Do you like surprises?

I don't like surprises.

DH arranged a surprise arty for my 40th. I was not dressed for a party, and though it was lovely to see everyone I really did not enjoy it. So it's a 'No' from me.

I hate surprises.
My ex-husband had a wedding band made for me that was exactly the same as a friend of ours. When she had shown us the fancy band I said it was lovely and unique to be polite but when we left I said that it wasn’t my cup of tea and would hate to have one. Roll on my birthday and I got the same, there was an almighty argument. Also because it’s not fair on the friend to have something unique and then copied. My mum gratefully took it off my hands a couple of days later.

I feel for you.

Not an arranged marriage as we would perceive it these days, ie not in a cultural sense. Just that I was thoroughly stitched up by a mother who always 'knew best'. I was 18.

A relative who worked in banking told the story of a man who came in to order some Pesetas back in the day. He was very pleased with himself when he told us that his bride-to-be was expecting to be honeymooning in Weymouth but he had secretly booked a honeymoon in Spain.

She would not be pleased to have packed a suitcase of clothes suitable for Weymouth instead of hot-weather clothing for Spain. Surely a surprise that would backfire.

I don't like surprises one little bit.

A friend was agonising over her husband having an affair. Every time she walked into a room, he was whispering into his phone. Turned out he was arranging a surprise birthday party for her. When she arrived at the party and found out what was happening, she burst into tears of relief. It wasn't enjoyable for her.

Good grief. Was it an arranged marriage, may I ask?

I was given a surprise party for my engagement. Yes, dear readers, my soon-to-be fiance and all my family and friends had been invited by my parents and everyone (except me) had been told I was getting engaged. Looking back, it explains a lot ...

What is the worst thing you can do for someone who doesn't like surprises? Arrange a suprise party, tell them they have to get up now, won't give valid reason so you get up and drag on old clothes because washing is in the machine ready to go on line. That's done then told you're going out now. No time for breakfast. No time to have a shower and dragged out wearing old clothes and garden shoes. Then driven miles making a huge detour because idiot realises an hour early and you still have no idea why it's so important to go out. Not your Birthday until following week. Arrive and taken into tiny room with lots of people yelling when you walk in. Burst into tears and demand to be taken home. Cousin takes you off to calm you down; she had questioned the wisdom of a surprise party as she knows you well. Your hair is greasy and hasn't seen a brush. Your friend has booked a room so takes you in for shower. You still have to put your old clothes back on.
Most miserable day of my life. Each and every guest had questioned the surprise when they received the invitations. Guests felt awful, I felt awful.
End of relationship.
Now married to wonderful, caring husband who wouldn't dream of arranging a surprise, other than amazing, handcrafted by him, surprise presents.

No...I'll also be 70 in October! 😱 cannot quite take it.. my family have been told no surprise party. Really just want to go out for a nice meal with family..

I LOVE surprises and always have. My DD organised a surprise party for my 60th, with friends I hadn’t seen for ages, it was so lovely to think that friends and family had travelled great distances just for me. Then the family organised the most perfect surprise trip abroad for me for my 70th -DH drove me to a beautiful house in France for a ‘quiet weekend’ but the rest of the family were already there and treated me as a Queen for the weekend.
I’m so lucky to have such caring friends and family.

No, I like to know exactly what I’m doing.

I am happy to have a surprise gift rather than be asked what I would like but I hate having surprise parties or events “given “ to me .
When I was 60 my family planned a break away with celebrations which was a lovely idea and fun for them … fancy dress was part of it . I felt that I had missed out by not being involved and I was quite stressed about what to pack / wear etc .
I have never told them because I hate to offend ! Hopefully I’m a good actress and no one guessed how I felt

There are lovely surprises and nasty surprises so it would depend very much which it was.

It depends entirely on what the surprise was. If hubby told me in the morning that he'd booked a table for a meal out that evening -not that he ever would, then I'd be fine. I definitely wouldn't like a surprise party or visitors descending on me unannounced.

I hate surprises. I like to prepare myself mentally for each aspect of any occasion. For my 60th, my niece decided to add my birthday celebration to my brother and my sister-in-law's anniversary celebrations. It was horrible, I was given a party hat to wear, made me feel like a clown. Everyone had presents for me, which I hadn't expected. I was angry with myself because my reaction was definitely not what everyone was expecting. I am bracing myself for my 70th. I will not be with my family during that period, but my colleagues at work are preparing something, although they know that I won't like it

Snap, also feels wrong that they want to treat me. I’m the one who usually treats them. I will however go with the flow but on my terms.
I am 70 in May and when family started making noises about doing something I had a good think and realised if I called the shots it would all be in my hands; no surprises, no late night party & at a place I’ve been wanting to go to for ages.
I advised them where I would like a birthday lunch and who I would like invited. They all agreed. My lovely OH has said he will pay but they’ve all refused and will split the bill. Lucky me.

Marydoll

Witzend

Marydoll

I am puzzled FGT, APARTMENT is not a word, I would normally use. In Glasgow, many would say flat, as do I
In fact, today DH and I were discussing the flat we rent out. He would think I had gone all posh on him, I I talked about our apartment. with one p.

In my defence, I taught foreign languages in another life.

appartement in French and appartamento in Italian.
That vocabulary is embedded in the depths of my brain.

I still remember a TV news item about some incident in or near a small block of flats somewhere in SE U.K. A TV journalist asked a young woman whether she lived in one of the flats.
Reply was a very indignant ‘It’s not a flat - it’s an APARTMENT!’
😂😂

As you can see, I have no delusions of grandure 🤣

Ooops grandure grandeur!

No . I like things preplanned and I like routine it's how my life has always worked. I can cope with emergencies but they don't sit right with me . Until I had my diagnosis of my disability in 2022 I didn't realise things make me anxious just thought I was weird.
All my family know I don't like surprises and plus I tend to question what's going on. When my daughter was pregnant the second time I already knew as I could see the signs so had to act surprised when her eldest gave me the scan picture. But my daughter said you knew . I said I could tell. It's like I can always tell if a baby is a boy or girl . Years ago where I used to live I asked a new mom how old her son was and she cried turned out everyone thought he was a girl. But I told her I could see clearly he was a boy.

Anyway if anyone shouted surprise if I am standing up I end up on the floor. As my startle reflex kicks in my limbs stiffen and I fall like a tree. Sitting down I am frozen until it wears off. 🤣

Witzend

Marydoll

I am puzzled FGT, APARTMENT is not a word, I would normally use. In Glasgow, many would say flat, as do I
In fact, today DH and I were discussing the flat we rent out. He would think I had gone all posh on him, I I talked about our apartment. with one p.

In my defence, I taught foreign languages in another life.

appartement in French and appartamento in Italian.
That vocabulary is embedded in the depths of my brain.

I still remember a TV news item about some incident in or near a small block of flats somewhere in SE U.K. A TV journalist asked a young woman whether she lived in one of the flats.
Reply was a very indignant ‘It’s not a flat - it’s an APARTMENT!’
😂😂

As you can see, I have no delusions of grandure 🤣

Marydoll

I am puzzled FGT, APARTMENT is not a word, I would normally use. In Glasgow, many would say flat, as do I
In fact, today DH and I were discussing the flat we rent out. He would think I had gone all posh on him, I I talked about our apartment. with one p.

In my defence, I taught foreign languages in another life.

appartement in French and appartamento in Italian.
That vocabulary is embedded in the depths of my brain.

I still remember a TV news item about some incident in or near a small block of flats somewhere in SE U.K. A TV journalist asked a young woman whether she lived in one of the flats.
Reply was a very indignant ‘It’s not a flat - it’s an APARTMENT!’
😂😂

A friend organised a surprise party for her husband, except we knew it wasn’t a surprise and that she had told him! On the day the whole thing was very false with the husband trying to look surprised and telling people that he didn’t have a clue.

Oh, I can see that the real me of about 9 years old keeps popping out from the 79 year old person that everyone sees.

Most of the surprises I have had ,I am game to have a go. I appreciate the efforts made to make the surprise even if it is not exactly what I want. I remember making a major effort for my lovely husbands 60th birthday, involving getting him unaware to the lake district on the pretext of a days walking there. We usually shared driving and he was great at nodding off when he was sat in the passenger seat. I was counting on this to be able to get well on the way before he realized what was happening but he didnt fall asleep at all that day. However I had booked a night at a super hotel called Merewood and we had a special room complete with jacuzzi etc. I had managed to stash in the boot, unseen, the birthday cake and champagne and presents and cards from the family who were all in on the surprise. Warned the hotel that we would arrive in walking stuff but had all the evening things hidden too. Apart from the fact that I had to tell him earlier than just arriving at the hotel, it all went very well and he talked about it often and said how much he had enjoyed it. It certainly took a lot of effort and wouldnt like to do it again but therefore can appreciate the efforts put in.

But you see as I say , mentally I am about 9 so love to go on the waltzers at the fair, and see a little alley and sometimes just walk up it to see what is at the end. Cant do a lot of those things now due to my back etc but when days are not very good and I am struggling I would hate to think that this is how every day is going to be for the rest of my life, so surprises are a positive thing to me.

I also find it good because no one will be judging what you are wearing as you did not know you would be going to that place. Win win to me, dont have to think about it. Each to their own. One of my very oldest friends is exactly the opposite. She always looks very well dressed and sorted for every occasion but of course that what she wants. Good advance notice so that she can plan etc and that makes her feel much more comfortable. When we meet up we have lots to talk about and do and as we are such old friends she is quite happy to meet up on an off chance and so I could ring her and say are you free to meet today, and I totally accept if she says no, so we match up and stay friends however different we are about things. As they say "whatever floats your boat"

I hate surprises and my family know it. My DD has just rung to ask which show in London I would like to see for my birthday in June!