. He became a confident traveller. It can’t have been that bad because for some years afterwards he went to school reunions to meet up with old friends.
I still have ex-service friends I am in touch with and we have discussed this from time to time. We all agree that sending our children away to board was the hardest thing we had to do, but all of those children are decent, well-rounded individuals and weren’t scarred by the experience.